Verbal abuse by a playdoc?

I have a question everyone…. Have any of you ever run across someone you thought you connected with on a very deep mental level, and then start getting told how everything you do is wrong, and you need therapy, etc…?

I have recently been discussing (or trying to discuss) some Medfet stuff with a self proclaimed “Dominant/Master Play Doctor”, who says he knows a bit about psychology, and we hit it off very well at first, but the more he asked and I opened up, the more he has told me how messed up and mentally damaged I am. He has called me a liar simply because of the way I have written things. The facts were exact and true, but the description might have been embellished a little. Like, when you get excited and you write about something that may have only happened once, but you remember every detail and it’s engraved in your mind, so you talk about it like you are very experienced in that area? Sometimes I write very passionately, it’s right off the tip of my tongue, and it’s fresh. I write how I actually feel at that time on that day, and it doesn’t mean I am always in that sort of mood about that particular thing every single day. I have ADHD, and my mood and attention span changes several times a day (or even several times in an hour).

Please tell me, am I really that much of a screw up? Just cuz of a few things in my writing that make me sound like I have TONS of experience, but only one person is annoyed by it? Because I write with passion, does that mean I am dysfunctional and in serious mental pain? Because I have mentioned that I am strong, but fear Doctors… does that make me a liar or a cheat or a fake or a chicken? Oh, and just because I am a proficient typist, does it mean I ignore him just because I type faster than he reads and replies? Any of you cross type in chat? Especially when the conversation gets heated because you have just been accused of something for the 10th time in one day?

I am so frustrated right now I can’t even describe it. We argue, we make up, I get accused, I get defensive, and then I apologize, just to be accused again. He is interesting and we have only talked for about a week, but I don’t know how much more I can take. I just hate to think that I could be missing the best MedFet play of my life just because I couldn’t just blow off the BS he has been accusing me of. Have any of you other MedFet lovers out there ever dealt with VERBAL ABUSE in this type of play/lifestyle? I like this person for some strange reason, but I can’t handle the negativity. It’s really dragging me down and making me doubt my ability to function in normal life, much less MedFet.

Help?

I have literally chatted with several of you guys on this site, and this is the first time this has ever happened to me. Do you think I really do all that stuff wrong? Do you really think I am that messed up? You guys have read my posts, this is why I have asked you.

I don't know what you might have said that occasioned the accusations and what you say is verbal abuse -- not do I really need or want to know -- but no one should voluntarily expose herself to abuse -- verbal or physical. If you think you have a problem, then you should seek the assistance of a medcial professional and not someone on this forum. And it seems to me that "the possibility of missing the best MedFet play of your life" is not a reason to subject yourself to verbal abuse. Find someone who will accept you for who you are and go from there.

I must honestly say that at this time I have not gone back and read every single one of your posts however what I have seen has in no way marked you as being anything other than a dedicated MedFet explorer. You share what the majority share, the desire to live out a fantasy of your choice with a like-minded person who shares your desires, without any guilt that how you feel or are aroused is in anyway a negative thing.

If after a week you have not made a positive connection and find yourself asking the forum for advice, you must take a step back to reflect on this yourself. You said he is a self proclaimed “Dominant/Master Play Doctor”. Domination means control, it does not mean abuse, and if emotional abuse is already present in cyber meetings physical abuse may be the result of a real-time meeting. As far as being a Master Play Doctor, I am curious where one obtains that accreditation? Those that boast the loudest seldom come through with anything remarkable.

If someone is being the least bit abusive or if you have even one second thought about this person, it's time to end it right now. If it does not feel right and is not going the way you want, it is not going to get better. Consider it one of many you may need to pursue before you find the right one, and try again.

If your Playdoc does not treat you with respect, and above all, does not make you feel good about yourself, this is not the one for you.

It sounds to me like that play-doc has some issues of his own, and is not the right one for you. My best advice is that you simply inform him that you do not feel the two of you would be compatible in the long-run because you already, at this very early stage of things, are not entirely comfortable with him. Then just tell him you wish to make a clean break with him - and do exactly that. Short and sweet is the best way to go about it. Block his emails if he refuses to accept your wish to end things and move on to something better. Because, believe me (I'm 51 years old and have learned a few things during my lifetime about bad relationships in the making and how to spot them), things will only get worse with someone like this if you were to get even further involved with him. So save yourself a lot of mental anguish by looking out for your own best interests.

On the plus side of it, being a member of this forum means that you are in probably the best place there is to find a great play-doc that will not only give you a great sexual experience, but also prove to be a positive person in your life. Life is too short and precious to waste your time with an abusive jerk.

BTW, I have ADD of the inattentive variety. I recommend you try checking out this site: http://www.addforums.com/forums/index.php I'm also a member of that forum and can tell you there are lots of great people there who share their own experiences with the neurological disorder we have, and offer lots of information and support for other adults with ADD. Give it a try as I have. I'm sure it'll give you a more positive outlook about having ADD.

ADDie

I think you should change play doctor as soon as possible. I have a long experience in the field but i NEVER bad treated a female patient.first of all the doctor is a gentleman and it's his duty to make his patient felle good and relaxed. sometimes a female patient asked for pain but it as always phisical and inside the rules of a good mannered man.

Don't walk, run away from this man. He is the classic portrait of an abuser. He is trying to undermine your self-confidence by setting unattainably high standards, and then when you fail to meet them, he calls you down.

To my mind, for a medfet relationship to be truly successful, both partners must have a great deal of respect for one another and their talents. Not only that, they should care for how the other partner feels. This guy clearly does not care about how you feel, he only wants to bolster himself. I'd say he knows a good bit about psychology, but he's using it to manipulate you.

I believe that in the past you've said that you have dabbled in the BDSM lifestyle. Now, I have no experience there, but are you sure you're not confusing BDSM with Medplay? I believe that there are places where the lines get a little blurry between the two, but not to the point where you are doubting yourself and the things that you do.

Get away from this guy, cut him off, and have nothing more to do with him. You might miss out on a medplay experience, but better that than to lose yourself, I guarantee it.

Take care, girl. Let us know if you need anything.

Play On!

LadyDoc

The word "playdoc" itself indicates in fact that this is a play. Whatever these games contains, the first condition must be, that both parts defines the games, and that you obviously do not do.

When you take it up in here, you've probably already made the break - or will have to do it, and I think that's the best for yourself - as you describe the relationship.

I'm glad that you get so much support here - and I would like to add my support. A relationship must be as the participants IN COMMON define it.

The word "play" in playdoc would indicate that the situation should be pleasurable for all involved. If you are not enjoying the play you should terminate it.

Just like real doctors or play doctors, you have find one that you are comfortable with. It is time for you to move on and find one that shows you the respect!

As others have said, this guy is an abuser, and you did the right thing in cutting off contact with him. My sister, who is an attractive, intelligent, witty, and genuinely good woman, spent 14 years married to a guy who never physically hit her as far as I know but constantly berated her and found fault with everything about her. He could not have done more damage to her spirit if he had beaten her black and blue. You are a good person who deserves to be treated as such. No one has a right to be abusive to you. Whether the abuse is verbal, physical, sexual, or psychological, it's the same game plan--the abuser dominating and establishing control over the one being abused.

Yeah, this guy is using classic tactics used by abusers. He may or may not believe the things he is saying to you. Either way, the point is to make you very insecure so he can control you. You're fine, he's not, good thing you left.

It seems that you have found a solution and I am sorry for your negative experience. Everyone else has said it on here far better than I could. However, I feel I must add that the "embellishing" of the descriptions you speak of, and when you are excited, etc, seems to be very common, and I personally believe that it makes for decidedly more interesting writing. I hope that you are not put off by this playdoc, and continue sharing your stories!

Yes, a solution has been found for this situation, and i appreciate everyone's encouragement to move forward and not let me pull away from MedFet again.. i am very curious, and i would like to explore, and someday, i'll get my chance.

The playdoc whom i never referenced directly in this thread, has come forth and apologized, and all is well. So, we all move forward from this point on. Thanks again, everyone, for being so supportive when i wasn't sure how to handle this situation.

Have a good weekend!

*smooches*