Boyfriend has agreed- now what?

I have recently started exploring anal with my new boyfriend, and have never done this before. I find myself to be enjoying anal play more than I thought I would. I have always been experimental with him, as we are generally very open about our likes and dislikes, and he is open minded when it comes to sex, which I love. I have recently been attempting to introduce anal to him too- just playing, without actually entering at this point, as he has told me before that it feels good.

We were talking about sex a week ago, and I confessed how much I was enjoying anal play, and that I wanted to try it on him as well. He has been very turned on lately by the idea of me being a nurse. As I'm sure everyone can see, there seems to be a very easy tie-in between the two... Which makes me very excited!

I have a few questions, for those who have tried anal play (preferably females to males, but all perspectives are welcome!)and those who have recently introduced medfet into their relationship in a "light" way. (I think that introducing it slowly is important, with my boyfriend.)

1) Has anyone used "finger cots" or similar, in anal play? I think that my boyfriend is concerned about cleanliness, and I think that this will make him feel better about it- I think I would too. It will also be easy to incorporate into the nurse role. Where do you buy them? I am looking more for a store than online, at present. (We are going on holiday soon, and I don't think they'd come fast enough!)

2)How soon into the "examination" should I introduce the anal play? Should I give him a warning? (He has agreed that it would be something that he would try, and has so far seemed to like it.) I was planning on being a dominant nurse!

3)Does anyone have any tips on roleplay as a nurse? I must confess that I have never done real roleplay in a situation.. We are both excited about it, but I am a newbie to the role! Any help would be appreciated.

I think that I am hoping that if I am a dominant nurse and he is my patient, that he will do the same thing to me.. Which seems like a pretty good introduction to medical fetish! I have always preferred in fantasy the role of a patient, but I am finding myself quite turned on by the idea of a nurse role.

Thanks in advance!

Ellen -

You have asked some GREAT questions! Am certain that you will get some wonderful suggestions from the members here.

From my perspective, I'd suggest that😢A) You make it perfectly clear to your bf that he is to be submissive and that you will be in total control of the exam. (B) You should also discuss "safe" words in case he should suffer any anxiety and/or pain. (C)You might also want to condition the role play on a reciprocal basis.

just wish you were my gf!!!

Ellen -

Welcome to why we're all on this site! My wife & I both enjoy giving/receiving anal stimulation in many ways. One of my favorite subjects! A few things to get started & answer your questions:

1) Cleanliness is certainly the most important thing. For this reason, you should always wear gloves on both hands - but expect to get a bit dirty..this is part of the 'taboo' aspect of anal play. You can buy exam gloves anywhere. It's also a great part of the role playing aspect. When you tell him to roll over on his belly so you can perform a rectal exam while he's watching you don a pair of gloves, he'll immediately know why it was a good idea to agree to the whole affair! (We ALWAYS keep a roll of paper towels in the 'exam room'.)

2)As far as "how soon in the exam?", I would wait until almost the end. Reason #1 - to make him think he might not have to go thru with it & #2 - because it's new, it will be the most exciting, erotic part. Warn him? Yes - when you tell him to roll over so you can examine his bum. That's as much warning as you'd receive in real life..unless you have a 'consult' with him at the beginning outlining what's gonna happen during his exam. That's fun, too.

3) Tips for roleplay? Take charge! You're performing the exam - he needs to follow instructions so you can do your 'job'. Half of the excitement of role play is relinquishing control to someone else...especially when you think it might hurt a little (or a lot). When you get to be the patient, that's what you'll want. Instruct him every step of the way. Tell him how you want him positioned and what you're going to do next. Give him feedback throughout.."you're doing very good...does this hurt?...how does that feel?, etc." You don't have to know everything to say, just act like you do...make stuff up...practice some phrases you'll use when you're alone. If you went to a doctor's visit and the doc never said a word, it would just be a weird touching session...my wife loves to play with me, but this is her biggest area of difficulty..the speaking part. It was weird at first getting a 'silent enema', but she's much more vocal now...and it's FAR more erotic that way.

4) Because anal play is new, you have to start slow and be gentle. It would also be a great help to trim your fingernails if they're long. After he rolls onto his belly, tell him that you're going to begin. Using a water-based KY-type of lube, generously lube your index finger & then slowly spread his cheeks apart with the other hand. Start by applying gentle pressure to his rectum and slowly massage it in circles. This will help lube it as well as get his nerves going like crazy. Pay attention to (& enjoy) any sounds he's making. Ask how he's doing. After a minute of this, tell him you're going to put your finger inside him and then slowly insert your finger. If he's nervous, tell him to relax..you're a 'professional' & it'll be over soon. (If he's REALLY nervous, then this is why a safeword is important to establish ahead of time.) It's more comfortable for him if you aim your finger towards his navel. Once you're in, you can gently feel around a bit...massage his prostate, move your finger in & out, etc. After he's OK with it, try having him get up on all fours with his legs spread and rocking his hips back towards you. This will open him up nicely. Insert your finger as before and reach your other hand under him to gently stroke his scrotum & penis. After a bit of this, you'll probably be able to insert 2 or more fingers at a time, but don't rush it if he's not up to it yet. Tell him it's time to give you a sperm sample and try stroking him to a climax while you're fingers are inside him - either in this position (on all fours) or have him lie on his back with his knees to his chest and your fingers in him. I can guarantee it will be the best orgasm he's ever felt. It should be a LARGE sample.

Please write back and let us know how you made out. After the fingers, you could move on to other techniques and instruments. The 3 most important things - be safe, respect your partner & HAVE FUN!!!

Definitely get the box of exam gloves latex/or non latex and a nice lube that agrees with both of you 😃

Thank yous o much for your responses- this is helping me so much! 😃 Especially wospatient- karma to you!I like the suggestions a lot. I have purchased some "finger cots" and have discussed it with my boyfriend- we are going on holiday soon, and we are both looking forward to his exam. The tips on how to roleplay made me feel much better and much more confident about it. He isn't that nervous.. He was telling me that it turns him on when we do things that are a bit taboo, etc.

He has also told me recently that he may like to try an enema- giving and receiving one with me. I have never tried this before and am intrigued- and am wondering if he has the same fetish as I do..

Thank you again for your advice, please keep it coming!

And eroticenemas, thanks for the compliment!

So glad I (& we) could help. I think this was only my 2nd posting on this site! I'm warm & fuzzy now... 😃 My first karma!! (I don't even know what that means yet, but I'm sure it's nice so I'll take it with a smile!!

My wife & I occasionally play with enemas, too. You can get a hot water bottle type at any pharmacy for about $10-15...cheap toy! We usually only use water, but I'm sure there are plenty of enema folks who could give you all kinds of pointers.

My only concern is that finger cots might not do it. I think DrMckenzie would agree that it's far better to be safe & use gloves. They're cheap & if anyone finds them at your place, you can always say that you use them to clean the toilet or something.

HAVE FUN!!!!

b

Thank you again to everyone who replied- I was semi successful in having a session with my boyfriend, although it was more foreplay than anything else- we just used our hands and the proper protection. He did let me try anal stimulation with him, though, which I loved doing.. I may write a submission for the story section later.

Thanks for your good questions and the excellent responses that you provoked, Ellen. I'm sorry that the exam session wasn't a complete and over-the-top success -- but it sounds to me like your boyfriend continues to be open to further adventures with you -- so that is great.

I'm glad you found the finger cots helpful -- and of course gloves and KY are essential as well. To make the situation a little more medical try buying a rectal thermometer for him, and an inexpensive stethoscope (from a local pharmacy). I find that even a small amount of real medical equipment is an instant turn-on for the initiated. When he sees you walk into a room wearing that stethoscope, and shaking down a well lubed anal thermometer, he'll know exactly what's in store and begin anticipating a great time together with you!

Keep playing, and keep communicating with him and with us! Good luck

Hello Ellen -

From my perspective, the comments re: "expect to get a little dirty" can certainly be part of the play, but I for myself I generally take a couple of bulbs or (in a pinch) a couple of Fleets to start clean, so to speak. I do this in consideration of my partner, who is NOT into scat.

This can be part of the play or not, depending on what works for you and your partner.

You can lube your partner beforehand, or not, and then once he's "cleaned out" a little or "prepped" for the next procedure (DRE, prostate massage, stretching, etc) you can proceed that way.

One thing no one seems to have mentioned is that if you write the scenarios out before you start in your first two or five or however many it takes to get completely comfortable it may help you both relax.

It's less spontaneous, certainly, but having a clue in the early going is something I found helpful. In fact, my first exam I wrote out a full "prescription" of "procedures" from the POV of a doctor, and the nurse followed them to the letter. This was hugely successful, and my partner at the time actually came as hard as I did with virtually no contact - an amazing experience. (seriously, toward the end of the session she placed my hand on the inside of one of her legs just above the knee, and my hand came away very wet...her way of communicating her satisfaction with the session. Needless to say a major factor for me as well.

All and all, if you see yourselves as actors and following a script, it gives you both a guideline or "instruction set" to fall back on if you get nervous or anxious.

I hope this helps.

To samuelsonpeters - I'll echo your idea of a 'procedure'. I've done that with my wife before as she's a bit insecure about role playing as the 'doctor'. This can definitely help ease any apprehensions to reduce the 'Oh, no - now what do I do or say next?' factor.

Ellen - glad to hear that you had a good start. We'll look for more 'good news' in the future. 😃

Hey Ellen: Your guy is lucky to have you. Keep on trucking. I really love anal stimulation and the longer it takes the better. Going slow is great. I agree that having something written out to start is a good thing. It helps make sure that what is really wanted will happen.

Thank you everyone, for more wonderful suggestions. I actually got very nervous in the moment when I went to "examine" him, and I think that that is one of the reasons why it didnt go quite as I'd planned. I LOVE the idea of writing out the scenario beforehand- one of the things that my boyfriend and I used to do frequently is write out sex scenes that we wanted to try and send them to each other, especially when I was away for a few days on business. It would be like extended foreplay, and we would jump each other afterwards! I think I will for sure try that- I have a brief business trip this week. What a good opportunity! He has been open to my hints, and joked recently about getting a doctors coat and me being turned on. It seems to be going well, I like that he is so receptive to trying things.

The first time that I tried to penetrate him anally, he said that he didnt like the feeling. However, a week or so later, I was gentle and continued playing outside, but not putting my finger in. He likes this, and it is also a HUGE turn on for me, so I kept doing it. He has been doing the same with me, and I am discovering that I like anal stimulation, although we are slowly working our way up- I have not yet graduated to actual anal sex, just fingers. However, my love of it intrigues him, and I recently tried it again, gently. He says he likes it more as he gets used to it. He wants me to try to find his prostate, which is another thing I need to learn altogether- however, I do think another checkup will be in order soon!

As well, karma to some with great suggestions, and my sincere thanks 😃

As well,

"my partner at the time actually came as hard as I did with virtually no contact - an amazing experience. (seriously, toward the end of the session she placed my hand on the inside of one of her legs just above the knee, and my hand came away very wet...her way of communicating her satisfaction with the session. Needless to say a major factor for me as well."

I do that to my boyfriend all the time to let him know how aroused he makes me. Is this a huge turn-on? He sure seems to like it- I like for him to know how satisfied I am with him.

The thing that really arouses my wife for anal play and more is when I use a gloved index finger in her vagina and my middle finger in her anus while giving her oral attention. I ease into penetration of both orifices (vagina first) and then proceed to touching and pressure of her anus. Ten minutes of this usually gets her begging me to "push it in" which I do slowly and gently.

The side benefit of all this is a tremendous orgasm that surprises us both because it causes her vagina to contract but her anus relaxes almost completely. This realization of her anus relaxing was what led us to the first discomfort free anal sex attempt. When It all happens right, we are both amazed at the ease in which I am able to enter her anus and we are both amazed at the extreme pleasure anal sex gives us both.

If you haven't introduced you BF to these forums, I think it is about time. Knowing that other guys love anal play and prostate massage may be all he needs to embrace anal play.

Well, in for a penny, in for a pound...

I suggest that in addition to writing out the scenario (a story board approach, in a way) that you can include prescribed "procedures" - it isn't widely talked about, but you actually get a prescription for things like a barium enema, colonoscopy, MRI, etc (I once took a doctors prescription directly to an MRI facility and saved myself $750, but that's another story entirely and probably only a turn-on if you are a CPA)

So, mentally separating the procedures from the story and then mixing them back in as I formulated the scene was helpful to me.

I don't know about anyone of the rest of you guys, but that a woman can become so stimulated that she cums without my touching her - well, sorry, but I don't think it gets any better than that. And YES, Ellen, the physical manifestations of this (prodigious quantities of fluid is certainly one of them) are a GALACTIC turn-on.

On another point, I once had a partner (an OR nurse, as it happens) who used to start with standard massage with me lying on my belly on the bed, on a towel for obvious reasons. She would simply provide a standard massage for about 45 minutes. Of course, I knew what was coming, so there was this constant tension created between that knowledge and the vanilla massage in the early going. As she worked on the hamstrings and hips and eventually my glutes, my legs would naturally sort of magically "drift" apart, until she had the access she wanted. This wasn't medfet specifically, and she never actually penetrated me. Looking back this seems very weird to me, but whatever.

However, once she could get to my anus, she would use her fingers to push my cheeks open, and alternate working over my anal opening with the pads of her thumbs. She used a combination of oil and lotion but I don't recall the formula, unfortunately. She would simply work her thumbs over the opening, the ring and the wider area in general, watching my response until (I suspect) I was actually open, and when she was moving across the opening there was a repeated "penetration" not exactly what we (on this site) might consider penetration proper, but an opening and relaxation of the ring or sphincter to a point where it was clear to both of us she could have done anything - anything - she wanted.

As I became more and more aroused, I would gradually spread my legs further and further, and eventually wind up on all fours. Usually by the time this happened, I was so aroused that it was just a matter of time before I would have an extremely exhaustive orgasm.

So what I learned here is that sometimes, as the Bauhaus architects once said, "less is more".

Best of luck, I hope you try this approach to your BF's initiation. You can use the technique over the course of three or four sessions...he may wind up actually asking you to penetrate him. It certainly was helpful to me, and of course the nature of chances not taken does occasionally haunt me.

BANZAI...

I think you should talk with him about all the role play and plan it out in every detail so he knows what hes getting and you know the limits, and personally I think latex gloves are far more exciting than finger cots, but as long as you plan everything out it should go well.

My personal view is if you are going to do anal and vaginal play then you must use rubber gloves for one or the other.

If you dont then you are risking an infection like thrust,

However much you try I always find anal gets a bit dirty so gloves are important

Hi ellena, every girlfriend and wife has always enjoyed sticking a dildo in my ass, it turns women on to do that to a man, just go for it....

Don't stress over it too much.. just have fun and be safe, don't mix holes 😁 The best sex, my wife and I have had has been after we just had fun!

Thank you for your questions friend....take care and best regaards...