Curious, interested, or just nosey...

While I admit that I haven't suffered too many counts of individuals (aside from the person I may be dating) inquiring into this private realm, I have been dealt a few outsider questions. The long and the short of that, so as to get to the real point, is on account of my ex who apparently decided shortly after splitting that keeping her end of the bargain and maintaining good faith was not important. Thus some info (how much, I don't know) leaked into the public (how many, I don't know that either) and I have been confronted a couple times.

The real issue I have is this: Admittedly I'm not much for show and tell when it comes to my private sex life, but I can obviously understand genuine curiosity. I like to believe that in my realm of kinks I am multifaceted; because of this I do take an interest in the kinks and/or fetishes of others simply because, well, I'm a pervert and I enjoy bizarre sex. I do not pry and am very respectful of others privacy-if they choose to share with me I am empathetic, supportive and have a genuine interest.

I am most bothered by those types that seem to have no interest beyond the freak-show mentality. These are the types that are not terribly curious about the sexual nature as it may apply to them and their own interests so much as targeting someone who is different and cornering them on this. I have absolutely no want to contribute to the inquiries of individuals such as these who would essentially make you their dancing bear.

There is also, in these type instances, the problem of stereotyping and labeling. I would like to believe that I am someone beyond my sexual interests, that I am dynamic and an individual (yeah, aren't we all?), but when someone comes along trying to draw these nuances of your personality from you it reminds me of a vampire taking a victim. After you admit to something like this, you are forever cataloged as the guy who wears diapers. Liken it to people of a different ethnicity, sexual preference, political viewpoint who lead in with just that as their personality and become nothing more than what the label stuck to their forehead states. That, of any possible label, is the last thing I want to be known for.

Granted, I have more or less become well known to be a kinky individual in my groups, but this is ambiguous enough to let me by and remain a person instead, not a preference. If someone ever did approach me and I ascertained that it was of genuine, and perhaps shared interest that they started to open up the topic, I may find myself more at ease in sharing with them; as it is, however, I have, on the two accounts of being questioned, surmised that those individuals were seeking a dancing bear for their amusement purposes.

Any similar takes, different takes, anything?

Very thoughtful words, and I would agree. I think most people here feel pretty much the same. We all have a want to share what we do, some want to share more then others, that's up to who you are. What you are describing is TV shows, like Donahue. There only purpose is to bring the "dancing bear" to a big audience. I think we all can easily identify with how that works. I myself, would only want to share with another person. By share, I mean I also have to feel it's mutual. I am not about to feed the Donahue's of the world!

Hey i like dancing bears they are cute LOL!!! yep im the same as you two. i want to share but only with someone whos willing to open up and accept others kinks like i would of hers

I agree as well. i wouldn't feel comfortable sharing this with someone if they weren't going to accept me. & i hope we all find that person to share it with.

I have too many skeletons to like dancing bears. I open up to only those who open up to me....Ive been burned and charred too many times from trusting people. Personally I would say I trust them...just not the devil inside them. Your individual psychological attributes are what make you who u are and it sounds like you are just a sexually adventurous person. I would give this advice. "fuck'em if they cant take a joke" I gave up long ago caring about others opinions or perceptions of me when my mother had me institutionalized. My intelligence far exceeds the norm and my only problem in life s that my personality expresses that. good luck to u mr. kink master but honestly just tell them to f#&k themselves.

I say, don't waste time with those that aren't genuinely interested in you the person.