Ok, Rubbermark - here is a dare for you.
You must take a "Hands Free" enema. You must not use your hands at all for ANYTHING - beginning at the time the bag is full (min. 2 quarts) - This means you will need to manage lubrication, insertion, clamp, retention, evacuation all without using your hands. No assistance from others either. You may only use your hands again once it is time to wipe.
Once completed, you must post here how you accomplished the task.
I did my date this weekend but only just got the chance to write about it.
I did have to use a bit of 'poetic licence' to achieve this. I'll let you decide whether I passed or failed...
I actually made a kind of jig to hold the nozzle in place and act as a clamp. I took two lengths of pine, one wide enough to fit across my bath tub and one a little wider than my waist. In the middle of both I drilled a hole big enough to fit the tube through. I then routed out a slot at each end of the smaller piece if wood that ran across the width of the plank. On the larger piece underneath I drilled a hole to correspond with the slots. I then used win but bolts to fix the two together. This meant that the smaller piece could slide back and forth over the larger piece, covering or uncovering the hole on the lower piece.
I then fitted the tube up through the underside of te lower piece and then up through the upper piece. By sliding the upper piece back it essentially clamped the tube.
I used some duct tape to hold the nozzle pointing straight up and then connected up the bag.
I hooked it from the shower bracket and filled it with two litres of salt water. The clamp needed a bit if adjustment to avoid leaking but it worked surprisingly well first time.
From here on in I was hands free.
I had an old bottle of lube that was like a tube rather than the pump style most lubes seem to be now. I managed to use my mouth to squirt some of it into the nozzle but I wasn't that accurate. I had to use my tongue to spread it around the nozzle a bit. Can't say it tastes amazing. A bit sweet but certainly not one to get excited about.
I was then a bit concerned that I spilled lube in the tub and I didn't want to slip over. I used my teeth to shove a towel into the tub and rubbed it around with my feet a bit.
I then stood above the nozzle and squatted a bit to try and rub some lube on my ass. I wasn't massively successful so just ended up semi fucking the nozzle to try and lube myself as it went in.
Once it was in I was sitting on the top plank with the nozzle deep in me. With a bit of shuffling I managed to move the top plank back and release the clamping effect.
Immediately I felt the water rush into me. It didn't take very long at all or the water to flow into me. I very nearly started to massage my abdomen but checked myself from using my hands at the last minute. Deep breathing was very much the only way I could deal with this.
I would also have loved to have played with myself but no hands made this impossible.
Once it was all in I actually didn't feel immediately desperate to release. Once I stood up though a little bit came out involuntarily as the nozzle slid out.
I lay on the floor and rolled side to side to spread the water a bit but this had the effect of me really needing to go so I shot to the toilet and made it just in time.
That's where the hands free ended.
I hope this satisfies the dare. I know I kind of cheated a little. Let me know what you think.