When I was growing up, my dad handled discipline in a very consistent, structured way with my older brother, younger sister, and me. If he felt he needed to paddle, he would tell us, and we would walk together to the bathroom. He would get the paddle from the closet on the way. Once inside, I knew the routine: pants and underwear down, bend over with my hands on the back of the toilet tank, look straight ahead, and then Dad would paddle. Afterward, he would pray with me, and that part mattered just as much because it brought everything back around to forgiveness and reconciliation.
As an adult, I sometimes find myself wanting to reenact that same kind of structure with a trusted older man, not sexually, but as a form of accountability. I picture talking honestly beforehand about where I’ve fallen short, praying together, and then allowing him to lead what happens next. If he felt physical discipline was appropriate, I’d want something close to that same basic setup, including a paddle similar to what my dad used, followed by prayer afterward.
For me, the appeal is the seriousness, vulnerability, accountability, surrender of control, and sense of closure. I’m curious whether anyone else feels the same way or has ever wanted to reenact something similar from childhood for those reasons.