Touched inappropriately on her first gyno exam

My wife was touched inappropriately on her first gyno exam, young and naive she had no idea what should or shouldn’t happen.Anyone else had this happen?

How/ where was she touched in aappropriately?

He touched her clitoris unnecessarily

The sad thing is, doctors are trained to not touch anyone's clit. So he knew exactly what he was doing. I feel like there are inappropriate doctors everywhere that just haven't been caught.

I agree ,they haven’t been caught!

Patients trust doctors, which allows doctors to do things that could seem medically necessary, while not actually being necessary.

They do trust Doctors but perhaps not as readily as in the past

Yup. I was. While I don’t think it’s common, at least for those of us who are a little older I think it was more common than people would like to believe

I think that when it was common for patients to get undressed and be examined, doctors could more easily disguise inappropriate touching. Now that patients rarely get undressed, and there is a hyper fixation on inappropriate sexual behavior, doctors have become very leary to even touch patients at all.

Yup. I was. While I don’t think it’s common, at least for those of us who are a little older I think it was more common than people would like to believe

- i am very sorry to hear about your experience - only thinking about such practises makes me feel to vomit !! - but in my thoughts it wasn't possible nowadays - exception's maybe possible -, because the doctor's will risk their approbation, when it will be communnicated !! - and not only that, it is a criminal case, and so will arrested very soon !! - and that is, what they have to earn !!!

Nurse Philips. Your right,I think it happened more often years ago,Doctors seemed to have more power then an wouldn’t be questioned.

Did you not think of reporting it, at the time?

Playdoc gyno exams are one thing & I am aware there are lots of folk here who enjoy such things enormously including things like vaginal & rectal capacity testing clitoris sensitivity & orgasm response testing - the only limits seem the fevered imaginations of the play doctors & their willing patients BUT for a real life doctor to touch a patient improperly for his or her own gratification is a real no no. Should be struck off without doubt. 😡

I agree Alan

A and H. No, it never crossed her mind as she didn’t know what was supposed to happen in an exam,at the time she thought it was normal.

I’ve come back to this thread a couple times wishing there was more discussion, so … I’m going to start some myself!

I don’t have any judgment or opinion on the OP’s initial claim, just to be clear. I accept @e7d3 ’s statement at face value, entirely.

What I find interesting - and inresolvable, honestly - is how hard it is to judge intent and … guilt? … from just simple assertions.

“…was touched inappropriately”

“…touched her clitoris…”

These days especially, the guidelines are extremely robust so there’s certainly less room for nuance than there would have been. But even so, I sometimes wonder with today’s heightened sensitivity how often assertions/claims/accusations of inappropriate behavior are exactly what they were thought to be?

To give a slightly more specific example, just go to r/WeDeserveBetter (IIRC) on Reddit. There, the anti-medical establishment bias is so strong that almost all doctors are presumed callous, uncaring monsters and male gynecologists specifically are often presumed abusers.

To be fair - there is absolutely abuse that occurs! And there is a LOT of “just doing my job and not thinking hard about the patient’s sensitivities” that goes on by doctors as well. My thoughts are more about how often very general statements or assertions tend to be met with either instant support - you think you were abused therefore you were abused - or instant rejection - you’re just being oversensitive, doctors are just doing their jobs get over it.

Both suck.

But what we have now, which is generally very good and much better, but not perfect, is a system with so many checks and gates to do one’s job — constant consent for every small detail, for example - that there are … unintended consequences. Doctors who don’t bother with exams that can be uncomfortable or violating because it’s easier to just avoid the risk or hassle. And expectation od patients today that intimate exams won’t be done unless absolutely positively necessary. And I do think it’s likely the right thing, and there are no perfect answers, regardless!

But all that said - well, obviously - I think there’s a lot of interesting facets worth discussing, and interesting to do so - although in other forums, these days even implying that someone’s perspective may not be entirely as valid as stated will lead to accusations of defending the indefensible.

And to reiterate - while I’m using your original posts as examples, I’m absolutely not suggesting anything but what you’ve stated! I’m sorry for your wife’s experience, and if you do seek remedies, I wish you the very best success!

-TYD

In my opinion, as women, are very sensitive topic. One that we talk about intimate exams. Many girls are victims of sexual abuse and then gyno exam, even necessary, are taken very dramatic. Part of med stuff also didn't know how to care about those people's. As well we can talk also about race/cultural or religious aspects. Other topic is about gyno treatments (which very often are painful like IUD and even female OB are careless and gaslighting that patent are not cooperate).

The examination of the clitoris is ( or should be )part of the routine examination of the external female genitalia. Depending on the Anatomy of the female in question, it is done by putting both index fingers on the labia majora next to the clitoris and gently pressing upward. This way the physician can see if the prepuce slides properly over the clitoris and inspect it's coloration. In a normal exam the women being examined likely won't even notice the difference between the doctor inspecting the labia vs the clitoris. Touching the clitoris directly is generally not needed but could ofcourse result from the doctor's clumsiness.

A bit of perspective from The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG).

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) does not publish a standalone protocol dedicated exclusively to a clitoral exam. Instead, the clitoris is evaluated as part of the broader external visual inspection of the vulva during a standard pelvic or gynecologic exam.

Key Aspects of External Assessment (Including the Clitoris)

Visual Inspection: A standard pelvic exam begins with a visual inspection of the external genitalia (vulva), which includes checking the labia, urethral meatus, and clitoris for any visible abnormalities, lesions, inflammation, skin changes, or structural anomalies.

Clitoral Hood Retraction: Clinicians may gently retract the clitoral hood during the external exam when checking for localized conditions such as periclitoral abscesses, adhesions, or lichen sclerosus.

Indications for Focused Evaluation: A targeted physical exam that includes close attention to clitoral anatomy and pelvic floor function is recommended when patients report specific symptoms—such as sexual dysfunction, chronic pelvic pain, or localized discomfort (e.g., female orgasmic disorder assessments).

Routine Screening Stance: ACOG notes that routine pelvic or external-internal gynecologic exams are performed based on shared decision-making, medical history, or specific symptoms rather than as a rigid, mandatory screening tool for asymptomatic individuals.

For our UK members.

Clinical guidelines established by bodies such as the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) and the Royal College of Nursing (RCN) outline stringent clinical and ethical criteria for performing these intimate examinations.

1. Clinical Objectives of the External Inspection

During a vulval examination, a healthcare professional visually and physically inspects the clitoris, labia, mons pubis, perineum, and perianal area to check for:

Structural abnormalities: Assessing for lesions, ulcers, lumps, swelling, or scarring.

Dermatological conditions: Identifying skin changes, such as the patchy white lesions associated with lichen sclerosus.

Female Genital Mutilation (FGM): Identifying any signs of FGM (such as the partial or total removal of the clitoris or type 4 incisions), which triggers strict statutory reporting duties in the UK.

Pain mapping: Evaluating localized vulvodynia or clitoral pain through gentle touch with a gloved finger or cotton swab.

2. Strict Standards of Care & Consent

Because a genital assessment is classified as an intimate examination, UK healthcare providers must adhere to the General Medical Council (GMC) standards:

Informed Consent: The clinician must explain exactly why the examination is necessary, what it will involve, and obtain explicit, documented verbal consent before touching the patient.

The Right to Stop: The patient must be explicitly reminded that they can halt the examination at any moment without needing to justify the decision.

Mandatory Chaperone: An independent chaperone (usually a trained member of the clinical staff) must be offered to all patients for any pelvic or vulval examination. The presence of a chaperone or the patient's refusal of one must be documented.

Dignity and Privacy: Patients must be given a private space to undress from the waist down and provided with a modesty sheet to remain covered as much as possible throughout the process.

3. Patient Self-Examination

For individuals monitoring chronic skin conditions (like lichen sclerosus) or investigating unexplained pain, the Vulval Pain Society recommends a monthly vulval self-examination using a mirror in a private setting. This involves systematically looking at and gently feeling the areas from the mons pubis down through the clitoris, labia, and perineum to note any new changes, thickening, or structural alterations to report to a doctor.

Hopes this helps to clarify and put some perspective and consensus from both the The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) and The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) guidelines on performing a pelvic exam.