My MtF SRS Vulvoplasty bottom surgery was the most intense. I started experiencing this two weeks before the surgery. It was much more mentally intense then the surgery itself.
I was always thinking or questioning in my mind constantly. Are the results going to be what I expected and want? Is it going to fully function while looking as beautiful female genitalia?
My last pre-op appointment (3 days before surgery) the surgeon went into deep details about the surgery procedure. Being under, in the lithotomy position for the entire surgery, etc.
After that appointment, my mental surgery questioning became even more intense. Adding the thought of being in the lithotomy position, spread wide open the entire surgery while being under for everyone to see.
I knew most of the surgery procedure and position beforehand, I've even been examined many times in lithotomy position before. It was awkward, humiliating, and embarrassing but bearable. Some how it just seemed undesirable mental thoughts and pictures.
I'm sure that I put all this mental pressure on myself, just wanted and expected very good results. I'm guessing the lithotomy position ordeal was just being a female.
Just a little note: My surgery results are even better than I expected while getting what I wanted. Completely satisfied with the surgery results.