Wives--What provokes your husband to spank you?

My big mouth usually is what gets me spanked! I'm 26 now and got my first non-parental non-birthday real spanking for punishment when I was 20. The biggest thing once you have decided spanking is something you would want to try/do is to have the RIGHT partner for it. LDD and/or BDSM agreements (as Fresh Girl posted) are necessary. i was spanked the first time at 19 and I was SO embarassed!!! We were all swimming (a bunch of guys and girls) and my boyfriend just grabbed me and hoisted me to the surface of the water in my swimsuit and spanked me as hard as he could with his hand (on a wet bottom! OUCH!) Involuntary tears streamed down my face after and during my shriek of pain. I thrashed until my breasts popped COMPLETELY out of my bikini. It wasn't done to be mean or abusive, He just felt like showing me and everyone else I was no more than a spoiled brat (true!) because I had made a remark that he would pay for my stuff later. (we were going shopping, i was making a half-joke). Anyway the girls were shocked/horrified and a few of the guys were staring in fascination at my total humiliation. My face was so red it was hot even though i was in the river, I could feel it almost giving off steam. We were all just goofing around swimming in the river and my boyfriend and I were teasing each other, as was everyone else. he spanked my nearly bare ass as hard as anyone has ever hit me until I couldn't sit in the car on the way home. Right after my humiliation and shame began to fade, I realized i was wet and NOT from the water & that intrigued me. That first spanking was more painful than any paddle or cane ever! It also became something I asked for timidly after some time, and was embarassed about asking; I thought I was some daddy-obsessed perv-girl! But we did it a few times and he got into it as much as me until one day we got in a bad argument and I slapped him across the face (which was awful! I don't believe in abuse and it was very wrong to do that). Well he didn't get in a rage, he got all cool and calm and said "Ok little girl, you like getting a spanking so much let me see how you like this one." And he threw me over his knee right there and yanked off my pants and panties and spanked me so hard with his belt that I was begging and in tears just like a little girl he accused me of being. (Yes I got spanked a little as a child, not much, i was a brat who wasn't disciplined much!) Anyway I sobbed, squirmed and screamed and he didn't relent until he had blistered my ass for the first time. After tit was over he held me while I cried as I calmed down and it felt good as he stroked my hair and told me that what i had done was wrong and that he wasn't going to put up with spoiled or childish behavior from a grown woman; that if I behaved like a child, he would treat me accordingly and spank me-Even in PUBLIC if the offense was bad enough, but wouldn't take my pants down of course. We discussed spanking as an erotic act and spanking as punishment. I like it when the 2 combine because it can make for the best sex ever! So sometimes i do shoot off my mouth or do something bad, like neglect something needing done to get a real punishment. (I don't know why i want to be punished so much) and other times it's fake bad behavior for foreplay. If we are doing it for foreplay he will spank me just as hard as a punishment but not always. he doesn't like to leave welts on me unless it's for being really, really bad but I ask him to do it harder sometimes. he never hits me above the neck or in the stomach but he has caned/paddled/spanked/strapped the bottom of my feet, my ass, my clitoris my thighs all over and my breasts. he wont leave marks too bad on the rest of me just my thighs and ass, and he only does the other areas as foreplay, punishment is butt and thighs only! I can't tolerate a reversal, there isn't anything wrong with sub men but that makes me not feel like they are 'man' enough for me. I need a decisive, take-charge, authoritarian man who puts me in 'my place'.

One of the things I NEVER do is disrespect him in front of friends or family. Well, almost never. That is the one thing I get the most shame and humiliation from. if i say something rude to or about him in front of fam or friends I get a bare-bottom spanking right then and there. Even in front of my relatives and our parents! So I make sure to be respectful when any of these people are around, or I'm mooning the whole family reunion with a rudolph-nose-red butt. All in all, I love being spanked for almost any reason and in almost any place with very few exceptions. the important thing is: The more humiliating/shameful my transgression, the harder/worse the punishment but also the better cuddle and make up time afterwards and that part is 100% private.

Embarrassed is good, it has 'bare-assed' in it! 😄

We live a DD lifestyle. The main reason I get into trouble is my attitude which leads to disrespect and my mouth never stopping. When I am disciplined, my husband explains to me why I am in trouble. I have to reflect upon this and then tell him why I am about to be disciplined and how I will try to behave and be a loving obedient wife. Then I take off my pants and panties, bend over the foot board of our bed kneeling on a stool with have there. I place a pillow by my head to bite so the noise is kept low. He makes sure my ass is high in the air so my back is not hit.He takes the three foot long wooden paddle from our closet or the wooden door threshold we keep under my side of the mattress, places it on my bare ass, and then begins to give me very hard swats across my ass. He gives me 10 then stops for a second or two. He asks me if I am ready and then it is another ten. We continue this until he feels I have earned the amount of swats I deserve, and he makes sure he moves spots so my entire ass is beet red when he is finished. I must then remain in the room, reflect some more, and then apologize. If I still have attitude, I am bent back over the bed for another session or two or three. Sometimes he just tells me to go to the room and prepare for my punishment. I have to get out the paddle or stick as told, drop my pants and bend and be ready when he comes into the room. Once in a while when I have deserved many swats he comes in, paddles me good, leaves the room and tells me to stay there and wait in that position then he comes back for the next session. The longest set of sessions like that I have gotten have been ten sessions of 20 swats each. My butt is usually left bright red and bruises the next day, but I deserve every one of them for being a non-loving, non-appreciative wife. It also helps me get over my guilt and is like a catharsis for me emotionally. We have been practicing DD for a little over the year, and I my paddlings are less but stil too many. I hope to learn to give up control soon for my bare ass's sake.

I spanked my girl friend and then later I made her spank me. It took a little time to make her into a good spanker. She had alway been a good spankee but not a good spanker.

My husband is provoked by disobedience and sarcasm. Simply put, if I don't obey the house rules (he earns the money. I take care of all household chores and errands) I get spanked. The house rules are: 1) do not talk back.... EVER. 2) do not be disrespectful to him or his family or friends. 3) keep house immaculate. 4) run errands in a timely fashion. 5) cook. If I answer a question in a sarcastic tone I am also punished. My last punishment was last week.... I answered back at a family gathering AND rolled my eyes when his mom asked me a question..... Without hesitation and in front of everyone he pulled down my skirt and swatted my bare ass 50 times. Needless to say we left and I got 200 more when we got home (100 swats on all fours, naked, ass up, head down legs spread, another 50 on my back with my knees at my chest and 50 on my clit!). Then to embarrass me further and to make me learn my lesson, his mother came over the next day to punish me. I had to strip down in from of her, put my hands on my head, apologize to her and ask her to punish me (which she gladly did.... She never really liked me). My husband told her she could give me 100 swats and she could pick the position.... She embarrassed me further by having me get on the table on all fours , head down ass up legs spread . When it was all over I had to apologize again and serve corner time (naked) for 30 minutes. I haven't seen her since but her and my father in law are coming to dinner tonight. You can bet I'll be on my best behavior.

I'm a spanked wife for punishments and reminders that hes the HOH of our home...We have been married for over 5 years and it started about 4 years ago. I love being a submissive wife its what I want and need...I did not have many if any rules growing up and was never spanked just spoiled rotten...I find it has taken that spoiledness out of me and has made me a better person not so much of a bitch anymore.

My husband spanks me when i disobey or am being disrespetfull. I have to bring a belt and then lie down on the bed. When he thinks i wanted to disobey he is very strict with me.

I am a wife of 7 years and I get spanked for punishment and fun. I do all the cleaning around the house, make sure all the meals are done and work a full time job.If something is not cleaned to his standards I get punished. I never know what it is going to be, belt, hairbrush or paddle. I never know what position, if he is really mad I have to lay on my back legs in the air. He then holds my legs back and spanks me with a wood paddle. I have been spanked one time in front of a good friend. My husband was really upset with me because the food was not done in time. My husband spanked me bare bottom with his hand over his knees at least 35 min. I was very embarrassed and received more later that night. I was not spanked as a child and the first time I was spanked was right before I married my husband by him. The other night I did not get something done right, I was told to stand against the wall bare bottom and spanked with the belt until I was red. Most the time I like it and it leads to great sex.

I give my wife a gentle but affirmative spanking as part of our foreplay, especially when she lowers her (usually white cotton) panties and reveals staining, from any of her intimate sources.

I start by paddling her buttocks with the cotton fabric in place, progress by rolling the panties down to underneatyh her buttock cleavage, them to knee point and finally having her hold them in fromt of her with the gusset panel turned inside-out and her explaining what the stains are from and how they got there.

I've never spanked a spouse but I recently spanked a nude model during a photo shoot. It's was hot. She took her spanking without protest or wiggle and I blistered her soft ass into a bright crimson. Then nice photos followed. We are supposed to get together again soon for more spanking. Funny, she didn't mention anything about photography.

I get spanked lightly by my husband if I ask him, no more then a bit of reddening. He is not a man with a high sexdrive unfortunately. We have been married 13 years and have had sex between 40 and 50 times in a generous estimation.

I liked to spank my girlfriends and one ex-wife. It was always foreplay for sex and never as discipline. I always used just a hand and never hit very hard. It was always bare bottom though. The sight of her bare bottom and pussy quickly led me to want her sitting on my face.

I was spanked a lot as a child by my mother aunt older sister grandmother and close neighbour ive been married for a little less than a year and he spanks me for pleasure and punishment we have set rules i have to follow and if i break one of them i get a spanking he works longer than me so i do the chores make sure things are clean and food is ready i mainly get spanked for my bad attitude which has always been a problem for me its not that as soon as we argue i get spanked he listens and sometimes i win but if im being rude and or unreasonable thats when i have to kneel on the couch and wait for the belt paddle strap or switch to turn my ass red and make me cry

In our house my wife is the one that does all the spanking. She is bigger and stronger than I and has no trouble stripping me and turning me over her knee whenever she thinks I need a spanking. Even when good I have learned to expect at least 3 spankings a year, my birthday, her birthday and our anniversary. It started on our wedding night and has been going on for 30 years.

It's abuse and if your husband is spanking you as a punishment and telling you to get on the bed and spanking you with a belt, or whatever until you are beat red-That is Physical Abuse and Domestic Violence and he can be arrested for that.

If your husband is doing it in front of your friend, that is emotional abuse

It's one thing to Spank a child with your hand only, but it's another to Spank your wife. I hope that your children are not enduring that type of abuse, which there's no doubt in my mind that they are suffering as well.

Ladies if your husband is Spanking you just because you did not get some-thing done on time, while he is at work, he does not know what goes on, and there's about a hundred things that could happen or go wrong. You should never be afraid of your husband. This makes me hesitate about calling my friends because I don't want to be the cause of them getting punished by their husbands. I hope you step it up and turn your man into the authorities, and are brave, because that is horrible that he does that to you and I'm sorry that he does that to you, he needs to be taught a lesson and punished by the law for it.

We're not really into BDSM, but he does like to spank me if I've been naughty! I do like submitting. I do get spanked in front of friends we play with, and it is even hotter when he does that!

Once upon a time when I was younger and totally immature, I suggested to my husband that maybe I might get a tattoo. He almost went ballistic saying that not only I would be completely nuts to do it, but that if I ever brought it up again, that he would take me over his knee and spank me long and hard until my bottom was bright red. I had heard that a good spanking lead to good sex so I brought it up again about a week later. And sure enough, I got the spanking of my life and I must say the greatest sex that we have ever had together. Now when ever I feel in the mood, I bring up tattoo thing again (my husband knows I have absolutely no intention of getting one) and I will get the spanking I am craving....well really both the spanking and the greatest sex. He sometimes gets spanked as well, but I am the one mostly on the receiving end. Our kink is totally consensual and non-abusive on either of our parts. We also have a safe word if it starts to be too much which we either one has yet to use. I can see his arousal whenever the thought of me getting spanked by him comes up.

@Melle said

It's abuse and if your husband is spanking you as a punishment and telling you to get on the bed and spanking you with a belt, or whatever until you are beat red-That is Physical Abuse and Domestic Violence and he can be arrested for that.

If your husband is doing it in front of your friend, that is emotional abuse

It's one thing to Spank a child with your hand only, but it's another to Spank your wife. I hope that your children are not enduring that type of abuse, which there's no doubt in my mind that they are suffering as well.

Ladies if your husband is Spanking you just because you did not get some-thing done on time, while he is at work, he does not know what goes on, and there's about a hundred things that could happen or go wrong. You should never be afraid of your husband. This makes me hesitate about calling my friends because I don't want to be the cause of them getting punished by their husbands. I hope you step it up and turn your man into the authorities, and are brave, because that is horrible that he does that to you and I'm sorry that he does that to you, he needs to be taught a lesson and punished by the law for it.

You don't understand.

This is an S&M site.

Spanking happens for many reasons and it isn't abuse.

Spankings are definitely sexual foreplay for my partner & I. He uses a couple of different paddles, floggers, and a crop. Yes, my ass is usually bruised, but it is arousing for both of us. In the vanilla world, we share all domestic tasks. In fact, he is a wonderful cook. We are both successful professionals. If you feel spankings are abuse, then don't participate in that type of activity. We enjoy our S&M sex life and I have no desire to change. Hell, it took me years to find the right dominant partner ! I plan to enjoy it as long as we both can.

Procrastination or breaking an agreement is not dealt with lightly, and I am hardly sitting well today as my behind got an unpleasant meeting with hubbies belt last night. Broke the same agreement twice in a day, plus not having resolved a matter I should have done several weeks ago = on very sorry, very sore butt! I'll be sure to keep my agreements and not delay matters from now on. *Ouch*

I don't understand that people still let themselves be hit, spanked, physically punished or abused for failing to do what someone else wants done. If it's sex play, that is something entirely different. No problem there. Otherwise though?

If a husband hits a wife because of chores undone, or talking back or whatever other reason he thinks up, then as far as I would be concerned, the relationship is over and done. Walk out and away. People should not hit people, husbands certainly not their wives. Even in the military, physical punishments are strictly forbidden. Officers do not get to hit an enlisted man without there being serious repercussions. Why should it be any different in a marriage or relationship?

And in countries like the US, with so many readily available firearms, you'd think abusive husbands would not sleep easily at night for fear of retribution.

Well, I can only speak for myself, but I'm the one who requested this kind of lifestyle, and thrive in it. My butt may be sore, but at the same time I'm soaring 😜 May be difficult to understand (I've hardly been able to myself). My husband would never spank me without my consent, and I can speak with him about that when I'd like to. He's far from a monster - loving, caring, and helps me get rid of some bad habits (like staying on the computer severals days instead of keeping the house at all or studying while he's been at work for long hours). It does wonders for our marriage and our sex-life, and I wouldn't have it any other way, how ever sorry my butt might be at the moment 😉 😃 It resolves a lot of conflict issues that earlier could have ended up in days of arguing, moods, etc. Now things are handled quite easily 😉 😃 But the important part to notice is - consent. 😃 If there's no consent, there should be no spanking, hitting, forcing or violence of any kind.

I am a very strong willed woman, used to getting my way and extremely stubborn, most often too stubborn for my own good. I am for the most part a feminist but I do have some old fashioned beliefs too. It took me a long time to wrap my head around me craving to be spanked. For me its not just a sexual turn on, it's more of feeling of being cared for, looked after, and loved. That's the part that was hard for me to accept and not feel guilty about.

How can a woman of today want to be dragged over the knee, have her bottom bared, held down, get her ass slapped til its beet red, and she is bawling her eyes out ? Kinda sounds insane when put that way. But there is far more to it. First as Torie pointed out its consent and its an agreement between two partners. Delve into the DD lifestyle and you will learn it is so much more, more than I could write about and more than I know for that matter. A DD relationship can differ for every couple as different needs and wants are different with every person.

For me I need that strong, confident man that can nurture me, guide me, love me, care for me and yes, punish me when I need it. By need it I mean when I screw up, just because I felt like (I do on occasion like being a brat), when I am being too stubborn to do what I need to do. I need consequences for my actions otherwise I can spiral out of control. Basicly I need and long to be tamed. To feel that someone loves and cares for me enough to do what is best for me.

I often say I am quite a handful and it would take a real strong man, and even more stubborn than I am to handle me.

Maybe someday 😉

I literally ask my husband to spank me, and it as a part of foreplay, he does what I ask. Pain properly applied in the act of sex is very stimulating to me; in this case. Quite frankly, I get off on it. It is definitely NOT abuse.

It’s not abuse if I like it.

Hiding his enema bag😃

Peace.

Caz.

I’m in my 50s and have been with my husband for 10 years. Our spankings are usually foreplay but occasionally he’ll notice me exhibiting mild signs of depression and will set up a scene that usually involves protracted spanking/flogging. It almost always works to being me back. We don’t use them for punishment.

It appears that a separate thread on spanking partners that we were posting to today and yesterday has been deleted. I've not received any notification and I'm unaware of the reasons, but if my comments or questions were responsible for it's demise, I'd appreciate a moderator letting me know. As spanking is not a major kink for me, I always find the discussions about motivations for spanking very interesting. Thank you,

Eric

It appears that a separate thread on spanking partners that we were posting to today and yesterday has been deleted. I've not received any notification and I'm unaware of the reasons, but if my comments or questions were responsible for it's demise, I'd appreciate a moderator letting me know. As spanking is not a major kink for me, I always find the discussions about motivations for spanking very interesting. Thank you,

@ericmacson - I removed a series of posts from this thread four hours ago, and you can be assured that your comments weren't the reason.

@ericmacson - I removed a series of posts from this thread four hours ago, and you can be assured that your comments weren't the reason.

DrZ,

Thanks for the answer. If it's not privileged or too sensitive, any clue about problems the thread had so we can avoid them in the future? Thanks,

Eric

I am a brat that like to provoke and challenge authorities.

My husband is a nice and strict man who will put me in my place when needed.

I get punishment spanking and maintenance spanking. For punishment spanking I get it on the day that I committed the crime. It usually starts with otk hand spanking and hairbrush and if it is serious follow by the cane. This is to ensure that I don’t do it again. I can another spanking during bedtime spanking or a morning spanking as a reminder usually I will not be able to sit down for a week.

My maintenance spanking is on Friday evening usually after dinner. After washing up the plates. I have to go and take a bath so that I am clean and fresh for my spanking. I have to change to my spanking dress that he lay out on the bed. It can be a little girl dress or gym clothes. I am expected to wait for him to come in to give me my maintenance spanking.

When he is in the room I will ask him to spank me so that I will behave through out the week. Then I would be over her knee with panties down and the spanking starts it will only stop when my bottom is red and sore. I always get aftercare which I love as he shown that he loves me. I love to look at the mirror at my red bottom and rubbing it.