Telling others and embarrassment and or shame

I spent most of my life being self-conscious and embarrassed by my strong need for spankings and enemas.

I thought it would be a good thing to talk about here because it feels like a safe environment and it might help you and it might help me.

I lived through the era where everyone got enemas. That coincided with everybody getting spankings. My playmates and I used to talk about spanking and even built a paddle with me out of a board. My parents knew we were doing this and my mother knew I liked things inserted. We didn't talk about enemas.

Today, I don't have any kind of problem telling people because I frame it in a healthcare way (which is the truth) but not "the whole truth".

But I read post after post here of people who have either thrown their material and equipment out for fear of their spouse, discovering or perhaps more likely, their own guilt and resolved to quit. I've talked to a lot of people like that. Fortunately, one of my therapist assured me that there was nothing to be ashamed of, and grabbed my wife up by the lapel and told her there was nothing wrong and for her to leave me alone about it. Unfortunately, she didn't realize how much my wife used to love this and then abruptly stopped. But in any event, I didn't believe there was anything wrong with me

The woman who created the word klismophila was named Dr. Danko. She was a psychiatrist and saw a man who was a new patient and confessed being obsessed with enemas. He was really afraid that his wife might find out he had visited her and he paid in cash and wouldn't give her his real name.Her advice to him was to accept himself. She didn't know what became of him because he didn't give her his real name. But she did get the encounter published in a medical journal.. You would think that this would be enough to change our own feelings of guilt and shame, but from reading here, we are all still having difficulty at times.

I wonder how many of us have sought counseling to discuss our need for enemas and spankings. I suspect the therapy varies widely with who you go to, but I'd be interested in knowing if there's anything we can do to support each other. And of course, if there's anything I could say that might help you.

Definitely agree with your first sentence. I felt the same shame you did, which is why I find this place so comforting and honest.

We have a similar history . Enemas were familiar and as I left my teens always an interest in my dating. At 28 married an understanding mate. My successful career began with her. She fixed my enemas and she occasionally indulged but more out of necessity. We always had a JBL bag which she preferred. We traveled the world and never left home without our enema bag.

But I harbored (silently) guilt about it. About 30 years ago I sought psychiatric help for depression and anger issues, both almost immediately and successfully diagnosed and dealt with to this day. I also shared my enema, for want of a better word, guilt. She immediately put it to rest, and to this day we talk of it as a normal thing. She even, when I joked about it wrote an actual prescription detailing amount, frequency and soap, or not, to be used . My dear wife of 46 years passed in 2010. She prepared the enemas then. Of course now I do except when my cleaning lady comes by every 2 weeks sh fills my enema bags following my Dr’s prescription.! II still talk to my psychiatrist twice a week.

She keeps me young and guilt free.

gdfru