Telling others - embarrassment and/or shame

I spent most of my life being self-conscious and embarrassed by my strong need for spankings and enemas.

I thought it would be a good thing to talk about here because it feels like a safe environment and it might help you and it might help me.

I lived through the era where everyone got enemas. That coincided with everybody getting spankings. My playmates and I used to talk about spanking and even built a paddle with me out of a board. My parents knew we were doing this and my mother knew I liked things inserted. We didn't talk about enemas.

Today, I don't have any kind of problem telling people because I frame it in a healthcare way (which is the truth) but not "the whole truth".

But I read post after post here of people who have either thrown their material and equipment out for fear of their spouse, discovering or perhaps more likely, their own guilt and resolved to quit. I've talked to a lot of people like that. Fortunately, one of my therapist assured me that there was nothing to be ashamed of, and grabbed my wife up by the lapel and told her there was nothing wrong and for her to leave me alone about it. Unfortunately, she didn't realize how much my wife used to love this and then abruptly stopped. But in any event, I didn't believe there was anything wrong with me

The woman who created the word klismophila was named Dr. Danko. She was a psychiatrist and saw a man who was a new patient and confessed being obsessed with enemas. He was really afraid that his wife might find out he had visited her and he paid in cash and wouldn't give her his real name.Her advice to him was to accept himself. She didn't know what became of him because he didn't give her his real name. But she did get the encounter published in a medical journal.. You would think that this would be enough to change our own feelings of guilt and shame, but from reading here, we are all still having difficulty at times.

I wonder how many of us have sought counseling to discuss our need for enemas and spankings. I suspect the therapy varies widely with who you go to, but I'd be interested in knowing if there's anything we can do to support each other. And of course, if there's anything I could say that might help you.

Definitely agree with your first sentence. I felt the same shame you did, which is why I find this place so comforting and honest.

We have a similar history . Enemas were familiar and as I left my teens always an interest in my dating. At 28 married an understanding mate. My successful career began with her. She fixed my enemas and she occasionally indulged but more out of necessity. We always had a JBL bag which she preferred. We traveled the world and never left home without our enema bag.

But I harbored (silently) guilt about it. About 30 years ago I sought psychiatric help for depression and anger issues, both almost immediately and successfully diagnosed and dealt with to this day. I also shared my enema, for want of a better word, guilt. She immediately put it to rest, and to this day we talk of it as a normal thing. She even, when I joked about it wrote an actual prescription detailing amount, frequency and soap, or not, to be used . My dear wife of 46 years passed in 2010. She prepared the enemas then. Of course now I do except when my cleaning lady comes by every 2 weeks sh fills my enema bags following my Dr’s prescription.! II still talk to my psychiatrist twice a week.

She keeps me young and guilt free.

gdfru

Hello,

Guys, honestly, what should anyone be ashamed of? Shame is a feeling, an emotion that practically everyone knows or should know. The social and cultural environment, upbringing, peer influence, peer pressure, norms set by others and even religion play an important role in this during each individual's development. In this way, a significant influence is exerted on the self-esteem of each individual, both positive and negative.

Shame shouldn't be confused with guilt. That's a completely different matter.

In another topic, people are discussing the taboo surrounding enemas. They don't talk about it, they don't want to admit that they receive enemas from their mother, whether regularly or only occasionally. Here, too, feelings of shame play a role.

Should my darling and I be ashamed because, despite our age, we still have sex like crazy, that we give each other enemas, that my lady uses strap-ons on me? When I think about how many of our friends and acquaintances sleep in separate bedrooms, we feel a sense of contentment and happiness. Our small and large sexual depravities stay within our own four walls. And if someone happens to notice the forgotten enema bag in the bathroom or guest toilet, I couldn't care less. Then they'll just have something to talk about on the way home.

It's great to be able to exchange ideas with like-minded people here. It shows that you're not alone with your kinky desires on this planet, and you actually learn something new. I'm just imagining chatting with my neighbor about our shenanigans over the garden fence... no, I'd better not. He'd build a high wall along our property line and block out my sunshine...

Take care

Who is to say what you and your s/o do is “ depravity”?

Very good post.

For me, there is no shame or guilt. That implies doing something wrong and there is nothing wrong with giving myself an enema.

Embarrassment is another thing. I was never embarrassed if anyone else in my family knew that I got an enema. Or even my close friends. Enemas were quite common in those days. However, it would be embarrassing if they knew that I liked getting an enema, and I was giving myself enemas just for fun.

Even today as an older person it would not be unusual to need an enema from time to time for constipation since it is common for older people. But I would be embarrassed for anyone to find out that I was not constipated and I took multiple enemas last week just because I wanted to do it.

I agree with the comments made by RedBulb99.

There is no embarrassment admitting to receiving an enema or giving yourself an enema. The embarrassment comes from the fact that you like getting those enemas and how often you do it when there is no medical reason for those enemas.

Best reason to take an enema is just for fun!!!!!!

I always felt embarrassed about my chronic constipation and my enema regime. Then my beloved colon hydrotherapist suggested that I should talk to my doctor. She, my colon hydrotherapist, even suggested that I should have a Defecography examination. Feeling incredibly ashamed I went to see my doctor and in her office there was another lady, a trainee doctor. Anyway my doctor proved to be totally understanding and really supportive. Oh my goodness!!

I don't mind family knowing i keep an enema routine. But will never discuss the level of fun and comfort i get each and every time i play the waters up my butt and flood my colon, making my belly bigged. (not just big) Bigged includes the entire activity.

Growing up in the 50s I spent most of my younger years on Grandpap's farm in WV. My older sister Tess and I both enjoyed enemas and from 5 years old we treated each other as we grew up. We had two younger sisters that hated them. I was never embarrassed about getting an enema even when everyone in the house knew I was getting one, I was actually excited. Tess and I talked a lot about enemas as we played together, but I know that Diane and Robin our two younger sisters seemed to be upset when they got enemas when knowing that Tess or I knew about it. Robin and Diane would complain to mom that one of us was laughing or teasing them getting an enema. We were even threatened with "If you find enemas so interesting maybe you would like one too". Unfortunately, mom never carried out that threat.

One time Diane was arguing with mom about needing an enema and Tess said "it's only an enema get over it". Diane snapped back "It's easy for you to say, it's not going in YOUR butt"! Tess said that she still smiles when she thinks about that.

So embarrassment or shame, no, excitement yes, I only joined conversations with sisters or cousins when the subject came up usually while playing Monopoly and something was said about the "Water Works" which always triggered snickers or comments, but I'm sure Diane and Robin were embarrassed knowing that others knew that they were about to get an enema, just got one or were going to get one. Tess did talk openly with some of her friends about getting enemas, She never told me if they knew if she liked them.

Shame, embarrassment? Not me, nor anyone of my family or friends. They all know I rather take an enema instead of a pill, also my wife used to tell her friends how good that was... Bag is hanging in the bathroom, as a reminder. Sometime it even becomes a conversation point. Well, they do not know I mostly do it for fun, that is only for the few initiate of my inner circle. It actually enticed a new friend I met at one of the munches about a couple years ago and I had over for dinner, to ask me about it and ended with her getting one with one of her best orgasms...she said.... of course she offered to give me one too... since then we do it every couple of months and we have expanded our play...