What is vanilla sex ?

I would say most on Zity.biz are not "vanilla" and that biases their view of sex. The whole fetish/kink interest that has drawn us all here taints their opinion. I wouldn't say that gives us a clear view of what others think or feel as "vanilla". We've had this fetish/kink in our sex lives for long enough it has become normal. Sex just isn't the same without some of it involved in the experience.

My view of vanilla sex is missionary, doggy style, and spooning sex. Anything else could start down the "deviant" road of sexual experiences. That is just my view. Not saying some "vanilla" people do not add anal sex or oral sex to their normal sexual activities. Or that they do play with vibrators or simple toys.

Now, if you go that deep, I say to you: there is Real Vanilla and Vanillin sex.

Real vanilla is made from vanilla beans that have been soaked in alcohol to create vanilla extract. That skinny, glossy, dark brown vanilla bean is the cured seed pod of an orchid.

Imitation vanilla is made from vanillin (the primary flavor component of vanilla). Vanillin is manufactured from a substance called guaiacol. Most of the world’s guaiacol supply comes from petroleum.

So how about "real vanilla" being wedding night sex experience with bridal lingerie, allu ing makeup while vanillin is what a guy gets when he gets lucky 5 years later? And seing it's made from petroleum, there is risk of headaches, being indisposed...

Joking of course... Or am I?

(Hint: most women get bored with their partner's performance in the sack long before the guy gets the memo).

I would define Vanilla Sex as sex without outside stimuli like vibrators butt plugs etc. I am not including sexy linguine scented candle strobe lights music even alcohol taken orally etc. as outside stimuli Furthermore I would include oral in the realm of Vanilla Sex but not anal. Some might call me old-fashion but I graduated from both high school and college (Undergrad) in the '70s so you have to consider my age.

@ddell2: Some might call me old-fashion but I graduated from both high school and college (Undergrad) in the '70s so you have to consider my age.

I'm afraid I'm of the same era. To define vanilla I'm going to say that both vaginal and oral sex probably fit that description. My husband and I don't do anal although we did try it and didn't much care for it. As for sexual toys, I do have a dildo and a vibe, but not sure that they are vanilla. As for enemas as foreplay, I don't think of that as vanilla either. Conversely, do I think of myself as kinky? Probably not. I don't know what to think anymore.

This is a great and revealing question. I think everyone will have a different answer based on their personality, sexuality, age, upbringing and cultural background. For me, anything that's "vanilla" doesn't include some kind of kink or fetishistic element or a power play element. But I tend to think that a lot of 'vanilla' sex people have can be a lot more psychosexually charged and violent than what some kink practitioners do...

I would define Vanilla Sex as sex without outside stimuli like vibrators butt plugs etc.

What’s vanilla to one is chocolate to another. . I wouldn’t necessarily consider use of reasonable sized vibrators or buttplugs being kinky or non-vanilla. One can argue what “resonable” is and there would be lots of variances in where you draw the line between vanilla and kinky.

I may be in the minority regarding what is considered to be vanilla sex. I have always thought vanilla was just that....plain sex where the intended poles and holes go in the right places for procreation. Thus vanilla means to me no anal, no oral, no anything else. I guess I guess I must be kinky in a number of ways!! lol....Denise

@Denise Is contraception acceptable?

Back in the day, boy on top girl on bottom, no oral, no anal, maybe a tongue in a kiss.

Plain vanilla. No nuts no sauces, no sprinkles.

Answer for Jacana's question. Contraception is an individual's personal decsion and/or their religioius beliefs. Some religions think it wrong. Personally, I had very good experience by carefully using the termperature monitioring cycle (rectal is the most accurate) on a daily basis each morning before getting up. We have four grown daughters and no unplanned children. We have used regular contraceptives (condoms) on a number of occassions when we were not sure of my cycle.

The short answer is I think using contraceptives is still vanilla sex but again that is just my opinion.

.

I think of vanilla sex as missionary position with no extras, no oral, no anal, no kinks.

Mind you, vanilla is still an excellent flavor in ice cream and milk shakes.

For me, I like variety. Vanilla is great, but I also like chocolate, strawberry, Salted Caramel Truffle, Hot Fudge Brownie, Cookies and Cream, Peaches and Cream, Mint Chocolate Chip, Double Cookie Crumble, Butter Pecan, Rocky Road, New York Style Cheesecake, Cherry Vanilla, and a whole bunch more.

.

Boring and without imagination. It reminds me of someone who would go to a fancy restaurant, and order a tuna sandwich, with a glass of water,

A funny story related to vanilla. Probably 25 years ago my husband had a business trip to San Francisco and met two other guys from the company for dinner. Afterwards someone had the idea of going to Ghiridelli's for ice cream. The other two ordered chocolate, but my husband had vanilla. He was the topic of jokes months after.

Back in the day, boy on top girl on bottom, no oral, no anal, maybe a tongue in a kiss.

@Unknown_Jerome : My father told me - back when I was a teenager - that for their generation seeing a lady's unclad ankle was erotic. Their imagination filled the gap. Seeing a woman in lingerie caused more than one premature ejaculation (and lingerie was seriously expensive, lace was the stuff of dreams for many a woman).

Times move on. Mores ebb and flow. The beauty and allure of the woman body is indisputable but today it's so prevalent that we hardly notice.

How many of you went to a Burlesque show last year? Follies bergere? Crazy horse? Cabaret? It was risque back then, bringing a lady meant a very adventurous couple.

Today? We bring our kids and have a laugh after a movie with some level of nudity. Our teenagers probably know of gay colleagues and hardly bat an eye. I wonder what vanilla is for the next generation.

It would appear from the discussion that vanilla sex is basically undefined. Perhaps anything that is not kinky is vanilla or vanilla is whatever is on the opposite side of a very broad spectrum from kinky. But what then is kinky?

@hackjuan reminds me of a storybook my kids had years ago about a rabbit who liked to do things differently from all the other rabbits - can't quite remember it all but the final page was the sage thought "normal is whatever you are"

A funny story related to vanilla. Probably 25 years ago my husband had a business trip to San Francisco and met two other guys from the company for dinner. Afterwards someone had the idea of going to Ghiridelli's for ice cream. The other two ordered chocolate, but my husband had vanilla. He was the topic of jokes months after.

For sure a nice story !! - so let us all be very careful, by ordering icecream in those shop's !!

It would appear from the discussion that vanilla sex is basically undefined. Perhaps anything that is not kinky is vanilla or vanilla is whatever is on the opposite side of a very broad spectrum from kinky. But what then is kinky?

Being tickled with a feather during sex isn’t kinky. Now if you use the whole chicken…

Old joke.

@Xperience Folies bergère or Moulin rouge sound to me like the kind of place wealthy Chinese businesspeople would come to on a trip to Paris.

Vanilla sex is what majority of adults engage in, or would, if they had opportunity. Oral sex is definitely vanilla. Anal. while getting more popular is still not vanilla, as more than 50% of women never tried it, and only about 20% do it 'regularly', meaning at least once a year. This may change in next 30 years.

Obviously for homosexual males anal is vanilla.

Vanilla sex is sociological concept rather than a formal scientific categorisation and depends on societal trends. And this is not only one way process, 'norms' can relax and equally get more prude.

In France, "vanilla sex" is a term often used by libertines to refer to those who are not libertines, preferring sex only within the intimacy of their couple.

@Jacana

Folies bergère or Moulin rouge sound to me like the kind of place wealthy Chinese businesspeople would come to on a trip to Paris.

Today yes; and don't forget other tourists attracted by the legacy created a century ago they hope still lives on today. Frankly, I loved Paris a lot more some 35 years ago (when I first visited) than later on when I worked there. We were awed by Montmartre, lined up in the queue, bought the tickets (and the 1/2 bottle of bubbly) and I was disappointed by the "modern" choreography and touristy vibe. I came in hoping to find the American depiction of the Belle Epoque and found what I think was uninspired innovation.

Thank you for supporting my point though 😊 : What worked for a generation can be meh for the next.

@Latex66 A friend of mine into BDSM called vanille those who weren't.

In a word... boring

Hi,

Everyone sits on a different summit in a valley surrounded by mountains and is asked to describe it. I'm sure the descriptions will vary greatly due to the different perspectives. The valley itself probably couldn't care less.

To return to the original question, allow me a few counter-questions:

Isn't it unfair to someone who considers what Mother Nature provides to be sufficient? And aren't we all a little vanilla?

According to some, I must count myself among those to whom the initial question refers.

We own a well-stocked toy store, including countless enema equipment. However, that doesn't mean we use these things in every sexual encounter.

If we're really lusting after each other, then we'll have hot sex in the classic way, too. I find it hard to imagine that paddles, bulbs, bags, plugs, dildos, etc., would be used in every sexual activity. But variety is key.

Hi,

Everyone sits on a different summit in a valley surrounded by mountains and is asked to describe it. I'm sure the descriptions will vary greatly due to the different perspectives. The valley itself probably couldn't care less.

To return to the original question, allow me a few counter-questions:

Isn't it unfair to someone who considers what Mother Nature provides to be sufficient? And aren't we all a little vanilla?

According to some, I must count myself among those to whom the initial question refers.

We own a well-stocked toy store, including countless enema equipment. However, that doesn't mean we use these things in every sexual encounter.

f we're really lusting after each other, then we'll have hot sex in the classic way, too. I find it hard to imagine that paddles, bulbs, bags, plugs, dildos, etc., would be used in every sexual activity. But variety is key.

Well, a very nice and also readable Interpretation !! - many thanks for posting it !!

@Nurse_Phillips According to my upbringing sex was ALL kinky, forbidden, and I'm pretty sure my mother listened to every preacher, news cast, news paper article, anything that prohibited having fun. I was brought up to understand that the act of Sex was a communist plot to win the cold war against the freedom we had in America and Nikita Khruschev had said he was going to overthrow Our Government without firing a shot, by the Advent of sex and atheism. That being drilled into me through my upbringing led me to understand that sex, even missionary style was evil and even the "missionaries" we were sending to (the Congo or wherever) were NOT having sex. So when I got my first shot of pussy (which was missionary style,) I knew that I had already taken the step to denounce my country and embrace the ungodly evils of communism! (I had also been guilty of playing with my sex organ, which was not to be used for sex, but only to pee through).........

SO, finding myself a sexual deviant, Hell bound and communist party member, with nothing to lose by having sex and being an atheist, I embraced both evils and even started having sex dogy style on occasion. Every form of sex is "un-vanilla" if I'm to live my upbringing. I was on my third wife before I actually learned to be the sexual freak I am now. I Think everything is vanilla sex if everyone lives through it.

I DID have a ceiling fan fall on me(and she) during a mutual orgasm with a hair dresser friend of mine, but we both lived through it so no harm no foul........nothing to see here, move along........just more vanilla sex.

Heterosexual intercourse, missionary style, solely for procreative purposes.

Let's forget the argument about reproduction for a moment;

...and what about the rest, if that's enough for some?

My interpretation of tolerance:

People who think and are different are respected without me having to share their point of view.