Pain you want in stories or irl

First off, just noting that there's a huge difference between pain you want in an irl play exam and pain you want in a story.

That said, weather it is in stories or in real life, what painful procedures do you want to have performed?

I'm asking this because:

* I want to improve my writing and stories

* I want to learn how far women would want to take pain irl

Please be detailed and highly descriptive 😃

I think my own stories make that pretty obvious.

What I like in a story is more extreme than what I want to experience for real, but both have hard boundaries. No burns, cuts, or blood bruises. Nothing that causes any lasting damage or pain that lingers more than a half a day, tops. Nothing that makes a person scream or shout in pain. In fiction, tears are okay, but in reality, not. Everything follows the standard SSC rule--safe, sane, consensual.

The best way to write pain is the same as the best way to write sex--and pretty much everything else. Get deep inside the point of view (POV) of the character, so that you know not just what's happening to their body but how it feels, what they're thinking, what's happening emotionally, whether it triggers any memories or hopes or fears or disgust, like that. You want your reader to share the POV character's mind, not just their body.

Getting into deep POV is huge. Examples just off the cuff:

Shallow POV:

Jeffrey decided he would spank Susan when she got home from her job as a librarian. "You better not!" she said. But he grabbed her by the waist and put her across his lap and spanked her until she cried. Afterward she was mad even though he kissed where he'd spanked.

What's wrong with this? Well, we don't share what either of the two characters is thinking beyond Jeffrey's decision. It's fairly uninvolving. It also tells instead of shows, which is a whole other weakness.

Deeper POV

Susan was late coming home from the library; the check-out desk was swamped because Marnie was taking one of her endless bathroom breaks.

"There you are," Jeffrey said. "You're so late you get a spanking."

What the hell? "You better not." Susan was in no mood for Jeffrey's kink. She was tired and wanted a martini, not a spanking.

As usual, Jeffrey didn't care. He grabbed her by the waist. Fighting him was pointless; he was a big man who wouldn't stop until he got her across his lap.

Moments later she lay over legs thick as tree trunks. As the first swats landed on her skirt, Susan vowed she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of protesting or trying to get away. She lay limp, accepting, even though near the end she cried not in pain but from frustration.

Of course Jeffrey wanted sex afterward. He kissed her tender buttocks. She endured it, just as she had the spanking. Tomorrow, she told herself. Tomorrow, once he left for work, she'd call in sick so she could pack up her things. Marnie would let her stay over for a few weeks.

Longer, yes, but Susan has some personality, a lot going on in her head while the physical scene is playing out. Of course it doesn't has to be that the POV character doesn't like it. I could have made her love it so much she pushes Jeffrey to go further than he wants to. But either way, she's far more than a cardboard cutout existing only to be spanked.

The best way to write pain is the same as the best way to write sex--and pretty much everything else. Get deep inside the point of view (POV) of the character, so that you know not just what's happening to their body but how it feels, what they're thinking, what's happening emotionally, whether it triggers any memories or hopes or fears or disgust, like that. You want your reader to share the POV character's mind, not just their body.

…

But either way, she's far more than a cardboard cutout existing only to be spanked.

@PinotNoir good tutorial on captive writing! I’m not a good writer and I appreciate insights like yours; gives me some concrete concepts to aspire to! Your example really highlights the impact how a little thought/perspective can make a dull story or even real life depiction more realistic and interesting. Too often when having a conversation, or telling a story we focus on our perspective, not others involved.

It's hard to keep my own self out of the story, especially when the character shares any of my traits or interests. (And don't they all, a little bit?) By making myself get into deep POV, I reach a point where I can think like that character rather than myself, know what they'll do or how they'll react to something, all that. It's pretty cool when it happens.

It's also a good bit of effort to get there.

I think in stories it's important, like PinotNoir said, for the pain to be specific and based in the interior lives and feelings of your character/you. For me there's basically two kinds of pain that exist in a story: there's the sensation of it, and there's the psychic pain. In a story I really prefer both to be present, but this changes from person to person. For example, maybe a character receives some kind of painful swab. There's plenty of ways to describe the physical pain of the swab: the administration can be rough and twirling, it can be inserted past the point of comfort, it's coarse on sensitive membranes. But there can also be a psychic pain element: maybe the swab can be used to test for a piece of information that can be potentially ruinous for your character. Alternatively the swab can be a way for a breeding program to test genetic data and find a potential match for forced insemination. For me it's better for there to be both elements, but a lot of people prefer one or the other, for example stories of masochists who achieve mental ecstasy from being flogged or whipped; or alternatively, fantasies of humiliation are all mental. There's also stories where the person who receives the pain is an unwilling participant, fully ignorant to the world of masochism, and the other where they are seeking it out. In my opinion, when writing erotica, I think it is best to identify what it is about this scenario or this type of pain that you find titillating, and do your best to describe it using as specific language as possible.

There’s the issue of going too detailed as well. Keep it a little vague and let your reader’s imagination fill in the blanks “she gasped in pain as the rough swab abraded her delicate tissue. Blinking back tears, the sting faded but her anxiety rose as she contemplated what was next.”

Do you really need to fill in every sensation?

You're right, Nurse Phillips, being concise is always the key to good writing.

@crowntuner -- I would appreciate a story line with less needles. There is still a way to be a dominant doctor and having no concern towards pain caused during an examination without needles. The needle filled speculum isn't really appealing to most women that want to read about exams. There is a four blade speculum in real life. I don't know when that it used but that would be interesing to put into a story line. That would cause pain and be more realistic-since it is a real device. Having a speculum open top and bottom and left and right would cause pain.

Yeah the needle speculum is kinda evil isn't it?

I rather like it though I have a hard time describing it well in stories.

It's actually a female invention. (An online roleplay patient helped me come up with the idea)

I could see what I can do about fewer needles. Do you think needles are okay just not in the speculum or generally you'd not like to have needles in a story?

I don't think the four blade speculum would deliver the same kind of pain as one studded in needles. The doctor character in my stories is really not kind to his patients, for him it's all about maximizing the exploration of their bodies, their comfort doesn't even enter his thought process.

@crowntuner Youve just gotta write what you feel.

If that means needles to you, well then, so be it. If you’re not finding some way to appreciate the scenario your patient is in, it’ll come out flat.

Now - here’s the thing - don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. You just may be surprised!

I’m not into cardiophilia - just doesn’t do anything for me. But a number of my readers were, and liked to see the combination of cardio-related play in the exams. I explored, and found that adding ideas like playing her heartbeat over a speaker so we could both hear her sense of arousal, could be quite fun. And, of course, what excites my patients will always excite me indirectly as well.

One time I even tried exploring the dark cardiophilia… it was more an essay, a monologue about the joy of controlling her and how precious her heart was. I added some magical realism about reaching into her chest and holding her beating heart in my hands, controlling it. It was amazing, one of my favorite stories.

And my cardiophile readers were also … quite pleased. One even said how she used it to bring herself to climax several times in a row…

Now that’s the kind of praise non-erotica writers just never get!

-tyd

Pain in real life is such a fluctuating thing for me. It varies because of mood, mental state at the time, and what real life things get into my head. It is not a continuous, expected line of "good" to "too much".

@Crowntuner:

Tried to read your stories but haven't been able to. Hardcore pure and instead of pleasure I just thought this is non-realistic. Wondering where such male fantasies may come from but better I don't know. You scared me a lot.

@NataschaS

....many women love these stories, in fact. I don't think these are just male fantasies. It gets kind of weirder though. Of course in real life i would never even consider acting like the doctor in the stories. But.... When writing, no one actually gets hurt so the pain and other details can go way beyond the real world.... Eg it's definitely not realistic.

As for scaring you ... That's interesting how did it scare you?

@Crowntuner:

However I'd consider the matter, can't help, am horrified and disgusted.

@TrustYourDoctor

Yeah, having female readers tell me that my writing made them cum always blows my mind every single time.

I am actually surprised how often I hear that... It's such a high compliment!