Why are gay men not into kissing?

I am amazed at the number of profiles where men say they are not into kissing. I don't understand that sentiment when they have no issue with an action as personal as oral/anal interaction. For me, it is very personal and intimate and it gets my juices flowing. I will turn down offers to meet based on the "no kissing" policy.

I'd like to hear other thoughts on this.

I don’t know if this is true based on my limited experience. I’ve been naked — in bed — with two guys and BOTH of them were terrific kissers.

You didn't watch the same New Year's Eve coverage I did. In every crowd shot, they showed people kissing, including gay men.

It could be that people hooking up casually, which might be what's in their profiles, worry about simple things like catching the flu or a cold. (Flu's especially bad this year--be safe, everyone. No kissing strangers!)

I've not seen that yet... and i'm on scruff and tinder - but I totally believe you see those around. People are getting weirder and weirder all the time.

And personally, I wouldn't meet a dude that wouldn't want to kiss. That's just meh.

Perhaps people who post 'no kissing' are first timers or still a bit uncertain about how gay sex works, maybe uncertain in general?

Or perhaps sort of like professional working girls are also strictly 'no kissing' which in an odd way may allow them to rationalize that what they are doing isn't really sex or gay sex. It being work for the working girls and just stress relief sex for the ones having gay sex.

I've also seen enough posts here where members say they would like to experience sexual activities with men but only as sex, not as emotionally charged activities like when they have sex with women.

It's perhaps a way of retaining plausible deniability of really and truly being gay, while still experiencing gay sex.

Or maybe even something more mundane physical as having an aversion to facial hair or to stubble, something which now seems to be a big fashion trend? I add this as I for one have always been amazed how women will kiss men with beards or facial hair. Seeing this in movies often gives me the willies or makes my skin crawl.

Everyone is different. Relationships between two people vary. A lot of men do not derive any pleasure in kissing. It has no physical effect on them. Everyone expresses love and affection differently. Not all gay relationships consist of love and affection. For some, perhaps many, it's based more on sex without any lovin' feeling at all.

There are men who get together with other men for mutual sexual gratification, and then go their separate ways until maybe a next time. Very clean break. Love doesn't come into play. Nor does some kind of complex relationship. For then, it would all go downhill.

For me personally, I don't really get into kissing men. It's one of those things where if I am willing to satisfy the man, and he is into kissing, I will go along with it for his sake. Even though it does not really do anything for me.

Men whose cocks I've sucked will tell you that there's not really much of a point in having my mouth spend time with theirs, when it could be doing better things that have a much more stimulating effect than kissing. Men find that another man's lips are no match for his cock, when it comes to what they want to do with their own lips and mouth. Likewise, men find their partner's mouths are better suited for their cocks instead of their own mouths.

I tend to agree with agracier on the subject of facial hair. I am not a fan of today's "trendy" unshaven look. It looks silly and I believe it is an excuse for being too lazy to shave. I think it makes younger men look thuggish and older men look like unkempt bums, regardless of how well-dressed they are. As for beards, that goes double. Who (man or woman) wants to come in contact with a dirty, scraggly, wiry puff of Brillo while kissing a man's lips?

After some petting next always came long deep kissing. If my partner wasn’t into kissing I’d back off. And the deeper the better often sharing each others wetness.

Ive always just assumed that its because they have partners and that's some kind of line. Every man Ive been with, though, has liked kissing.

Cool question, and i too have seen a lot of guys who want sex with guys who are not into kissing them. i'd stop shy of putting the question in universal terms though. There are guys who wanna kiss guys too.

i think for some, it may have to do with the 'spectrum.' While we use black or white terms for communication, reality is we are all individuals. I.e there is infinite variation on who and how we want/need/experience intimate desire/connection/pleasure, etc..

One thing i experience personally when it comes to kissing is it involves different need/emotion/desire than sex does. Kissing can overlap and definitely enhance sexual connection for me, but it also has separate and unique factors (that word sounds way too clinical to me). i don't completely understand all my needs and desires, and suspect that is true about a lot of emotion for most people? The desire to kiss or not is more of an emotional thing, so it's harder to wrap in words?

For me, there is a decided visual component. i have to be visually attracted to a guy i am kissing. The same is not true about sex. For example, for me, a Guys desire/need to penetrate, fuck and inseminate me with Himself are all driving factors that evoke and connect to my reciprocal desires/needs to be penetrated, fucked and bred. With sex, i can have a one and done hook up... a Guy i want to kiss? I'd want Him again, something ongoing? Which is not to say that cannot happen with sex. Maybe it's a romantic component that i (emotionally?) associate more with kissing than with sex? We can fuck and be friends, can fuck and be done, but if we kiss, you're gonna have to propose? lol

Also, it's not just lip kissing. i have an ongoing FB who i 'love' and i think He 'loves' me in a way. But i doubt either of us could imagine having a traditional romantic relationship, even though He has bred me 2-4x a week for going on 6 years now. We have never lip kissed, and i suspect neither of us has the inclination to. But, i kiss all over His body. The tip of His cock, His anus... and every other part. Tender, affectionate kisses. And, He kisses me... but only when i a face down, prone underneath Him. my back, sides, shoulders, both passionately, and also gently affectionately... both drive me wild. He doesn't kiss my ass or penis though.

my FB is a good example of (absent) visual attraction. He's hairy, has facial hair (which never find attractive). He's a body builder, which has never been a particular attractant for me, but i've really come to enjoy His defined muscles and touch, kiss and lick them. my kisses on His body are definitely affectionate, but i don't feel or even imagine those feelings about kissing Him on the lips or being kissed on the lips by Him.

A lot of mystery to kissing for me.

Maybe kissing is not seen as a fetish/kink. It is just a basic part of love, sex, and relationship encounters. No need to see it as something to be into.

I love to kiss and be kissed by my lover, before,during and after we make love. I guess that I'm a romantic at heart!

No clue why. I don't understand those guys at all. I have trouble ejaculating if we're not also kissing. It feels more connected.

For me kissing is way too personal, i only want to do that with someone i have feelings for. not just any tom dick or harry.

I agree with HairyBot, when some men are happy to be physically/anally 'played' with, that they draw the line in kissing. For me, kissing is intimate and I feel gets me closer and at one with another person, no matter what follows it.

I agree with HairyBot, when some men are happy to be physically/anally 'played' with, that they draw the line in kissing. For me, kissing is intimate and I feel gets me closer and at one with another person, no matter what follows it.

I agree with HairyBot, when some men are happy to be physically/anally 'played' with, that they draw the line in kissing. For me, kissing is intimate and I feel gets me closer and at one with another person, no matter what follows it.

I do not like to kiss because so many don't take care of their teeth. They never floss. If your teeth stink, I'm not kissing you.

If I have a cock thrusting in my hiney, I WANT to be kissed, too!

I think that sexual kissing has nothing to do with the exploring kisses we exchange when we grow up. It has nothing to do with the kiss you exchange with your partner...still kissing is, at least for me, the sexiest part of a sex encounter. I played in scenes where kisses were not part of it, at least in the beginning...you do not usually kiss when you play doctor and patient or get tied in a dungeon.. kisses are not scripted in it... often I meet someone for enemas or other play, we do not get in bed and any sexual play is a consequence of the scene we are playing..no kisses....often I meet people that I want just have sex with and in that case a kiss is a must... I remember once, some time ago, got involved with a younger guy, went from talking to pulling our cocks out...we finished ad were relaxing naked in bed, I went to kiss him and he pulled back...said he was not comfortable kissing guys...I laughed, said he just rimmed me and sucked my cock....he laughed back, we kissed and did it all over again...still for some people kissing is the last barrier...whatever they do it is not really real...until they kiss....

The eyes. If you are going to kiss a guy, you are going to look him in the eyes. You are going to see open, or shut eyes. You are not going to be able to fake it, unless you can't read a guy, can't read his eyes. Gay men who need a fuck, a suck, a whatever might not want to engage with another guy that way. So they avoid kissing.

As a woman I’ve got to say I love to see two cute gay guys kissing. 😍

As a woman I’ve got to say I love to see two cute gay guys kissing. 😍

- maybe extraordinary !!

My experience has been the opposite. Kissing is great foreplay. We do it standing up, stripped to our underpants, sloppy wet kisses, tongues thrusting in and out of each other’s mouths, down to nipples then back to mouths, all the while our hands going down into each others briefs to stroke our hardening cocks.

@Dixon

I absolutely agree. I don’t believe MOST men are anti-kissing. For me and the real gentleman I’ve been with recently, Intense tongue thrusting AND lip locked kissing is absolutely mandatory during foreplay and even through the entire “Fucking session”! Mix that with some serious hiney grabbing, boob play and a really great intimate time is had by both guys especially as his cum shoots up my hiney!