In nursing I have treated countless trans patients, my best friends partner is trans, I have friends with trans kids and I will always be by each one of their sides to fight for their rights to live peacefully as the person they are.
I am a proud member of “free mum hugs” (“free mom hugs” in the US), a support network who love unconditionally and want the LGBTQIA+ community to know that they are fully accepted and loved for who they are. Especially those who have had loved ones who didn’t find it easy to accept them.
Almost unanimously, the people I know have said that their parents were the hardest to come out to, followed closely by their friends and extended family. I think that the fear of “what if” their loved ones don’t accept them is sometimes so incredibly anxiety inducing that they just can’t find the courage to share.
It is true that in general younger people are more accepting, but it’s still pretty scary out there. I feel that the human race is so deeply flawed by its need to ostracise and discredit anyone or anything they don’t feel fits their view of “normal”. Thinking back to when one of my daughters friends came out to her in their early teens, I still remember the tears of joy I witnessed on her friends face when my daughter threw her arms around her friend and told her she accepted her for who she is. From the observation of them talking across the park alone, I could see the fear disappear from her friends’ face and elation set in.
From the “parents perspective”, my friend, who’s daughter came out as trans, immediately knew that it never changed any love she felt for her child, or any pride she felt for the person her child was becoming, but it did make her question whether she had “missed the signs” or “could have helped sooner” or “could have done anything to make her feel safer to say something sooner.” It took some time for her to understand that everything happens when it is meant to, and all that matters is that you try your best - whether coming out, or being come out to.
@TG-Liz, I realise these words are from a random stranger on the internet, but, I’m so proud of you. While right now may be tough, the first step to happiness is admitting that you have the right to be happy. By your courage of telling your loved ones who you are, that is an example of you allowing yourself to thrive as the person you are. Big love ❤️
Please remind yourself that you have known your gender may not match what you were previously assigned for a long time, but to your loved ones it is new. Taking time to process isn’t necessarily a sign that they don’t accept it, it’s just different to them, and sometimes different takes some time to become normal.
Big love to you all, and everyone else who has ever questioned their identity, or been close to someone who has.