Is giving off a "gay vibe" a thing? When I was in college I was told I gave off "gay vibes" by a woman who clearly knew I was straight. However after joining this board I have gone back through my memories that now appeared to have been blatant attempts to get me to test the waters.
Some background: I grew up in the 70s but my parents were "old parents" because they grew up in the late 40s/early 50s and not in the early 60s like most of my friend's parents. Therefore attitudes toward sex and relations were from the 50s, so in high school and going into college I was very naive about non-traditional sexual situations.
When in college, I found myself in some odd situations:
A long weekend road trip to a someone's vacation home in the mountains. There were 8 or 9 of us in two cars, and when we got to the vacation home I was relegated the crappiest single bed in what was probably meant to be a walk-in hall closet. One night I was lying in bed reading and my friend Ken knocked on the door. He came in, was wrapped in a towel, and asked if he could borrow my shampoo. I reached over and pulled the shampoo out of my bag and handed it to him. On his way back from the shower he returned the shampoo, but then sat down on the bed and asked about my book. We had a three hour conversation about my philosophy class, and eventually we were sitting side by side on the floor, me in my undies and he wrapped in the towel. When he finally got up, the towel fell off, he turned around, and gave me a nice full view of his body. I tried not to look, did not react, and he covered up and walked off. The rest of the trip he always seemed to be by my side, and we had the best conversations, but never were that physically close again. Missed opportunity?
When I traveled abroad a year later, my program had an orientation week in a hotel for the participants. It was one of those older European hotels, probably one or two star, that had all sorts of odd rooms. I was the last male to arrive in the hotel, so I was placed in a room with the male who was second-to-last to arrive. No big deal. When I got to the room there was one double bed - but that did not surprise me given the cost of the program and the type of hotel. My roommate - Juan - was sitting at a table, but facing away from the door. When I entered the room I could see he was shirtless. He jumped up to greet me and shake my hand, and was wearing boxers. His hair was wet, and he had taken a shower. I wanted to take one as well, but we had an organizational meeting to go to.
The meeting lasted for two hours and then a bunch of us went to a bar. When we returned to the room Juan went right to bed and I took the shower I had wanted to take earlier. The bathroom was in the room, but had a sliding door that faced the bed. When I finished my shower Juan was in bed and asleep, with the bed cover that was pulled up halfway between his waist and his nipples. I dried off, put on some underwear, and pulled up the cover to get into bed. To my surprise, he was completely naked. I was a little uncomfortable, but I was not going to sleep on the floor. That night I think he masturbated while lying in bed facing way from me.
The following morning I took another shower, and Juan came into the bathroom to take a piss. This was one of those small Euro bathrooms, where the shower is a corner of the bathroom with a drain in the floor. He had no qualms about being seen by me. The next few days he was naked often, and I kind of adopted a similar practice. The last morning we were there together, he mentioned that he noticed I was circumcised, and then was very happy to show me his uncircumcised. I was curious but my comments were more clinical than sexual.
We spent little time together during most of our study program, but after it ended he invited me to go to a spa with hime (regular, not gay). There was a Finish-type sauna and hitting each other with those branches while completely nude made us both have erections. It was obvious that we were looking at each other but neither of us made a move.
So, in my naivete, do those two scenarios seem like they were two guys trying to make a connection? I do not know about Juan, but Ken has since come out - and I had more situations like that where the other guy has come out as gay.
I am secure in who I am, and have co-workers who are gay, but I do not want to ask them this "gay vibe" question. I'd appreciate your thoughts and ideas.