Is this considerd flirting

The following narrative describes a recent experience that my sister and I had. My sister felt I was flirting and I denied it. If you read it, I would appreciate your opinion. Denise

My sister was in town for a few days for a visit. She suggested we go to a tavern that is one of her favorite places to eat when visiting us. They have outside tables positioned in the shade so we both decided to take our dogs with us. Since it was pretty hot, we both wore short shorts and tank tops. My sister is very attractive and sometimes we are mistaken to be twins as we look very much alike. Most men would think she was “Smoking Hot.”

Anyway, we were waiting for our food when this really handsome guy walks up to our table and asks about our dogs both of them greeting him with their tails wagging. He pets them and then turns to me extending his hand introducing himself saying that he is Jack.

I gave him a friendly smile, shook his hand and told him, “It is nice to meet you. My name is Denise.” Then turning to my sister I said “This is my sister, Emma.” Emma also extended her hand to his and also said “It is nice to meet you.” Jack then asked if it was alright to sit down with us while he was waiting for his food. I said, “Sure” and got a nod from Emma that it was okay with her as well.

Service was very slow and after a bit of small talk, Jack said, “I have to confess that I didn’t come over to ask about your dogs. I saw two very attractive ladies and thought it would be nice to meet them.” He then turned to me and asked if I might like go out to dinner with him sometime. I smiled and rolled my eyes and looked over at Emma who had a big grin on her face.

I then turned to Jack and said, “Jack, you are an incredibly handsome guy and seem to be a real gentlemen, but I am married and have four kids so the answer would have to be no thank you.”

Jack smiled and then asked, “Any chance you ever fool around with the likes of me?” Both my sister and I burst out laughing and I again, still laughing, told him that the answer would still have to be no.

Jack with a big grin, then turns to my sister, said “Don’t tell me you are married too!!” All three of us burst out laughing, and my sister says that yes she is married too and has 2 kids. Not to be deterred, Jack asks my sister “Any chance that unlike your sister, do you ever fool around?”

By this time, we are all getting hysterical with laughter and but she manages to say “You would have to ask my sister if I do.” I crack up again and come back with “Well, all I can say for sure is that I don’t fool around, but I sometimes wonder about my sister.” Emma then punched my arm and we all three burst out laughing again.

Our food finally came and Jack told us that he was glad to meet us both and then asked if we had a single sister. We smiled and told him no. He then put his lower lip out as if to pout and then smiled. He then handed both of us his business card and said, “How disappointing. Well, if either of you ever get divorced or change our mind about fooling around, please give me a call!!” He then returned to his table and we ate our lunch without further conversation with Jack.

On the way home, Emma accused me that it was all too obvious that I was flirting with Jack. I denied her accusation and told her I was just being friendly and that she was the one to flirt…not me. Emma of course denied that and she was also only being friendly to an incredibly handsome guy that was hoping for a possible date with either one of us. I agreed that he was beyond just handsome and if we were completely honest with one another, that maybe we were just a wee bit flirty and that we were just having a little fun with a guy considerably younger than us (guessing around 35-40). Emma agreed with me.

Now my question is: Do you think we were flirting with Jack or just having some innocent fun with him with no further expectations by all three of us?

You and Emma were just having fun, Jack was flirting!

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If you and Emma had gone over to Jack's table and started a conversation, that would definitely be flirting.

But Jack approached you so it's not really flirting on your part because you were just responding to his questions in carrying on a conversation.

Replying to Jack's words could have been flirtatious depending on the words you used in responding. In my expert, professional opinion as a nobody, I don't think you and your sister were flirting. You were just having a little fun with the conversation.

And you can't help but be flattered that a younger man thought you were hot enough for him to approach you with his very bold, straight-forward offer. He certainly didn't beat around the bush (no pun intended--around the bush or otherwise).

Now, there must have been a few more things said in the conversation that didn't make it into the post and some of that may have been a bit flirtatious, but remember, he started the conversation, not you, and you were clear with him that the answer to his original question was a very definite "No" so a few flirtatious-sounding words on your part were probably in order.

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I agree with those who already answered: to me, you were having fun. At the end of the day, that guy approached you two, and not the other way around. Everything stayed polite, despite the guy's motives, and you didn't give him hope or anything.

You were flirting and good for you! Nothing wrong with flirting.

Jack obviouslly has excellent taste in women!

@Rigel That he does!

Can't blame him for asking. And he gets right to the point. He doesn't waste time with a pick-up line or trying to woo the girls. In most situations, he probably gets accepted or rejected immediately, too. I wonder what the hit rate is? 1 out of 10? 1 out of 50? 1 out of 100?

@Denise You gals were just having a little fun, you both were straight up with him about your situations.

As the story is told it was just a good time for both of you. He was definitely flirting with you. Your sister may have been putting her guilt of flirting onto you.

But, as is human nature there maybe little details being left out that could sway my opinion that you may have been flirting (had a bad day, you and your partner had issues bringing you down, ect). "Flirting" as subtle as it may have been, made you feel good. No harm was intended.

It sounds like everyone just enjoyed themselves, without anything further. I’m guessing that alcohol might have released his inhibitions, or maybe he was used to having women fall for him, because of his looks. You can’t really take anyone seriously that you meet in a bar. It’s known to attract both criminals, liars, and very decent people at the same time. At least the women in your group were honest and faithful to their husbands. That’s an honorable trait, that’s rare today.

I can see how many might think that you were flirting, but I see it as just enjoying the fact that a handsome young man showed interest in you both and wanted to find out if indeed you were interested in a date and possible relationship. You both handled it in a very proper many with busting the guys ego. Well done fun!

Years ago when I was single widowed I started back to school to finish my bachelor’s degree and my upon entering my first classroom I noted a beautiful girl sitting at one of the tables and I was very interested in meeting her. My motives were to find out if she was indeed available. Well it turns out she was married and not in the market for a relationship, but we did become great friends and we continued as study partners throughout our bachelor’s degree program. To be truthful, I still desired her but learned that having a “Girl Friend” not romantically or sexually attached was a whole new experience for me. It was wonderful and i learned even more about women at the ripe age 50… oh to be 50 y/o again!

On a side note… I had begun a relationship with another woman and I asked her how to pick out nice lingerie. Her reply, “ take it off the rack then off the hanger, then drop it on the floor, if it still looks good there, then buy it!” How fun and enlightening it was to have and still have a relationship with a woman like that. We are still good friends 25 year later.

A point on flirting: flirting doesn’t have to go anywhere. There is no promise, explicit or implicit with flirting. You’re not necessarily leading someone on when you flirt.

Jack seems like a real creep. The right response would’ve been to tell him to get lost. Why would you want to flirt with such a dodgy character?

In my opinion and speaking from a male point of view you were not flirting with Jack. Jack approached you and your sister hoping to get a date. When you and your sister responded and said “NO” I am married with children Jack’s ego was bruised and instead of politely exiting the situation he put himself into his brain went into panic mode and he ran his mouth. He only dug himself a into deeper hole and when he gave you his card and said to call me if things change or if you change your mindset only shows that his brain cells are not fully developed. Jack is a manipulative person and he tried to remain in control of everything including the both of you until his ego was satisfied and he felt like he could safely exit with his ego intact. If you ever come across another Jack type of person get very nasty with them quickly and send them back to the pit they crawled out of.