Topics of conversation during rectal exam.

What do you talk about when someone has their finger up your bottom. There is always the usual 'do you like this?' I once visited a 'nurse' who advertised enemas, and she asked me if I was constipated. I told her I didn't know, and she said 'there's one way to find out' and slid her finger up my bottom. While it was still there she said 'when did you last do your business?' When I expressed surprise at the question, she replied 'well, what did you expect me to say?' I had no answer.

My last that I remember was a female student doctor performing a DRE on me under the watchful eye of a trained doctor. No conversation or comments.

But on an occasion or two when I was getting a rectal thermometer put up my rectum , the nurses doing it made light talk either about the “procedure ” or about my health in general.

During a clinical trial study I was in my room right after being admitted when a white capped white starched uniformed nurse came in and asked me a few general questions then asked if I had been given a DRE. Told her no.

She said”OK”, left the room. Thought she was going to be coming back to give me one, but she didn’t. I was a bit disappointed.

Never had a real one.

During play exams I like her to tell me explicitly what she is seeing and doing and feeling, ask lots of intimate questions, comment clinically on potential arousal (the word “moist” OMG), so the conversation is about what’s happening… not other topics.

I have never had a play exam. Only real exams, there has never really been anything said during the part of exam when the doctor's finger has been in me. Once I was asked how I was doing while he had his finger in me. Before they have inserted their finger I have been told that I was going to be touched and then asked to relax or bear down. But there has never been any kind of a conversation about anything.

There isn't much time during the DRE at the urologist to have any conversation. Just a matter of factly you'll feel some pressure, a spreading of the cheeks, and quick entry an sweep of the rectal wall, and the strange sensation once he makes his way to the prostate and out the same way like a ninja.

Rather intimidating when your urologist is 6'7 with fingers like like Nathan's hot dogs and you're certain he was using his middle finger, but at least the actual exam lasts barely a few seconds strangely feeling like a minute in remembrance.

"Conversation" is a rather generous term. It is very one sided. Mostly instructions like "You'll feel some discomfort, but it shouldn't hurt." "OK, bear down a bit" "Any pain?" etc.

So far, nothing has been said during my DRE, only before and after.

My doctors have never tried to make small talk to me during it. Only before and after

The best conversation I ever had during a rectal exam was the one that didnt happen. It was because of the conversation beforehand. This was a real life annual physical, one of my first with my new doctor in my 20's, and he was aware that I was recently out as a gay man. He announces he's going to do a prostate exam. Long pause. I'm worrying if I'm going to get aroused. He broke the awkward silence by chucking and saying, "I know, the dreaded prostate exam" I must have already been rolled over because I responded to him right as he was about to go in. "Well, maybe for some people!" In, out, done, in a flash. I still laugh about it to this day.

True story: About ten years ago when they used to actually examine you in a physical, right at the moment when I had a male doctor's finger up my ass for the prostate check, my phone rang.

"Do you want to get it?" he asked, but he didn't move his finger so I wasn't sure if he was joking or not. If I'd said yes he would have taken his finger out, right? Or not?

"No, it's okay" I mumbled.

I’ve never had a conversation during any rectal exams that I’ve received.

A conversation I had with my proctologist was in which he said he was going to introduce an anoscope, so that I could relax and the exam would be quick.

A conversation I had with my proctologist was in which he said he was going to introduce an anoscope, so that I could relax and the exam would be quick.

@Miguel - Was your proctologist performing a visual, manual or digital rectal exam when he told you this? What position did he have you in when he introduced the anoscope? How did it feel?

I'd be a bit exhilarated if I was told this during a rectal exam.. I started to 'chub' during my last quick non-penatrive rectal exam. I'm not sure that I could keep myself from getting an erection if an anoscope was to be used on me. I'd surely have a lot of precum run from my penis too.

During my gyno exams the doctor usually talks to me about random things as if nothing is happening down there. I HATE it!! I know he's trying to get me to relax and it's just small talk but I don't want to talk about politics when the speculum is in my vagina or when his fingers are inside any of my holes

My practice was to tell my patients what I was doing as I performed a rectal or pelvic exam. It kept them informed and, I hoped, more at ease and provided filler.

Complete awkward silence

@edwasss In a real exam, I'm completely cold, I have no arousal whatsoever. However, in a MEDFET exam, I get completely aroused during the procedures.

Normally no talk. I just get told my prostate feels nice and smooth and fine.

What's Up 'Doc'? - Not Good, Not Good At ALL:-)!

In a real exam the DRE and prostate exam take about a minute if that long. Not much time for chit chat. In a role play exam things would be quite different.

During my first urology visit, the doc did a prostate massage that lasted 3m. While bent over the table, and getting the massage, he started making small talk about work.

Don’t recall them ever saying anything during, only before and after.

My last rectal / prostate it was pretty much bend over the table and spread your legs as much as I could with my shorts half way down. I stood there bent over in awkward silence while she replaced her gloves lubed up and goes ok as I feel her other hand parting my ass a litttle, “cold and some pressure’” and in slid her finger. 30 seconds later it’s here’s some tissues

It happens so fast. Like maybe ten seconds . The only conversation I can went is “try to relax, I know it’s uncomfortable, please bare down for me, almost done”. Which is a sharp contrast from the breast exam. My provider likes to get chatty during it. We’ve talked about my dog. My family. And last year our favorite flavors of white claws.

And last year our favorite flavors of white claws.

@Amanda_O What is the conversation with your doc, and how’d that come up and what are, “white claws”? Looked it up, hard citrus seltzers. Never heard of them before. Wonder how they got that name 😀. What’s your favorite flavor and what was your doctors? Just seems like an odd topic, you two must have a good relationship!