Open Discussion about your Medical Examination

Was there ever any open discussion about medical examinations you had when you were younger. For example, if a letter came home (in those days) scheduling an exam, was it mentioned around the dining table in front of other family members? Did your mother discuss your examination with other family members. I remember hearing my mother discuss a couple of mine, when I was younger, with her sister. Sometimes it was announced to all sitting round at a meal that one of us was having a medical. I always found it embarrassing fur me, but amusing the my brother and sister.

Yes I had to have regular monthly exams for a time in my teens. I always used to dread seeing the appointment letter arrive a couple of weeks before, the date being added to the wall calendar 'Andrew Clinic 4.15' and the letter remaining pinned on the noticeboard.

There would be some discussion around the table the night before, mainly around the logistics: if I was to make my own way there, or if mum would collect me from school in the car and if that was the case whether my brother would get a lift part way home if he was quick enough out of school etc; otherwise to make sure my older sister was home or if not then where the spare house key would be left; arrangements for walking the dog, making dinner or other chores to cover for mum who would be at my exam. It all sounds very mundane but it felt awkward listening to the conversation with the unspoken subtext that all planning and discussion was necessary owing to me 'having to have my willy looked at'.

Similarly it might crop up in conversation between my mother and one of here friends or a family member that she might be unavailable for something owing to having to take me to the clinic. Fine of course, until the other party then enquired out of politeness 'Nothing serious I hope?' and my mother then filled them in with all the information.

My step mother told my step sister everything about my exams growing up but not in front of me, and I knew that they talked about it because every time I had an appointment with the pediatrician my step sister would tease me about the doctor pulling my underwear off and feeling my "willy" and then she would laugh. During my physical the pediatrician and my step mother would carry on conversations about how most boys are circumcised now and other embarrassing topics while I was lying on the table. I also recall my father and step mother arguing about circumcision but my father saying it was my decision and I chose not to do it once I was informed of what exactly would be done.

Never was my medical examinations discussed beforehand. When I had my main medical exam at 15 my mum took me to the kitchen table afterwards and asked me if I was examined “down there” to which I replied yes, she said “good” and she left me to get on with tasks.

I was a bed wetter until puberty started aged 11. Mum had a star chart on my bedroom wall, red star a wet night, silver star dry, 3rd day dry in a row gold star. She would show that chart to relatives, I found that so embarrassing and the stars were beyond my control.

OMG no. That would have been mortifying.

Nothing was mentioned in my presence from the moment we left the doctor’s office. I have no idea if my mother talked to my father about it. Im guessing not.

Yes, I also had very many exams and appointments at doctors (mostly by the paediatrician, dermatologist and by a gastroenterologist at the childrens clinc) in my youth and teenaged time, also some longer stays at hospital at that time. Oftenly, when she told me about the next appointment, I was really grumpy and stubborned, but what nerved me totally was that she was talking about the upcoming exams all the days before to me!

I also remember several times when my mother was talking about me and about my exams to the nurses when we were sitting in the waiting area in front of all the other patients and parents. By the paediatrician nurses asked her so often how often i was ill, if i had abdominal troubles again (which I had often!), how often I was vomiting the last time and some more, too! That was always absolutely embarrassing for me, because I had so often problems with my sick andomen at that time and my mom told them about everything in a really dramatic style! The nurses asked also regularly about my last exams by the other doctors, mainly by the dermatologist because of my extremely many dysplastic nevi and moles all around my whole body, and by the for me horrible gastro-doctor at the clinic, in detail how they went, what the doctors exactly said and so on! Sometimes I would like to run away when I felt all the curious views of the other patients and moms on me!

When i came out from the exam room and had to wait in the waiting area again for the mostly upcoming further exams (like laboratory, ecg, ultrasound, x-ray) the nurses oftenly asked also how the exam now went and what the (paediatric) doctor did now, also if I was nausea again, if I vomited by the exam again, what the doctor had said then and wanted to know every detail then. It was so embarrassing becaus my mom told them everything! I often felt like I could have sunk into the ground!

I also remember one nurse who did mostly the ecg-exam in the seperate room then who was asking so much more when I was lying on the table and during she put all the electrodes everywhere on me. Normally, she was talking to my mom then, too, and wanted to know everything about my exam by the paediatrician before, every detail how he examined my abdomen, what he exactly said, when and how it exactly happened again when I was nausea or vomited there again, if and how the doctor examined my completely bulged (outie) navel, too, how he examined my genitals and what he had said about my fully lack of puberty (when I was 14 to 16) and several more. It was so shaming for me although no other patients heared that then.

When I was lying on the table in the ultrasound cabine, what was directly near the registration desk of the nurses, and had to wait with my mom for the doctor then, I often heared the nurses talking among themselves about me and my exams before, what other patients in the waiting area could have heard, too! It was the mostly embarrassing of all, especially when I had vomited by the doctor before!

So, for me, it was also very embarrassing to be asked about my exams and to talk to others about that, too, as well in my teenaged time to my (and other!) class members at the school as later to my and other classmates during my nursing training (in our dormitory for nursing students), because I had to go to regular exams to different doctors (gastroenterologic department for intense abdominal exams and Crohns disease, dermatologic clinic becauso of dysplastic nevi syndrome and company doctor for regular intense full body and navel hernia exam) there, too! I really had to learn to answer and talk about that in front of others because i was so ashamed!

I definitely remember a couple times over the years when my mom would be talking to someone either in person or on the phone, and mentioning off hand “I have to go take the boys for their physicals”. The word physical was always a trigger for me as I associated the word strongly with having penis and testicles looked at and checked. Super mortifying for some reason.

Childhood and teenage exams were always arranged by mom and communicated to her. I subsequently learned that when she circled a calendar with the doctor's first and last initials that it meant I had an appointment. She told the night before or the day of an exam. I wasn't provided with much information other than "You have a doctor's appointment tomorrow."

I learned more upon arriving at the doctor's office and when in the exam room that a physical was to happen. Rarely, especially as a teen, did she tell me that it was for an exam. Once in the exam room, I knew this was an exam, especially when told to undress and provide a urine sample. Immediately, I would flood with anxiety and apprehension yet develop an erection in my briefs as I undressed and waited to be weighed by the nurse. Typically, mom would leave the room to allow me privacy which the nurse subsequently violated. From that point on, it was high anxiety, bashfulness and resignation that the doctor and/or nurse would do things to me!

My step mother told my step sister everything about my exams growing up but not in front of me, and I knew that they talked about it because every time I had an appointment with the pediatrician my step sister would tease me about the doctor pulling my underwear off and feeling my "willy" and then she would laugh. During my physical the pediatrician and my step mother would carry on conversations about how most boys are circumcised now and other embarrassing topics while I was lying on the table. I also recall my father and step mother arguing about circumcision but my father saying it was my decision and I chose not to do it once I was informed of what exactly would be done.

@Badgy1 It’s good that your dad stood up for you. But why did your step mom care that you weren’t circumcised? You don’t state your exact age when these exams happened. But I get the impression you were plenty old enough to know whether you wanted that done to you or not.

@dahardy9 I never asked her specifically back then why she thought I should be circumcised, and I initially agreed because almost all the boys around my age were circumcised that we knew and there was a big push for circumcision by pediatricians for "hygiene" reasons at birth and I have heard that the Catholic church was also somehow involved as it was thought to limit or stop masturbation. I was around 12 when I was taken to the consult with the pediatric surgeon and it scared me when I was shown what was going to be cut.

When I was 11 my foster parents took me to a highly respected Pediatrician/Adolescent Medicine Specialist.for a complete physical. I didn't want to go, in fact I was terrified as I had been abused by various doctors, nurses etc while in state custody. I had asthma, low weight anxiety and insomnia. I mentally shut down, started crying and had an asthmatic attack sitting on the exam table. My mom, dad and most importantly my doctor understood my behavior and offered comfort and support during my exam.

Later that day I had a conversation with my mom about my physical. She asked me how I felt about my new doctor. Was I comfortable enough? Did I trust the doctor? My mom is a RN and was quite aware of the doctor's good reputation. I told my mom I was scared of going to the doctor but sometimes it was necessary and I wanted to see my new doctor going forward.

Fast forward 7 years at my college admission physical. I was as adopted at 14 and as the years passed I developed into a confident, physically fit University bound young adult. Over the years my doctor acted as my advocate, my friend and my healthcare provider who was instrumental in my positive growth and development. After my exam she reached out, gave me a hug and told me she was proud of me.

@Badgy1 Gotcha. Regardless it’s good that your dad had your back. That feels like a big overstep in authority and boundaries from your step mom. Way beyond the scope of what a step parent should be doing.

I would be surprised if the Catholic Church was involved. Catholic majority countries in Latin America and Europe (albeit mostly non-practicing) have very low circumcision rates, some of the lowest on the planet. Circumcision is not a part of Catholic beliefs.

Never. My parents never talked about anything “sensitive”

I absolutely love listening to others talking about their various medical exam experiences, but I’m reluctant to talk about my own unless in front of “likeminded” people who have a medical “kink”, or on forums like this one.

A few years back the girlfriend of a good mate of mine had to have a medical exam prior to starting teacher training college, she knew about my “medfet” and was keen to tell me all about it afterwards, but she had to be careful because her boyfriend was a mate of mine, still is, although she’s not with him anymore unfortunately.

My father was present until my last exam, my youth exam at 13. So there was no discussion with my mother, but I don't know if my parents spoke about it. I wished I Could discussed it with my friend or classmates.

Yeah, it was fairly open, for sure, which I think contributed to it becoming a fetish. Sort of sense of exhibitionism just to have it discussed openly.