MEN: Have you been to your wife's gynecology exam?

This question is for the men.

1. Has your significant other allowed you to attend her Gynecology exams?

I accompany my wife for her examination by a gynecologist. She is quite shy with strangers and a sweat quite often I ask her doctor more questions about female health than herself.

I have been to multiple OB exams with my wife. I’ve seen her get three transvaginal ultrasounds. All while she was pregnant, so most of the visits were just seeing her get her cervix checked toward the end of pregnancy. However one of the visits was her first appointment for that pregnancy which was also close to her annual wellness check date. At that appointment she was asked to undress completely, they did a breast exam, Pap smear, bimanual exam, then a vaginal ultrasound. After discussing that after our first child she had some issues with hemorrhoids the doctor also did a rectal exam. That was a very exciting exam to see.

A wife, a girlfriend, and a friend that lost a wager I’ve been able to join on their visits

I’ve been fortunate that my wife has had me attend some of her regular gynecology exams, all ob appointments when she was pregnant.

I’ve answered in another thread but I’ll post my answer here too. Yes, I went with a few of my Ex’s. It always made me fascinated how different they were when they went. My first Ex would always be embarrassed and I’d comfort her. She would always want to nurse to fully explain step by step what would happen so that was definitely hard not to pop a boner in those moments. My second Ex would have the gown open in the front and chit chat with the doctor. She was a very open person. She even asked her doctor to check her rectum while in the stirrups. (she was having some pain and wanted to know what was going on.) That was DEFINITELY an exciting experience to witness! My third Ex knew about my Medfet kink and would tease me! She’d let me sit at the foot of the exam table so I could get a great view of the show! She’d pose for me while she was naked under the white sheet they’d give her to cover up.

It was interesting because sometimes the girls would be given a gown to change into and other times they’d just be given a sheet. My first Ex would have both a gown and sheet. I’m very grateful for being able to witness such intimate exams with a bunch of beautiful women.

I went to the pregnancy visits.

There were a couple in the second pregnancy where she needed a transvaginal ultrasound because the baby was never in the right position to be seen properly on the standard belly scan.

I have been to all gyn and regular doctor appointments since we married over 35 years ago. For the past 6 years or so, the pcp does the exam at her regular appointment rather than dealing with two appointments.

Very educational and very exciting. I’ve always had an erection at every appointment.

Yes, I go to all of my wife's gyn exams. I have gone since the first exam she had after we started dating. She asked me to go.

Only once, during an IVF egg retrieval. Not fun for her.

My second wife had a conical incision of her cervix due to pre cancer diagnosis and after the surgery the next day we went and had the packing removed and the doctor had her speed open and had me look inside to see her cervix

Always loved feeling her cervix with the head of my penis. It would catch the edge of the rim of my glans on the out stroke.

Plenty of times in many years

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I've always gone to her OB/GYN exams.

And looked over the doctor's shoulder to get the same view he was getting.

Except once when a female doctor told me I had to go stand at the other end of the exam table. We never went back to her again.

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I was only allowed to goto the pregnancy visits and a couple of the ultrasounds. I've asked to go with her for her regular visits and she tells me that I wouldn't be allowed in and that when she goes, she never sees any other husbands in the waiting room, unless the partner is pregnant.

Unfortunately no. Definitely want to though!

Nope and don't need to be , not my thing , don't care

Yes, I've been with several of my ladies several times at their gyn exams because they asked me to accompany them and it felt well, for both of us, every time.

Regretably not. Trust me I've tried but have been told they will think I'm some kind of pervert. Well, they can think what they want as far as I'm concerned.

I never went to her yearly exams, but I did see her get a pap, have her cervix examined a few times and get the rectal strep test for both our kids.

For our first we had a bit of a scare at around 7 months. When we showed up to the birthing unit the nurse took us behind a curtain. She had her get into a gown, and then said "i’ll just check you so we don’t have any surprises" as she gloved up. I watched separate her labia and check her cervix for what seemed for ever. The nurse even apologized.

Innumerable times. Husbands are supposed to support their wives and be there to hold their hand, and maybe learn a thing or two. That’s just how we do it our household.

Over the years I have attended three regular exams and two vaginal ultrasounds. The first exam was a turn on for me, not knowing the true in's and out's of what all would happen. Surprised/disappointed the vag exam didn't take longer. The Dr was cool about explaining what she was looking for and why. After we left I understood a lot more. The second exam went about the same. The third exam was with a new Dr, located near the university. This guy was young, handsome and in my opinion the luckiest guy on the planet. We entered the new exam room which was much more modern than the previous office. Waiting for the Dr, all I could image was the beautiful women in the stirrups previous. The appointment was later in the afternoon so the trashcan near the exam table was somewhat full of used gloves, sticks from the cervical brushes and an empty tube of surgical lube with did turn me on. The nurse was also young and quit attractive. I watched her face during different parts of the exam but she stayed focused. What I didn't notice was my wife watching my reactions! She was not happy with my lack of focus toward her support. I wasn't asked to attend future exams . . . My true excitement was leaving, seeing these very attractive women lined up, waiting to go in. Some were visibly nervous, some straight faced, one or two surprised to see me walk out. The ultrasounds were fast an not really exciting. Both times the tech had my wife insert the wand. The best part, all results came back normal.

No. The only exception were some obstetrical ultrasounds but they were not performed by the gynecologist.

Unfortunately no. Definitely want to though

I've been going to my better half's appointments for a very long time and most office staff pay no attention. I have felt very unwelcome though before, and this might sound bad like I'm knocking female doctors, but if we get a bad vibe it's always been from a female doctor. There was one who made some big deal about whispering to my wife asking if she felt "safe" at home and was terribly obvious that she wanted me to hear that said. Really strange behavior at least it seemed like that to me.

I've been going to my better half's appointments for a very long time and most office staff pay no attention. I have felt very unwelcome though before, and this might sound bad like I'm knocking female doctors, but if we get a bad vibe it's always been from a female doctor. There was one who made some big deal about whispering to my wife asking if she felt "safe" at home and was terribly obvious that she wanted me to hear that said. Really strange behavior at least it seemed like that to me.

My wife and I have encountered this same scenario with the "are you safe" line of crap. Both men and women are victims of abuse and that is just plain sick, but it's not solved at the gynecologist office. My wife has the perfect line when a female doctor does the whole are you safe...wink wink...whisper crap. She tells the female doctor (never had a male ask this) that she feels quite safe with me being in the room and it's a good thing she brought me with her as she would feel very unsafe being asked this question if she were alone. The look on their face is always priceless and they pretty much across the board turn into miss stoneface, finish the exam in record breaking time, and make a fast escape. It's always hilarious.

The other silliness is preaching about "weapons" in the home. And I hand it to my wife again on that one....she immediately goes into an entire story....oh wow I never thought about it...but...well yes...we have lots of things we can use as weapons. A lovely set of butcher knives, a baseball bat in the corner of the bedroom, a rather serious set of fireplace tools, one very large dog, oh and my husband taught me some serious take down techniques, incapacitation or lethal blows if under attack, and then she proceeds to list all the firearms in the house and how she goes target shooting with me once a month in case of home invasion. And however her story goes along it always ends with....oh and if you need recommendations on which mace brand is most effective I have plenty in my bag if you need a canister or want a brand recommendation. The look on the face is priceless after she's done lecturing.

Sorry I couldn't resist, abuse is a serious issue, but trying hard to suggest or get a patient to agree that she is unsafe at home with her husband...the suspected "abuser" present in the room is pretty clueless. Maybe more time spent on medical care would be helpful!

I think the "Do you feel safe in your home?" question has become fairly standard. And no, not feeling safe isn't a problem solved at the gyn's office, but it could lead to a referral to a social worker or something to help rectify the situation.

Yikes, you guys. If it doesn't apply to you, great, the question was not for you, say "No" and move on. For people in a relationship with an abuser, a medical appointment may very well be one of the only unsupervised / monitored meetings with other people they have in their life. If your abuser controls your phone access and finances, yeah, you might NOT be able to call 911 - or if you can, you might not be in a situation where it's safe to, because getting out of an abusive situation is usually a lot more complicated than just calling the cops one time. Those questions are standard because for a small percentage of their patients they are lifesaving moments of getting help, and the only way for it to be effective is if everyone is asked, not just people who show obvious signs of being abused. Instead of getting angry, be grateful the question isn't relevant to your life and have some compassion for the people for whom it is.

(Agreed that bringing it up while the SO is IN THE ROOM is a pretty daft way of going about it, though...)

Exactly, May May. And well stated.

I was not trying to start WWIII especially being new here. And sorry for my opinion but doc4u comments about his wife , well she seems pretty darn sharp and witty on top of being funny to come up with that, I think he was just making light of the things she said in a really weird situation.

But I do agree 100% with doc4's closing comment - I mean I was sitting right there - what if I really truly was an abuser, we all know what would happen after that appointment. Spouses like that are off the deep end and it's all about them, so a doctor playing the whisper game with a real psycho abuser who gets a thrill out of harming his spouse who is sitting right there in exam room, well it would have set him off after the fact. Sorry but this is not an intelligent way to handle things.

Absolutely. However, it started once we were pregnant. Since then, I've gone to the appointments.