What is your opinion on domestic discipline in relationships? Do you think it is effective for some people, or not effec

I am into Domestic Discipline marriage and yes I willingly allow my husband to have authority over me and punish me with corporal punishment. He takes me in hand and mostly gives me over the knee bare bottom spanking and corner time too. He has used more extreme measures like caning, hairbrush paddle and belting when I was especially out of line.

I’m not joking when I say we have the most wonderful marriage. We rarely fight, we adore each other, our kids and lives are well rounded and just simple with peace in the home. It’s private between us. I often am bruised or have welts on my bottom and I love it. We also do Maintenance Spankings where I am reminded of my husbands authority over me. Corporal punishment can be hard because it’s so painful but the connection after is amazing. We have so much love for each other. I know my place under my husbands authority and I actually feel sorry for people that don’t live like this.

That is my experience with domestic discipline and it works for me. Does it work for you?

It absolutely works for me. It’s the joy of my life. In a strange way, I feel loved and safe.

I especially love it, when I’m in “that space” and I need to feel humiliation and pain.

The psychological humiliation of it all is over the top.

Difficult to articulate. The best.

It’s not something I’d ever contemplate or be interested in. My wife and I have always been equals.

That said, I see it in many posts on DD and BDSM relationships that are very strong, nurturing, and work as well or better than ours. More power to @Jane_Woo and @Assme for articulating the positive aspects of their relationships.

Wife and I have done it off and on and we enjoy it. In the vanilla affairs of our marriage we're equals but her taking my over her lap because I've been cranky is very soothing for us. Gives us kink, love, and support for each other

In domestic discipline the 2 things that is important to me is communication and understanding of each others to make it work.

We communicate with one another our like and dislike and we reason out things and agree on it.

With communication comes understanding our needs and wants. We try our best to accommodate each other needs and wants. It is important that he knows how I feel and me knowing how he feels that makes it work.

Most marriages breakdown because we do not communicate or take time to understand each other’s needs and wants.

It's totally not for me. I am my husband's equal, only with giant bazongas!

But if it works for other people and there's fully informed consent, no judgment from me.

I absolutely could not imagine a serious, long term relationship without it. I am incredibly lucky to be with the girl that I am with. We are a perfect match in this way. I have a deep-seeded need to be held accountable through corporal punishment, and she has a similar need to be a guiding and coaching force using the same tools. I could get into the psychology of why I think we each turned out this way but it's not necessary to answer the question.

As I've discussed in other threads, I am a born spanko and was fascinated with the idea long before I ever experienced it. For me it is simultaneously sexual and also entirely removed from sexuality. I do my best to remove sexuality from it actually, and that tends to make it even more sexual in a weird way. I'm not the bratting type, so I don't seek it out for its own sake (feels unauthentic) and even as a kid I wouldn't consider myself a 'bad kid', but I always felt a need for a particular kind of "completeness" if I felt like I did something wrong or broke a rule. Doesn't even matter if I disagree with the rule. If I did something I wasn't supposed to do, I deserve to be punished and there is something about that type of attention that I really appreciate... Even after all these years I still find it difficult to properly communicate the idea - I don't know if what I'm typing will make sense to anyone else - Virtually all of my sexual fantasies revolve around it but it's like a second sex drive all unto itself that doesn't require any sort of actual sexual play at all to be fulfilled. It doesn't come from a low self esteem or a pervasive feeling of guilt, and I'm certainly not the type that is pre-disposed to being taken advantage of through manipulation or abuse. It's almost like an equation for me. But the urge and need is pervasive enough that I couldn't imagine life without it. If I were in a relationship with someone that didn't understand and wasn't prepared to meet that need, I think I would inevitable seek it out somewhere else (putting the relationship it jeopardy, I'm sure) or I would be unfulfilled enough that I would need to leave.

Domestic Discipline has genuinely made me a better person, and has enhanced my life in ways that I can't always describe. It's easy to point to certain goals that it has helped me accomplish but it is much harder to describe the sense of wholeness it brings me. Often times when I've spoken to other people who practice it I find that the way it effects me is somewhat different from them. Some people use it purely as discipline - no sexual element whatsoever, and others use it as a way to legitimize and incorporate a fetish into their lives. Rarely have I met someone who experiences it the same way I do. I'm not trying to be pretentious, it's just a realm of my own psyche that I find words inadequate to describe. It just feels right. 🤷‍♀️

I am a born spanko and was fascinated with the idea long before I ever experienced it. For me it is simultaneously sexual and also entirely removed from sexuality. I do my best to remove sexuality from it actually, and that tends to make it even more sexual in a weird way.

You put this fetish into a sensible form. The fetish and sexual over/underlap make sense to me. Great you found a partner who fulfills that! Thanks for your posts. you’ve enlightened me to something I never understood. I always thought it a form of BDSM play, but it’s not for you. Just life and acceptance

@PutMeInTheCorner I always thought domestic discipline was a religious sect male dominance thing. It can be, but you showed a whole new side of it. More power to you and your partner!

@Rigel There is a section of it called CDD (Christian Domestic Discipline) but that's a very complicated topic from my point of view.

@PutMeInTheCorner I agree there are no experience is the same as each of us have different needs and wants. What we experience in our life gives us a perception of things. A soft spanking to you might be a hard spanking to me.

As I've discussed in other threads, I am a born spanko and was fascinated with the idea long before I ever experienced it. For me it is simultaneously sexual and also entirely removed from sexuality. I do my best to remove sexuality from it actually, and that tends to make it even more sexual in a weird way. I'm not the bratting type, so I don't seek it out for its own sake (feels unauthentic) and even as a kid I wouldn't consider myself a 'bad kid', but I always felt a need for a particular kind of "completeness" if I felt like I did something wrong or broke a rule. Doesn't even matter if I disagree with the rule. If I did something I wasn't supposed to do, I deserve to be punished and there is something about that type of attention that I really appreciate... Even after all these years I still find it difficult to properly communicate the idea - I don't know if what I'm typing will make sense to anyone else -

🤷‍♀️

I do understand your need of completeness and attention that you need to be punished and difficultly to communicate the idea of

punishment.

When I do something wrong and feel guilty about the situation I need to feel a sense of completeness to be punished so that the guilt can be spanked out of my guilty feeling as I know that I deserve it. Feeling the pain I deserve on my sore bottom gives me a sense completeness or is forgiven and the is no more guilt.

It’s was also difficult to for me as an introvert to seek attention and communicate during my marriage in the beginning. During that time I wasn’t able to communicate and express myself and the words properly. It was after several years that my husband draw me out of myself that I am now able to express myself and even post discussions on this group.

So @PutMeInTheCorner what you wrote make sense to me from my perspective and experience but what I wrote may be similar or not at all from your perspective and experience. What is white to you might be black to me because the front view is white and the back view is black. It the angle that we look at things.

@Jane_Woo What you wrote sounds very similar. The only thing I would say is that for me guilt is separate from that feeling of completeness.

Very insightful @PutMeInTheCorner . Not sure how unique your experience is. There are probably others out there who feel similarly.

This obviously works for you and your partner.

Thank you for sharing.

@Jane_Woo may I ask how old you are? I am 30, but my husband and I (both Appalachia raised) started CDD at 22.

I really don't get this at all - but it is fascinating. I did an undergraduate degree in psychology and I find stuff like this really interesting, I wonder what it is that causes people to be wired up this way?

I was raised in a strct Christain home where spankings by only my mother were given but never in anger, frustration, and with a great deal of love afterward. I was spanked over he lap by hand always on the bare bottom but for major or repeated transgression, the dreaded hairbrush or even worse the paddle would come up and really light up my bottom but never to the point of breaking the skin. Afterwards, she would take me on her lap and I was hugged and kissed and she would encourage me to do better in the future. After a spankng, the transgression was not mentioned again and I felt completely forgiven. My husband took over the spanking duties (always consensual and a safe word was established but never felt the need to be used) as I do sometimes actually need correction and it has proven to bring us closer in our marriage. Spankings are always privately done when kids not around and they almost always lead to closer moments in the bedroom afterwards. I should mention that my husband sometimes finds himself over my knee as well when he deserves it!! lol. Denise

Spankings are always privately done when kids not around and they almost always lead to closer moments in the bedroom afterwards. I should mention that my husband sometimes finds himself over my knee as well when he deserves it!! lol. Denise

@Denise Somewhat akin to “make-up” sex. For both parties!

I really don't get this at all - but it is fascinating. I did an undergraduate degree in psychology and I find stuff like this really interesting, I wonder what it is that causes people to be wired up this way?

- yes, for sure an interesting question !! - but also hard to find a serious answer, i would mean !! - maybee you could ask your private lecturer, if he is able to give the answer ??

I believe it’s very effective. A lot of people are probably going to disagree with me on this one but I believe us girls and women needs to be both handled (disciplinary wise) and taken care of gently by our men sometimes. Well, I can only speak for myself, but I know a spanking can get me from sassy, unorganised and ungrateful to soft, feminine and just a lot more considerate of others and other things than just myself. It sounds horrible, but it truly makes me feel taken cared of and loved, even though I definitely struggle against it sometimes…

Effective in my 30 year marriage. In a domestic discipline marriage. I am disciplined for straying from the set rules and boundaries. I’m safe, loved and cared for

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the Spencer Spanking Plan. Are you familiar with it?

Also, there's been some questions about why we gain a wide array of good things from erotic style pain.I couldn't begin to list all of the things that have been written about why spanking is arousing and feels good ultimately for some of us I'm sure that it's been answered a number of times here if you search for it. And it's all over Fet.

A couple of you mentioned, feeling close to your partner after a spanking.

I never feel as close to her as I do after discipline. There's nothing like it.

Again, I'm not going to repeat all the things that have been written about why but a quick search will find tons of material about hormones and others

As some who is very envious of the FLR, and will never experience it I wonder whether any of the fortunate members in this type would be prepared to give us an idea of the rules which would cause punishment if not obeyed.

I got a glimpse of one once where ,I think , a certain light had been left on which necessitated punishment. I have to say that this story left me very excited so please don't think that ANY rule would come in for criticism, no matter how minor the infringement.