Personal Ads… thoughts/opinions

I’ve tried to find serious play partners through personal ads here and elsewhere. I’ve done a lot of virtual RP, but the personal meets don’t seem to work out. I understand the concerns with privacy, safety, etc…. I have them too. Or People just chicken out 😃… I’ve chatted with others about this challenge, but I thought it might be a topic worth discussing as a group. Any thoughts or suggestions??

I have never met anyone from ads on this site. No-one close enough, but I have met a couple of ladies through chatting and getting to know them, and am pleased to say we are still in contact.

I have met others through ads from different sites, with different results. One couple who I still play with.

I guess it all comes down to chemistry and connection. It's either there or it's not. The same with connections in real life I think.

Just my two cents worth.

There are other threads discussing this or are closely related to it, including -

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;topic=2562

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;topic=115705

I almost never reply to personal ads but only make my own, let them sit, and hope for replies. These ads would be on FetLife and Reddit and Craigslist (back when the latter functioned as intended), never Zity which is the absolute worst in regard to personal ads - I have never received a promising reply on Zity).

I've had a lot of promising conversations over the years, but only two led to in-person meetings, the first just to talk during lunch with a woman into the same thing (we didn't ultimately play) and the second just for a cuddle time. My situation and what I post about are very unusual and niche, so I'm not surprised that I have never fulfilled it and never receive many replies. I think it's important to post ads, though.

It is similar with me. I get a few that are interested but something always makes it not possible to actually meet up. Especially ones that are nearby.

I sort of understand you are doing something that is mostly private and very personal to the person and then you need a huge amount of trust and connection to actually bond in a way like this. Something most people in our society would say is gross.

I met a guy a few years ago from zity. He lived up north from me but I was up in his area and met him. I will tell you I was terrified first but once we broke the ice it was so wonderful and we both loved our time together sharing something so personal with one another. It felt great physically of course but more importantly I felt like I now was not alone in liking this form of sexual release. Sharing it was incredible. It takes time to build up. I think what helped us is we both messaged each other for around a year before we met up. We both had a bond mostly formed around enemas and personal things. Then when we met in person it was then the physical part which felt very natural. I just wish we lived near to one another. I have had a few wanting to meet up but it never turned out...

Let me be open about a qualifier: the sister of someone I know went to meet a man she'd come to trust online (I won't say where) and was murdered, her body concealed in an oil barrel the man welded shut. Its condition on discovery made it impossible to tell if she'd been sexually assaulted, but probably.

So in this hypothetical (since I'm not really seeking a meet-up), I'd have to really, really trust someone before I'd consider it. That means talking to them over a literal period of at least a year, and not only online but also the phone and video chat.

Back when I was active in a chat, there were two people I came to trust at that level, one especially, and if I'd been seeking a real-life play partner, I'd have trusted this person.

Wherever Scott is, I hope he's happy. I really liked him. (Hell, maybe he's here!)

It’s a tragedy that anyone is murdered, but similar things have happened to people who have met in malls, grocery stores, through friends, neighbors, etc. But the fact remains, for every tragedy there are 1,000 untold stories where nothing happened. Most people ain’t looking to kill you.

But the fact remains, for every tragedy there are 1,000 untold stories where nothing happened. Most people ain’t looking to kill you.

So are you advocating to play the odds?

There are precautions. Meet in public at first. Ask for identification. Make sure you have valid contact info, leave it with a friend or discoverable, and make sure whoever you’re meeting knows that. Maybe that takes some of the spontaneity out of it, but it’s a precaution. Nothing, however, is foolproof.

@Rigel

You play the odds every time you leave the house. I coulda had a wreck this morning and been dead by 9am. Even if I didn’t do anything wrong, someone coulda popped me head on and its lights out. That’s life.

I’m saying don’t give in to irrational fear of everything. I’ve met people in real life I originally met online several times, and some were good, some weren’t, some were nice, indifferent, or probably hate me… but nobody wanted to kill anybody. Be cautious, sure. Just don’t be panicky and irrational.