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Two months before getting married in 1979, I went on the pill to make sure that it would be effective on our wedding day.
We wanted to wait 12 to 18 months before I got pregnant.
Note that I did not say, "before WE got pregnant." Couples today often say, "We're pregnant!" I'm sorry. You're not. Only the woman is pregnant. You can say that the man got the woman pregnant and so yes, the man played a part in the pregnancy, but he is not pregnant, only she is. One cell from the man's body, a single sperm cell, conquered the 3-4 inches (7.6-1.2 cm) from the cervix to the ovaries ahead of the pack in order to fertilize the egg. That's the extent of the man's contribution to "being pregnant." Actually, the single sperm did all the work. The man had the pleasurable task of releasing the sperm from his body. The full responsibility for the nine months of pregnancy rests squarely upon the woman's shoulders, or perhaps more precisely, upon the woman's belly, not on the man's. So, THEY are NOT pregnant. The WOMAN IS PREGNANT.
And my husband agrees 100 percent with that paragraph. And I'll let him speak for himself: "Yes, I agree 100 percent with that paragraph . . . because my wife said I do." Actually, he does. In fact, he pretty much authored that paragraph. He has been saying it for many years and I am simply quoting what I have heard him say on many occasions. He was always very supportive of me in my pregnancies.
Well, maybe not entirely during the first pregnancy when he thought my morning sickness was all in my head because he was part of the same pregnancy and he didn't feel sick at all. After his macho-ectomy, he became a much better husband, but that's another story for another day. He really did everything he could to lighten my load when we were pregnant--just kidding--when I was pregnant. He's an awesome man, an amazing husband, a terrific dad, and the most wonderful grandpa ever!
But I digress . . . back to the pill . . .
The pill made me so sick!!!!
I have always been very sensitive to medications. That is, a little bit goes a long way. I take Tylenol and Ibuprofen for headaches and pain relief. I've taken hydrocodone and even oxycodone after surgeries and they make me sick.
I've had a total of seven surgeries. My gall bladder surgery in 1985 was the old way where they cut you open from your toenails to your tonsils, and you are in the hospital for 10 days in horrible pain. In 1988, I had a hysterectomy.
After these first two surgeries, it took me a week to fully wake up from the anesthesia. I felt groggy for that full week. My husband, at the other extreme, has had 25 surgeries (yes, 25 surgeries, really) and he pops up in recovery just two hours post-surgery asking for the TV remote, something to eat, and is it too soon after surgery to have sex with my wife.
In recovering from these first two surgeries, it was the next day before I was coherent enough to focus my eyes or think clearly adequately to request a meal. I could barely answer yes-no questions.
I mentioned these horrible recoveries to the anesthesiologist just before my third surgery to repair my broken nose, curtesy of our three-year-old son. I was relaxing on the couch when he came running into the family room to snuggle with me. When he bounded into my lap, his head smashed into my nose.
The anesthesiologist was very understanding and he told me he could make it easier for me to wake up after the surgery. He said usually the anesthesiologist will just load up the patient with fairly heavy doses of everything to keep the patient completely sedated so there's no chance of waking up during the surgery.
Rather than going with the maximum anesthesia levels based on my weight, he said he would monitor my vital signs and only give me enough anesthesia to just barely keep me under. Only if it were absolutely necessary, would he drop me lower, but it wasn’t necessary.
And I woke up quickly after that surgery and four subsequent surgeries just like my husband . . . well, except I did not ask for the TV remote or to have sex with my him, but my husband kindly asked the nurse how soon he could have sex with me. The nurse told him specifically, unequivocally, and in no uncertain terms that the hospital did not allow conjugal visits. What about a little fooling around. No!!
Suffice it to say that I'm very sensitive to medications, and the pill was no different for me. I suffered with nausea, dizziness, headaches, and no libido. I could barely function.
The pill back in the 1970s still had much higher levels of hormones, thus, worse side effects. The original pill, called Enovid 10, contained very high levels of progestin norethynodrel (9.85 mg) and estrogen mestranol (150 ug). I think that was probably to make sure it was effective in controlling ovulation. In contrast, today's pill contains a huge reduction in hormones (0,1 to 3.0 mg of modern progestins and 20 to 50 ug of estrogens). For a comprehensive history of the pill, see https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3520685/
For me, in 1979, with all of its horrible side effects, the pill wasn't worth taking so I stopped taking it six weeks after I started taking it. My husband I decided to go without birth control, figuring that statistically, what are the chances of getting pregnant? I might not get pregnant right away. Many women take many months or even years to get pregnant, and we thought worst case, before any baby would be born, we would have at least 9 months to ourselves.
Bang! Pregnant!! Right away!!! We had 10 months to ourselves!!!!
I got pregnant on my second cycle after getting off the pill. And I the morning sickness was worse than being on the pill as I suffered with nausea, dizziness, headaches, and, to my husband’s dismay, low libido. My husband thought maybe the morning sickness was all in my head because he was part of the same pregnancy and he didn’t feel sick at all.
While the morning sickness put a damper on my desire for sex, my husband, who was part of the same pregnancy and didn’t feel sick at all, still had his insatiable desire to have sex at any and every hour of the day because he was a male newlywed on testosterone overload. In hindsight, we maybe should have put him on the pill for the duration of the morning sickness which pretty much lasted for the duration of the pregnancy so our desires for sex would have matched a little more closely.
And 10 months after we got married, we welcomed our daughter into the world.
We wanted to have four children. We wanted the first two to be two years apart. Then we wanted a four-year break. Then we wanted the last two to be two years apart.
Did you follow all that? We wanted the two big kids to be two years apart. We wanted the two middle kids to be four years apart. And we wanted the two little kids to be two years apart. In summary and for the last time, that’s two years between the bigs, four years between the middles, and two years between the littles.
In order to space the pregnancies, we used everything but the pill. We tried the sponge, then the diaphragm, and then the IUD, but we didn’t like any of them. The sponge and the diaphragm were awkward and inconvenient to insert at the worst possible time.
Of the three, the IUD was most convenient because, like the Ronco Showtime Compact Rotisserie and BBQ Oven – ST3000, we could just “set it and forget it.” Well, technically, the doctor set it so we could then forget it.
Fortunately, the IUD was not the size of the Ronco Showtime Compact Rotisserie and BBQ Oven – ST3000.
Unfortunately, like the Ronco Showtime Compact Rotisserie and BBQ Oven – ST3000, the IUD caused some bleeding, some cramping and pain, and some mood changes. My doctor said these side effects would most likely be temporary, not that he would know from his personal experience. In my case, with my delicate constitution, that meant that the temporary side effects would last no longer than a decade or two.
So, we ditched the IUD.
Please note: I was joking when I intimated that the Ronco Showtime Compact Rotisserie and BBQ Oven – ST3000 causes some bleeding, some cramping and pain, and some mood changes. Please, no law suits. Go ahead and buy the Ronco Showtime Compact Rotisserie and BBQ Oven – ST3000 if, for no other reason, so you can set it and forget it.
After discarding the pill, the sponge, the diaphragm, and the IUD, we mostly used condoms, which we also hated, but they seemed to be the most convenient and easy to use.
In 1979, if I had been taking today's pill with the lower hormone levels, I believe I would have stayed on it. I could have handled 10 percent of the nausea, dizziness, and headaches. In my opinion, and my husband’s opinion, which doesn’t count for anything, the pill is the most convenient and effective form of birth control.
Oh, you might be wondering how we did on spacing our four children? We came pretty close with two years between the bigs, then two years between the middles, and then four years between the littles. So, our three older kids were 8, 6, and 4 years old when the last baby was born.
We had originally hoped they would be 8, 6, and 2 years old when the last baby was born, but I got a little extra frisky 15 months after the second baby was born. In a night of passion, we calculated that if I got pregnant right then, the middles (babies two and three) would be two years apart, and, and so we threw caution to the wind, and went without the condom because I didn’t want to wait for him to put it on and, besides, I wanted the real thing. I wanted my husband without a thin lining between us.
And we figured that statistically, what are the chances of getting pregnant? I might not get pregnant right away. Many women take many months or even years to get pregnant.
Bang! Pregnant!! Right away!!! That very night!!!!
But it was worth it!
Oh, the passion, the sparks, the heat, the fire!! Woah!!
On a certain night, in the third week of October 1983, if you were looking up at the night sky, you may have seen some unusual lights flashing and flickering over the Rocky Mountains. Even today, scientists still have not been able to explain the light show in the sky that night.
Yeah, that was us!
So, our first three kids were all two years apart, and we decided to just have all four children two years apart. But I had some health issues and we were not sure if we could even have our fourth child. Then we found a great OB who worked closely with me and I was healthy enough to have our fourth, but he was born four years after the third.
And then, for medical and health reasons, I had to have a hysterectomy and birth control became a non-issue.
And we love our four children!!
My husband and I have been so very fortunate and we are blessed beyond measure.
And my heart goes out to all women who want a baby, but struggle to get pregnant. Oh, my heart aches for you.
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