LADIES: To Pill or not to Pill?

TLDR: Is the Pill worth it in a steady relationship? What's your take?

In my experience, the pill is best avoided because, no matter the promises, it does tank the lady's desire. Research seems to show behavior modification due to pill hormones; the last thing I'd want is for her to be harmed so I don't have to wear a condom. Finally, I suspect that ladies see the asymmetry - guys generally initiate but gals need to take the meds - and I can see that causing resentment.

That said, one lady took the pill to even out her cycle and relieve cramps. In such cases it makes perfect sense.

It is amazing to me how most contraception involves the woman's body (shots, sterilets, implants, pills) while males are seldom involved (vasectomies are not reversible, right?)

So what do you think? Should guys always "suit up"?

TLDR: Is the Pill worth it in a steady relationship? What's your take?

Yes definitely.

In my experience, the pill is best avoided because, no matter the promises, it does tank the lady's desire. Research seems to show behavior modification due to pill hormones; the last thing I'd want is for her to be harmed so I don't have to wear a condom.

I do not agree, I have always wanted sex every day with my husband and I have been on the pill straight from starting. I do not think any of my friends have ever complained their sex drives have been ruined by the pill so I do think you can say it just does. What research anyway, where is that?

Finally, I suspect that ladies see the asymmetry - guys generally initiate but gals need to take the meds - and I can see that causing resentment.

I am sure a lot of ladies would not trust men were telling the truth if they just left it to them, and I definitely would not. It is a good idea to just be responsible for yourself.

I deleted posts made by men taking over the topic already.

Just let LADIES answer please because that is who it is for!

TLDR: Is the Pill worth it in a steady relationship? What's your take?

Yes but it's not without drawbacks.

In my experience, the pill is best avoided because, no matter the promises, it does tank the lady's desire. Research seems to show behavior modification due to pill hormones; the last thing I'd want is for her to be harmed so I don't have to wear a condom. Finally, I suspect that ladies see the asymmetry - guys generally initiate but gals need to take the meds - and I can see that causing resentment.

Yes and no. It did give my libido a hit, but not spectacularly so. What was worse for me is the hormones became a migraine trigger. Also I wasn't a fan of taking hormones. That said, I hate condoms and they tend to irritate my hoo-ha. Between my 2nd and 3rd son, I used an IUD (non-hormonal) and that worked, for me, just great. My ex CLAIMED he could feel the string when we fucked, but he was an asshole. After the 3rd baby, I got a tubal. After my divorce I required all my lovers to wear a condom. Dr P and I eventually dispensed with one (pretty quickly actually) as we both were sterilized and tested clean for STDs. I require any other men who have me wear a condom and hub wears one if he plays with another woman.

We don't do that all that often anymore.

@Nurse_Phillips

as an aside, I could feel the IUD string during sex. The first time I hit it straight on I flew off my partner like I’d been shocked. If memory serves, I returned to condoms after it happened again. This was mid 1970s, so no idea if it was due to early designs or bad luck.

I think some form of contraception is necessary if pregnancy is a concern, for sure. I'm probably the wrong person to ask because:

- I'm surgically sterile

- Before becoming surgically sterile, I was on an IUD for about 8 years and thoroughly loved it (minus the insertion process) until my second one failed me spectacularly (embedded - cripplingly painful).

- I'm allergic to latex and non-latex condoms (at least in my previous experience) are kinda uncomfortable

Anecdotally, I successfully used the good ol' rhythm and pull out method for at least 5 years (which I would vehemently NOT recommend unless the lady in question has regular cycles and is INTIMATELY familiar with her body). It worked fine for me but it was a lot of work in the grand scheme of things and it ultimately led me to get the IUD.

Prior to THAT I think I used any and every type of "easy" contraceptive under the sun. All of it killed (or at least significantly muted) my sex drive.

My main concern is and always has been pregnancy, so the sterilization took care of that for me and these days I feel like I'm hornier than ever because it's a complete non-concern for me now.

@tmitrue i had 2 of my 3 kids due to my lack of rhythm/ pull out skills 🤣

I never did the pill. My sister, slutty whore she was 😉, had so much trouble from them (side effects) she quit using. I figured I'd probably be similar so went the condom route.

@tmitrue i had 2 of my 3 kids due to my lack of rhythm/ pull out skills 🤣

@Nurse_Phillips Our first was bad skills of some sort, timing, broken condom whatever, I never did figure out how the little rascal got to my egg. Our second child was bad communication - I thought sub asked one thing which had a "Yes" answer, when he asked if it was a safe time to cum in me. Either way I don't regret having either one of them. He sometimes also agrees.

Probably a personal experience, but I agree wholeheartedly with @Amethyst

I have always wanted sex every day with my husband and I have been on the pill straight from starting. I do not think any of my friends have ever complained their sex drives have been ruined by the pill so I do think you can say it just does. What research anyway, where is that?

I also haven’t had any personal experience of anyone’s sex drive ruined by the pill. In fact most of the women I know who use an oral hormonal contraceptive find the ‘hormonal balance/ mood regulation’ that the pill assists them with makes them want sex more. Makes sense… Less feelings of anxiety/ stress/ mood swings, more energy to think of fun and exciting things.

I am sure a lot of ladies would not trust men were telling the truth if they just left it to them, and I definitely would not. It is a good idea to just be responsible for yourself.

I trust my current partner more than anyone else I’ve ever met, but I wouldn’t decide not to control my own contraceptives just because “trust me bro”…

To answer the question though, I think it is a personal decision. I don’t like the pill, and I do occasionally find I have an adverse reaction to it (allergy to something we’re not sure what - probably a binding ingredient). I’ve been on and off the pill since I was a teen. My partner has just recently had a vasectomy so it won’t be long until we are team no pill…

But I think it’s incredibly important for a woman to choose. Her body. Her choice. If she chooses to trust her partner to control contraceptive… Good luck. If she chooses to control it herself… Good luck.