Men, no masturbating for you or your friends?

Hi men of Zity,

Do you or anyone you know not masturbate?

I’m not talking about “I’m locked in chastity and I don’t play with myself in fear of punishment” - I’m talking about “I never stimulate myself, let alone to the point of ejaculation”

I was talking with a friend of mine recently who said he has very rarely masturbated. He said as a teenage boy, he had friends who would talk about masturbating 3-4 times a day, and he would maybe masturbate less than a handful of times a year.

He says he is not asexual, and enjoys the eroticism of attraction, but does not care for masturbation. When in relationships he has sex as frequently as his partner wants without any qualms… He also says he doesn’t have a low sex drive.

He is 33 now, and says he has not masturbated since the first wave of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Please share any experience you may have… As I’ve said in other posts, I’ve been with my fair share of men and every one of them has talked about their masturbation habits, and they were all much more regular.

Do you or anyone you know not masturbate?

@NurseSammy

No. But I cannot recall it being a topic of discussion with other men, likely since I'm heterosexual.

For me it is impossible to not pleasure myself. I at one point in my mid 20s got kind of down and depressed and tried to see how long I could go... I went a few weeks with not doing anything. I first noticed I had more energy but that then I got a buzzing down there. Then I got aggressive which is not normal for me at all I am the opposite of aggressive. Then I felt feeling of anger for no reason at all. I think all in all I went a bit over a month. I will tell you it was crazy when I finally did start again my first time I kid you not I did nothing to physically masterbate. My thoughts did it all with very little touching if at all. I also noticed I totally filled the tissue with cum. I also kept dripping a long while... Once I did this I felt a total since of calm come over me. It was like I was a new guy...

First I think it's important to know/define what others consider to be masturbating. I am certain that many don't think of self-stimulation as masturbation if you don't ejaculate. I find that to be rather disingenuous and hypocritical, but others do apparently do believe this to be a valid definition.

So, if they think like this, then perhaps they do self-stimulate frequently, but without climaxing. Nothing wrong with that at all, only it is not really masturbation abstinence.

But if you truly never stimulate yourself sexually in any manner at all, then I suppose this is rare enough unless you are in some kind of clinical depression.

That said, I have never had any friends whom I could discuss such things with. There is one friend though of whom I could very well believe this. He is very strong-willed and self disciplined, has far too great a sense of Jesuit induced moral conviction and rectitude without being religious. Some of the novels I've lent him over the years, have a few tame and stylized sex scenes, such as Resistance members having brief encounters during the Occupation years since carpe diem and who knows what tomorrow might bring (SD interrogation or sent to a KZ). He expressly didn't like that at all. Plus he'd never been through our red light district until he was in his late 60s and I told him not to be a prude about taking the shortest way past the (pleasantly smiling) working girls. Even school classes on an outing to a nearby museum go through the area. But not him though ... ha ha.

So, for him, yes I do see it as a possibility.

My other friends? They will just never talk about the subject of masturbation at all.

Weren't you told that masturbation will make you go blind??? The stigma keeps people from talking about it, especially in "polite" society.

I am firmly convinced that most men and women don't talk about it - they just do it. On the other hand, some men confide in their bartenders. Most women confide in their hairdressers about everything - "only their hairdresser knows for sure". Or type about it online in Zity!

I have never heard anyone say they don't masturbate. If I ever did, I would assume that they also lie about other things. (See first sentence above.

Besides going blind I was told that it would make the hair grow in your palm. Fancy that.

I am certain that many don't think of self-stimulation as masturbation if you don't ejaculate.

Masturbation defined by Websters...

...erotic stimulation especially of one's own genital (see GENITAL sense 2) organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual (see MANUAL entry 1 sense 1) or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation (see MANIPULATE sense 1), occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/masturbation

"Commonly resulting" is key. Experience should tell some men that it doesn't always end in an orgasm. But does it stop them from trying again?

Masturbation defined by Websters...https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/masturbation

It doesn't really matter much what a dictionary says if people don't read dictionaries or look up definitions before doing something. I doubt youngsters have looked up what Websters or any other learned dictionaries say about masturbation before starting fiddling around. They are more likely to pick up their (often erroneous) notions on what it is or is not or what is proper or not from friends and peers rather than from informative books.

That is why the world abounds in 'old wives tales' and urban myths. People are more apt to believe what they hear from others, no matter how outlandish, than go looking for correct explanations.

That's why I am certain that there are multitudes of men who think that if they don't orgasm, they haven't 'really' masturbated.

It's probably one of those 'whatever gets you through the night' or squares you with your religion things.

It doesn't really matter much what a dictionary says if people don't read dictionaries or look up definitions before doing something. I doubt youngsters have looked up what Websters or any other learned dictionaries say about masturbation before starting fiddling around. They are more likely to pick up their (often erroneous) notions on what it is or is not or what is proper or not from friends and peers rather than from informative books.

But @agracier you previously tried to define masturbation https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=1420040 , post #4. I just refined your definition. I know other members have corrected and fine tuned members "definition" so that the definition is correct, better described.

But @agracier you previously tried to define masturbation https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=1420040 , post #4. I just refined your definition. I know other members have corrected and fine tuned members "definition" so that the definition is correct, better described.

In this instance I am not trying to define masturbation. I was simply trying to imagine how other people, those looking for moral and mental workarounds to assuage their consciences, probably define masturbation to themselves.

I've never discussed my masturbation habits with anyone. But, just between us, the longest I have abstained during the last 40 years is about one week.

Speaking for myself: I masturbate about five times a week. The urge for anything sexual almost completely goes away after finishing. Fellow men, you know that feeling. Sometimes I'll go a week or so without doing masturbating, other times I might do it twice a day. It does depend on fatigue, how horny I am, and how long it's been since my last 'release' with another person.

Speaking for a male friend: he is about 24 years old and pretty much asexual, but kind of an odd one. He enjoys hentai, particularly for the comically huge boobs and weird situations the characters find themselves in. He's curious and has asked my friend group about sex and sexual experiences, but claims to have never masturbated, and doesn't watch porn. For a while, a few years ago, he was in a one-sided situationship with another friend of mine. Let's call him "Patrick" and her "Cara" ...

Cara was very into him, and he was very kind to her, but he was also quite clear that he didn't want to date her, and just wanted to be friends. I was told that there were more than a few times they were together and she really wanted to do more physical things with him. For example, another friend said she saw the Patrick and Cara on a video call together, and Cara was being very affectionate, such as pulling up his shirt to rub his stomach, and trying to snuggle closely with him. Cara would also at times simply ogle Patrick when he was shirtless, or run her hand through his hair. Patrick later confessed to being extremely uncomfortable whenever Cara would do those things, but he didn't know how to stand up for himself because Cara would shut down and not take it well - at all - if he rejected her advances. He said he didn't even get an erection when she touched him! Anyway, she would get upset and give him the silent treatment for a while until he apologized. For a lot of us guys, that's a situation nearly unimaginable, especially considering that Cara is, at least to me, not unattractive.

So I believe Patrick when he says he doesn't masturbate. When he asked me some questions about how both male and female genitalia worked, yeah, that pretty much cemented that fact for me.