Couples where only one is interested

A couple of days ago I posted my experience of how my wife and I first began having anal sex after many years together, but one of the moderators let me know that personal stories of that kind belong in the Blog section and this discussion forum should be for posts that raise a specific discussion topic. So ok, let's have a discussion!

Are any others in relationships where only one partner was interested in anal play? How have you managed it and what works best for you? Did you negotiate, ask for what you want, find other outlets, end the relationship?

(My story in the Blog section is here if you're interested: https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=blog;ox=showpage;pg=8614)

To be honest, most of my partners were initially opposed to anal. I won them over by asking to receive anal first. Once they saw how much I enjoyed it and how vulnerable I was with them, they practically begged me to return the favor. This can be a gamble, but as a man, if you like receiving anal, I think you’re much more likely to have a willing partner to receive anal sec from you.

That's great that it's worked that way for you! Can I ask what gender(s) of partners you're talking about? I guess the scenario you're talking about sounds more as if it were male tops enticed into trying bottoming by how much you enjoyed it ... it's harder for me to imagine that more than a few women who were at first not into receiving anal would find themselves wanting to try it after pegging a partner. But in either case, congratulations!

At least in my case, I was really interested in both giving and receiving, and although my wife was willing to start trying finger play on me and even eventually a little bit of pegging, it didn't make her any more interested in receiving anal touch herself. (She was glad I liked it for me, but it wasn't an erogenous zone for her, felt weird, no prostate, etc.)

I'm curious what others have experienced, particularly those in monogamous relationships where you have to really navigate the tension between the exclusive commitment, respect for each other's boundaries, and the powerful desire on the part of one partner for sexual acts that aren't yet part of your shared repertoire ...

@ps34 I believe you were addressing me? I actually have never had penetrative sex (giving or receptive) with a man before. I’ve done some amount of anal play with at least four different female partners. I’ve been pegged by 3 women, but I think there’s a lot that goes along with pegging that like you said many women might be turned off by. You can do things like fingering, massage, or even play with toys that doesn’t have the same physical or D/s connotations as pegging might.

With my last partner, anal play for both of us came from an enjoyment of massage together. Other than the cleanliness aspect, I don’t think most women would be as opposed if it was part of a massage and relaxation connection. I think that like you said, it just isn’t erotic for some, but with anal, it seems many have an aversion that is connected to a learned disgust for the anus or a previous bad experience rather than an informed, well-negotiated, and gentle introduction.

Receiving first can show a partner what it’s like to enjoy it and give them the idea it’s possible as well.