Men exposed to female staff while hospitalized

Being hospitalized as a man, especially as a gay man with no attraction to women, was a deeply humiliating experience due to the lack of privacy and the predominantly female medical staff performing intimate procedures. From being catheterized and given sponge baths to undergoing genital exams and rectal treatments, I was repeatedly exposed to different female nurses without being offered the option of a male caregiver. The experience not only made me feel vulnerable and powerless but also infantilized, as if I were a helpless boy under the control of others. In some instances, it even seemed like certain staff members enjoyed the power dynamic, exerting unnecessary control over my body. While female patients are often granted same-gender care for intimate procedures, men are rarely given the same consideration, highlighting an unfair double standard in medical settings.

I'd be curious to hear from other men in hospital settings.

I'm sure there are a lot of men here who would have gladly loved to be in your position ......

Did you ever express your concerns and ask for a male nurse?

I am not sure I view this in the same manner as a hospital stay is potentially serious as there was sufficient concern to admit an individual for an elective or required procedure. I think that having a female staff attend to you whether its a nurse or doctor is not likely within one's control. They have a job to do and as professionals they do it without regard to sexual preference or gender identity, especially if this is an urgent matter. That said, the act of being examined likely causes many to feel uneasy and embarrassed. Hopefully in the future, you can express any discomfort so as to avoid further emotional distress. Good luck as your concerns are not without merit for you and others who may feel similarly uneasy.

I think anyone being examined or provided intimate care should ASK for same gender provider if that is what makes them comfortable. I usually just accept whomever is assigned to me, but occasionally I will ask for a different doctor, nurse, CNA, or tech, but usually not due to gender but for other reasons such as being rude or inappropriate. That being said male staff are not always available on a given shift inpatient or outpatient because of the low numbers of men in nursing or jobs below nursing that involve intimate care because the pay is too low or they feel that kind of work is a "woman's job".

Did you ever express your concerns and ask for a male nurse?

Always do this if you have a preference. Where I work, we do our best to abide by patient preferences for care teams. Sometimes the patients I work with are there for very not nice reasons, and a same-gender care team can be what stops them reliving the trauma they’re there for treatment of.

I have also noticed many elective-clinics are asking whether there’s a preference when registering with the clinic. For example my partner was asked if he would prefer one or another for his vasectomy recently.

I have no preference. I am just happy if I can get to see someone. Not so easy these days unfortunately

I have had both sexes present at different times for various issues when I have been hospitalized. To me they are trained medical personnel doing a job. That is all that is important. Their gender is irrelevant. I hope that when they see me they think of me as a patient first and foremost. My gender should be irrelevant to them.

When I was a teenager, I volunteered in a hospital as a candy striper and I noticed mostly much older men, exposing themselves, whether accidentally or on purpose, I didn't know at the time. Now, I think they did it on purpose, figuring they could just blame the hospital gowns for being so loose-fitting and open in the back.