Whatever happened to politeness?

I joined ZB in the hope of making friends and exchange experiences. So far I feel like the kid in the playground who is watching established little groups and being sidelined.

I have made a few "friends" on here,but despite polite follow up emails from me, I hear nothing back or get ghosted.

We are all human, even if we are a bit kinky, but common politeness surely should exist. If someone doesn't want to exchange messages via DM or mail, fair enough, but perhaps have the decency to say something rather than be blanked.

You are right

@BigBM That's unfortunate to hear. I too am quite a newbie. I have made a few online friends and do participate in discussions, comment on some photo displays and short stories. Maybe too much so in some peoples' view but I'm making up for lost time. I have found this to be the best way of making connections here. I looked at the site for some time before joining. Like any large group, real life and online, there are cliques, And longtime members tend to have higher rankings than newbies. I could see this by reading Zity.biz from day 1. Not saying it's a bad thing .More just a reality. When I joined I didn't really have high expectations about making a bunch of friends let alone meeting a real life playmate. I have been selective in choosing who to ask to be online friends but tend to be accepting of others' requests. That way ,i don't feel shut out. Some folks here have been members since the site began so it doesn't surprise me some of them are quite tightly knit. Kinda like high school .You have to earn your way into the in crowd. In the case of Enemas, that means logging at least 2500 soapy ones. LOL Hang in there. There is a wealth of knowledge on here and some fine people. Takes time.

Thankyou. Your response has given me hope.👍

For whatever it's worth--maybe nothing--women who come here are the recipients of a lot of unwanted contact from men, especially if they don't know how to block messaging or didn't bother to figure it out.

In my experience, about 80% of those messages are perfectly pleasant, despite being unwanted. And about 20% are crude or sexual.

I think I replied to one, maybe two. Was I rude? Not at all. I don't owe anyone a reply when I didn't ask for contact.

If you were having an exchange with someone and they just stopped participating, that's different. However--and I don't know what was said or anything--it's possible that something said made the other person uncomfortable enough to decide not to continue. Or they decided things were becoming too heated and they chose not to proceed. Or they're not enjoying the exchange very much. Or they're just plain busy.

Basically, I don't think people with whom we exchange messages online owe us replies, although we love to get them.

@PinotNoir Good point. The gender factor is very noticeable on Zity.biz .Not sure about the numbers but women are in the numerical minority as are Transsexuals. I'm sure women do get a lot of unwanted male attention. They do in other male dominated environments,as well. Seems to me, and I stand corrected, that, at least in the postings under ENEMAS and ASS PLAY, the only 2 sections I visit, many of the ladies that post are in relationships .This may deter some from befriending guys online. Female members likely get more friendship requests as well. Their postings certainly attract a LOT more likes. Check it out. Doesn't seem to me it matters what is posted .If posted by a lady member the likes are usually in the double digits. I would be interested to hear what non male members think about the Gender effect on Ziyu.biz ?

...common politeness surely should exist. If someone doesn't want to exchange messages via DM or mail, fair enough, but perhaps have the decency to say something rather than be blanked.

That would be a considerate thing to do, say you don't want to message. Politeness is a two way street. Be polite in your message. Be patient while waiting for a reply. Be sure to check when the member was last online. Not everyone visits Zity.biz daily. My reason for not answering, many times, is I have limited online time and answering "Hey there chicky!" messages is not at the top of my list.

...women who come here are the recipients of a lot of unwanted contact from men, especially if they don't know how to block messaging or didn't bother to figure it out.

@PinotNoir That could be a possibility. Too many looking for a way to get their pleasures from whom ever they feel they can message.

I have been a member here for 14 years but not really active for the first few. Since then I'm pleased to say I made one real friend, who sadly departed some five years or more back, & hope that I may be well on the way to making another good friend. There are also quite a lot of people here I am also on friendly terms with & often exchange views, ideas & humour. Although I have only experienced it a couple of times it is sad to record, like much else in life, that there are a very small minority if individuals whose conduct can be quite toxic, especially I think towards the women here. I understand 'No' means exactly what it says & if I can't think of something nice or positive to say I try to shut the fuck up. I hope I succeed most of the time 😃

Sorry to hear that @BigBM . As others have said a lot of people are busy with work and life in general and don't always have time to get back to messages as soon as we would like.

Hang in there. City has some good people and I am sure you will click with someone.

JIM.

@LordJim2 Appreciated. 👍

@MissStress

Well said! Thank you for your input!

I appreciate politeness but IRL not everyone is. Same with Zity. I’ve made some lovely connections here, though even some of those people bail from a chat without saying goodbye, which I find rude. I’ve cut a chat short but I try to t least say BYE. Also I’ve had several friend requests go ignored, and some messages too. But real life is the same.

Overall Zity is a positive place but it did take time to connect with people.

@GraceT Really appreciate your comment. I think maybe things are starting to improve and I think I now have 4 or 5 friends on here which I treasure.

It's like anything in life where there's always an element that spoils something a bit like wasps at a picnic. I guess. Anyway sorry to hear of your experiences and naturally understand your reluctance to engage with some folk.