How childhood suppositories affect my adult sexuality

I'd love to hear from others about how early childhood suppositories affected their sexual lives. I just can't forget getting them. It was a traumatic experience with pain and tears always, though I remember getting erections as a result of the insertion. These thoughts make me very horny these days, in fact, if I think about suppositories while having sex, I always cum really fast and hard. Is this a mental illness? I'd love my wife to finger me in the butt sometimes, she has on previous occasions but that was years ago and she won't do it any more. Am I damaged goods? Whenever I see a woman with a nice ass, I can't help but wonder if she uses suppositories or how it would feel to give her a suppository. I feel very alone 😔

Got many a supo up as child and soap sticks to if they failed to give results mum wanted got large soapy enema to follow

I think you are not alone. Not in zity. We have many people here with similar background. Me and my sister got lots of suppositories growing up. As in your case at the first we protested but gradually accomodated to the procedures and later I also started to enjoy the feeling. Also I found equally intersting when I was able to observe as my sister and cousin got the same tratment from mom and/aunty. Those early memories along with the rectal temperature and enemas definitely had effect on my sexual development and interest.

Omg this resonates with my experience sooo much! Always very traumatic then and now is so anything to have it again. ONLY IN PLAY though..

This fetish is something I enjoy by myself. And there's a long distance between it and "normal" sex. It's like my sex drive is split somehow.

I tried once to subtlely mention about inserting a suppository to this boyfriend I had, but he completely refused annoyingly saying "no, those things are for kids" so I just didnt insist anymore, and my shame couldn't make me say to him that I had a fetish about it either

The thing is I feel more aroused by my fetish than by classic sex, so its really confusing and frustrating sometimes

I don't remember erections, but I remember getting suppositories. From about 7 or 8 on when very constipated it was a full strength Dulcolax (before then it was a soapy enema). Very constipated was ~5 days or so, so there was always a very large and hard stool that the bisacodyl forced out. I use them sometimes but usually prefer enemas or other sorts of anal play. I don't know how much of my anal eroticism was baked in from birth, how much had to do with just more of my focus being on my anus and rectum because of frequent constipation (not always to suppository lengths, but frequently to 4 days), and how much might be from the suppositories and earlier enemas.

@Butthole_Surfer I grew up in an era and place where it was still common to give drugs in suppository form. I thus experienced a mixture of interesting feelings (the greasy intruder slipping in), unpleasant feelings (feeling like shitting my pants when it leaked) and shame. I think they, along with DREs received in chilhood, caused my anal interest and fantasies of getting fingered

Your story could be my story. Almost uncanny in similarity. From earliest insertions until around age 11 or 12 when by then I would get a strong erection whole receiving suppository I had a mixture of shame and embarrassment to overwhelming sexual arousal.