For the first time in months I spend the night diapered, and I woke up with a full feeling in my stomach a couple of times. Decided it would be nice to mess the diaper and fall asleep again (my husband and I sleep in separate rooms) but I only let out a few farts. Not sure if it was the position laying on my back, my subconscious mind or because this kid was constipated, but it made me fantasize about scenes where you have difficulties doing a BM and then is comforted by the caregiver or the other littles in the preschool.
I would love the intense focus on me as I strain, red faced, embarrassed, my tummy firm and hurting a bit, I cry but to no avail. Being touched, hold down, cuddled - until the teacher decides I need help. So in the middle of the playroom I am stripped of clothes, the diaper is lowered and the other kids look curious as the teacher unwraps a suppository and gently inserts in my bum before pulling the tight diaper up again. She tells them to be gentle and comfort me the best they can, so here I am being cuddled, touched and massaged by several pair of hands while i struggle to hold my butt clenched. Shortly after, my body gives up and I empty my bowels into the diaper. "Good boy, push it out kiddo" the teacher says. The other giggles as they see my diaper bulge at the butt, put their hands over in turns and press it in. I lay exhausted panting and satisfied, the feeling you can only have after a particular satisfying dump.
FWIW I started the year going on the big boys potty, but it was this firm experience that really would have expanded the diaper.
My new year resolution is to use diapers much more - maybe I should decide to not use the big potty at all when I'm alone at home.