Having being into receiving enemas for the past 35+ years, both self-administered and administered by partners, for the past 3 years, while in an S&M based relationship, I started using large volume retention enemas regularly (self-administered), usually 4 days a week during the days I was staying with my Mistress.
Purpose for these enemas were for preparation of my body for use by my Mistress as well as a sort of psychological training to assist with developing a deeper mindset of submission and obedience.
For the past 5 months or so, I have taken enemas more frequently and regimented, mostly for developing the deeper mindset of submission and obedience. At 6AM, every morning, I have been self-administering 3-4 quart soap sud enemas, alternating Dr. Bronners peppermint and desolved ivory bar soap every other day.
The enemas are administered from a 4 quart black open top silicon bag with 5 foot large bore black tubing; an internet find from approximately 12 years ago. Nozzle varies but is usually a 10 inch long black douche style nozzle. The hose clamp broke a few years ago so flow control is accomplished by crimping the hose (the hose diameter is too large for a standard clamp.)
The experience of these enemas are meant to be painful, difficult to hold and to encourage inward focus towards the discomfort of the procedure and retention. Especially when using ivory soap, I usually prepare the solution the night before in a clear one gallon measuring pitcher with the soap and salt added to water. Prepping occurs the night before to have enough time for the overall procedure the next day so to be finished and ready for the day by 7AM.
By morning, the water is usually very milky (bar soap) and at room temperature on the coolish side. The bag, hose and nozzle are always assmbled and hanging in plain sight in the shower stall. Inside the shower stall, I hang the bag on a low grab bar and fill the bag from the pitcher as I keep the nozzle high to avoid flow; the scent of the soapy mixture and sight of the soap sud head always excites me at the same time as filling me with dread.
The nozzle is self lubed by sucking on the tip and inserted prior to raising the bag. The bag is raised and hung from a hook about 5 feet above the height of where the nozzle will be; I take the knee-chest, bottom up position on the floor of the shower.
Due to the height of the bag and large hose bore, water surges immediately and cramping starts within seconds. I pant like a dog trying to accept as much of the enema as possible before needing to grab and kink the hose to slow or temporarily stop the flow. I try to make the bag volume a promise.... A promise of what I must accept in that session. No matter how I try, 1 or 2 mornings a week, I am unable to take the whole bag and then need to let half a soapy quart run down the shower drain.
The retention period of 15 minutes, as measured by a stop watch counting down, starts once the enema has been taken. I reposition to standing and facing a corner of the shower stall and start the countdown. I have learned to keep any radios, music or any other audio reference off during this time so the stop watch is the only time reference letting the enema do it's work on my body and mind.
The 15 minutes seems like forever while holding those solutions and I actually get lost in that time and the pains of the solutions inside me. When the stop watch finally signals completion of retention time, I dash to the toilet and feel such gratitude for relief and such pride in accomplishing the procedure. The ordeal is such a challenge that, most day, nothing can get my mood down.
While getting added fullfillment and a deepening mindset of submission, interestingly, I have developed a hope of enema dependnace as a deep and intimate gift of control over my body to my Mistress.
I deeply desire and thrill over the thought of the next day's morning enema as much as I dread the anticipation when I wake up and know it the experience is a few minutes away; 6AM has become a sort of execution time of a serious punishment. Yet, I need and love this in my daily life.
Anyone else with similar experiences or interest, please chime in below.