Lisaa... What you're describing, to me, is a cuckold. Lots of couples seem to enjoy that a lot. I have experienced that a couple of times, ending with me cleaning his cum from my wife's well used pussy after he was done fucking her. I guess for me, I enjoy both just watching as well as other times being involved too.
Asteria... I truly do understand your mixed feelings, and some jealousy. I loved watching my wife having sex with other men, while also with some pangs of jealousy if they were really good lovers, and/or, had cocks larger than mine. Many in-depth open and honest conversations afterward assured me she was enjoying the sex with others the same way I was... as strictly a sexual "adventure", just for the sake of sex without emotional "strings" attached. Simply meaning our deep love for each other never changed, and there was no fear of that changing. If anything, it made us more aware of how lucky we were to have each other as life partners, instead of too many couples we have seen that started taking each other for granted. Each of us shared our likes, and dislikes, we experienced with the different partners to use, or not use, between ourselves that enhanced our lovemaking. We came to the conclusion that yes, pure sex with another person can be infatuating, for lack of other words, simply because it's "different", or "new"... similar to the excitement of a new car, or new clothing, etc. But, over time, the newness wears off even though it's still very enjoyable.
I am curious, and would like clarification if you would... you mentioned Walt & Ellie, and then elsewhere said you and Ben being evolved with two other couples... all three plus you together, or you and your husband separately with each couple?
Nurse Phillips... You sound like you've figured out how to enjoy it with communication and understand like my wife and I did. :-) I'm curious which turns your husband on the most... watching you, or hearing all the details if you have sex when he's not present? That could make another interesting discussion... which partner is ok with the other having sex on their own, the male or the female? And would they want to hear all the details afterwards?
Funforus... For what period of time were you swingers? And why did you stop?