….or, the Day I was Guardian of my Cervix
My gynecology appointment was this afternoon. My doctor is great, but it was my first time seeing her after she switched offices and came back to mine.
The only thing I hate more than a speculum is having to sit and wait wearing the drape and lap sheet. Today I waited 30 minutes. I sat there and fanned myself and stared at my new tattoo. Yes. I did go to the gynecologist right after I got a tattoo.
My doc came in and was very sweet and then she said since she didn’t have her records from my previous visits she was going to do a pap. I told her no. I had one on the visit before last.
Then she asked about my iud and how it is doing. I told her my last doc couldn’t find it, so last year I had a pelvic ultrasound. She said if she couldn’t find it we would do another ultrasound. I told her no. As long as my IUD is stopping my periods I didn’t care where it is, and I hate pelvic ultrasounds because they hurt (tight pelvic floor). She was down with that and got down to business.
She did a quick breast exam, a quick palpitation, and asked me to slide down. For the first time ever, I let my knees fall open to the sides like she asked and tried to enjoy it. She slid her fingers in and felt around my cervix and she felt part of my iud. Sweet. And ouch.
Then she announced the rectal exam. She slid in, twisted, and slid out again. (Sigh)
All in all it wasn’t awful, and she said my kitty looks pink and healthy, it was lubricated, and not at all close to the dreaded M word.
Yes. I did go home and masturbate.