Prostate Exam proposition

I can't imagine we are the only ones who are interested in the mindset and emotional effects of a situation like the OP's , @Clarissa_uk especially in a scenario like his where it must have been especially intense with him not expecting prior to the day to need to have half of it done, especially when he realized about the more invasive or embarrassing parts he was going to be required to have done.

@patient_john and @clarissa_uk. I can assure you it certainly was an incredibly tense and nerve wracking experience for me, pretty much right from the start. I was a little surprised an unnerved when I was told to strip off completely and just put the gown on without any underwear even underpants, she was pretty specific about that for some reason. I was surprised by that as my wife had specifically bought me a new pair of tight white boxers to wear "for my exam", which she insisted I wore on the day, so it made me a bit nervous and apprehensive when I was specifically told to remove them right from the start as I'd sort of expected to keeping my new boxers on at least till things got well into the exam part when I assumed I'd probably just have to pull them down a little bit to let them at the necessary areas. I assumed my wife also thought I'd be keeping them on for a fair bit longer when she specifically got me a new pair ans insisted I wore those to the clinic which I think also put it into my mind also that I'd be allowed to keep them on for a while at least.

It was when I was told I'd need to have more areas shaved for my exam and then I'd need to be given a "good clean out" that I got that real feeling of shock you get where it feels like your heart is up in your throat like on one of those drop rides at the fair. I mean I was literally shaking when I realised what she meant by that. A combination of shock, nerves and even a little fear of what I'd actually got myself into and if I had any "real" choice but to just go through with it or have an annoyed and dissapointed wife if I didn't do it. I know I DID have a choice in reality but it really didnt feel like I had any real choice but to do as my wife wanted me to and just do as she had asked and "do whatever I was told to and let them get on with it", So yeah, I was incredibly nervous and shaky even by that point near the start.

That was all before the actual exam was even mentioned.

My wife had asked me not to google stuff and get myself "all worked up" before the day and that I just needed to do as I was told and I'd be fine. I am quite nervous person and so I just went with what she said and I'm not sure if knowing more would have made anything any less shocking or unpleasant when t actually came time.

I was told it would involve me getting an external exam which would then be followed by a "quick internal exam" and then I'd need to let them do an internal ultrasound scan which I might find a "little uncomfortable and embarassing"

Now that's why I assumed the boxers would stay on for a while as I assumed the internal parts would be last parts, which they were. I also took the "quick" reference to mean a quick internal exam and a quick internal scan. The manual exam was pretty quick but the internal ultrasound scan took ages or certainly felt like it did and I certainly found it way more than a "little uncomfortable and embarassing" as despite them telling me just to relax and try not to tense my muscles up "back there", I foud that totally impossible between the sensation of the probe being moved around up there and especially when it was repeatedly moved across my prostate.

So yeah, It was a bit of a shock right from the start and got more shocking real fast when the all the preparation was mentioned.

When I was maybe 12 years old, my dad said "get in the car" one day. I didn't question, just obeyed. About fifteen minutes later, he turned into a medical clinic lot and said "we're going to get a flu shot." That year, the procedure was to inject the vaccine subcutaneously. They stuck the needle in the inside of my forearm and made a blister that stung like a sonovabitch. The flu was particularly bad that year and my dad was acting in his perceived best interest for me, but it took maybe nine months before I would trust him again when he said "let's go" somewhere in a car. Any time he would mention going somewhere, I would cross my arms and say "why?" "Where are we going and what are we going to do when we get there?" My automatic trust in my dad was gone for a while, until we had enough more experience that I felt I could trust him again.

This is what I meant when I pointed out that, regardless of your wife's motivations, her failure/refusal/coverup of what was to happen in that lab tore at the fabric of trust between you. Completely different scenarios, but same issues of trust.

I get what you mean @bearbacker but I'm not sure its the case or quite as black and white as that. As I've mention already I have been asked to have subsequent exams over time and my wife Jane has made it clear that she wants me to have them done but that if Claire does suggest anything extra or different to last time then this time it's entirely up to me whether I want her to tell me all about anything like that in advance this time. To be honest, although I'm not certain yet, I kind of think I wouldn't want her to tell me about anything else unpleasant they want me to have done next time in advance as it will still be just as unpleasant either way and if I do know in advance It will just make me worry more about it in advance and still have to have it done and still find it just as unpleasant, so it's maybe better not to know in advance in truth and judy have to deal with it when the time actually comes.

So @Jamesuk If you had to choose one part of your exam for each, what would you say was the

Most unexpected part of the exam ?

Biggest shock you got on the day of your exam ?

Most embarrassing part of the experience ?

Most unpleasant part of the exam ?

Most uncomfortable part ?

Were there any parts of the experience that were less unpleasant then you had expected or maybe even just a little pleasant or exciting or even a little enjoyable ?

Do you have a medical fetish or not? COVID-19 left me with Chronic Kidney Disease so I am being followed by a nephrologist. I am in stage 3-4 with no actual treatment needed at this point. During my most recent office visit I was recruited to participate in a study at a major university. I made them tell me the hypothesis they were testing and exactly what they needed from me. The only invasive item was a fasting (growl) blood draw, with a promise I would receive a full lab report. The rest of the procedures measured blood flows and pressures in my brachial arteries, a femoral artery, temporal arteries and carotid artery in my neck. I would have to spend two hours in their lab and would be paid $60 for my time. When I got to the lab, a doctoral candidate sat down with me and made a full disclosure of about 8 pages of information and we both signed the disclosure and consent. As it turned out, they could use my data in the tested group for one study and for control groups in two others - it actually took four hours and they increased the stipend to $100. All of the elements were present for a contract and an extra c-note is always handy. I had full, documented disclosure.

They were very surprised that I knew enough about research to ask about sample sizes and hypotheses. I gave them feedback that I had a very interesting positive experience and would be open to participation in other studies in the future.

I am still following this @JamesUK I very much want to know how the sample taking felt and the electric stimulation felt. Did they feel pleasurable at all. Your holding out on us. We want to know.