Why do I always get so excited before doing it but after I finished I always feel paranoid.

It feels so good when I plan to do anal kinky play And I get lot of fun time during play. But when I finish, I always feel very bad about this. I feel like I ruin my health! I feel like I'm a freak who like weird stuffs. But what I'm worried the most is my health. I'm scared that I had destroyed my health from doing this(enema, anal play). I really want to quit but I can't. This stuff is so addicted. What should I do?

Keep doing it. Be sensible. It won’t kill you. If it did, Zity would have lost 75% of its members!

I know but it's still scared me to death sometimes when I watch a video on youtube by the doctor saying that enema could cause perforation or even kidney failure.

I know but it's still scared me to death sometimes when I watch a video on youtube by the doctor saying that enema could cause perforation or even kidney failure.

Jeez! Look at the odds - you sound scared. so don't be over agressive. More people die or are injiured from car accidents than enemas!

Don't worry, I've never seen anybody here complaining of dying after an enema.

It feels so good when I plan to do anal kinky play And I get lot of fun time during play. But when I finish, I always feel very bad about this. I feel like I ruin my health! I feel like I'm a freak who like weird stuffs. But what I'm worried the most is my health. I'm scared that I had destroyed my health from doing this(enema, anal play). I really want to quit but I can't. This stuff is so addicted. What should I do?

Don't over do the enemas and you shouldn't have any trouble. Don't use any dangerous solutions that could harm your insides.

There are plenty of members here who have had no issues. Just relax and enjoy yourself.

It feels so good when I plan to do anal kinky play And I get lot of fun time during play. But when I finish, I always feel very bad about this. I feel like I ruin my health! I feel like I'm a freak who like weird stuffs. But what I'm worried the most is my health. I'm scared that I had destroyed my health from doing this(enema, anal play). I really want to quit but I can't. This stuff is so addicted. What should I do?

This sounds more like guilt being transferred into a worry about health.

If you are doing enemas or anal insertions, just don't over do it. Never put large things inside, if an insertion feels painful then desist. Never let anything slip inside you, therefore choose objects with care, objects with a flange for protection for instance. Keep the amount of water used in an enema low say at around 1 liter, maybe a bit more.

Otherwise there is little to worry about physically.

The worry part is different and you'll have to try and figure out where the worry/guilt comes from.

My personal play time is my ONLY sexual outlet and I a very sexual person. So when I finally get some time, I quickly drop my clothes on the floor and walk around the house naked while I get things ready and prepare myself. I feel as giddy and sexually charged as when I was was younger (single) and being with a girl with whom I knew I was going to get laid. After years of "pushing the limit", I've learned to back off on the volume of enemas and sizes of insertions a little. I don't worry much about hurting myself anymore. What I DO feel guilty about is the TIME that it takes to get ready, clean out, play (usually a couple or three - or more sessions), and clean up. This can take almost all day. And since I'm a paid by the hour consultant, a day's worth of pay every week or two is a pretty big deal.

But when I finish, I always feel very bad about this.

Oh, reminds me of the dread and guilt I felt as well! Worse, I would then throw out all the enema bags I had purchased up to that point. Of course guild and bad feeling pass and then in a few weeks I'd out buying new enema bags. What a waste those cycles of buying then purging was!

As for the guilt and perceived shame of ass play, I kind of know where you are coming from. For years I would play with myself, butt plugs and dildos etc. Then when all done and had a healthy orgasm I felt like a bad person. THEN I discovered the internet and found many just like me. What a relief.

Now Zity has really opened my knowledge and experience level and I basically fuck myself almost every day and feel perfectly ok with myself. I now have butt plugs I can wear all day and sleep with one in me almost every night. Maybe I have gone a little overboard but I am OK with it. Makes my ass happy and is not hurting anyone.