National Lampoon 1986 - "Doctors by the Half Dozen"

National Lampoon 1986

"Doctors by the Half Dozen" by Alan King

That's it for my relatives, the doctors. Except for my mother. My mother, now eighty-seven, is not an M.D., but she is the true doctor in our family. Most of my brothers and nephews, when confronted with a tough case, do not hesitate to call Mom, recite symptoms, and beg her for a diagnosis. It doesn’t matter what they come up with, her treatment is always the same—give the patient an enema! My mother genuinely believes an enema is better than any medical cure known to man—and for any disease. She never played poker in her life, but she knew a good flush beat a straight.

I think my pediatrician in the 1950s believed an enema was the "universal antidote"...

I'm not sure where this is going so I'm gonna recite an old joke. At a Vaudeville show the main performer suddenly clutched his chest and keeled over dead. The MC shouted "call the man an ambulance!" A man in the audience stood up and said "Quick... Give him an enema. " "An enema" the MC said. "But he's dead!" The man in the audience says "Well...it couldn't hurt."

Did that man know my mother?

She had three cures:

1. If you were bleeding, you got a band-aid.

2. If your head hurt, you got an aspirin.

3. Anything else, you got an enema!

Jekyll doctor said:

1. If you were bleeding, you got a band-aid.

2. If your head hurt, you got an aspirin.

3. Anything else, you got an enema!

He could have been talking to my mom because it all sounds too familiar.

LOL. Oh, yes! The only thing my mom would add to that list is Vicks Vaporub, which I also hated.

If I was sick

Mom said "ENEMA"

DAD said "SHOT OF WHISKEY"

When I was sick, mom said:

"Time for an enema"

dad:

"Your mom knows what's right for you"

Poke around some of your old copies of NATIONAL LAMPOON from the 1970's say about 1975. NL did a satire on sex mags or something like that. They had a satirized photo of a woman getting an enema while tired up.