Staying still during a punishment

I have been in a relationship with my sub girlfriend for more than a year but she still has a lot of trouble staying still during her punishments. Do you have some advice? I don’t like to tie her up or restrain her in any way. However during spankings she puts her hands in the way or she even gets up and tries to run away.

Some reactions are involuntary, but in my experience neither of the above are. Kicking and squirming can’t be helped, but jumping up or putting hands back can.

My advice is to train it out of her by simply stopping the punishment and starting over again after a few minutes, adding severity to it until she can stay in place and keep her hands down. Make sure, however not to resume when she asks you to, but rather when you are ready. Alternatively you could pin her wrist and leg … she might be trying to get you to do that, have you asked her?

Guess I’m lucky.

I have an enemate who loves a good sound spanking after her enema sessions. She lies perfectly still and silent until I hear a few sniffles.

With her butt a deep red and sporting a few bruises, I have her stand nude facing the corner until she calms down. Then I pull her back over my lap, spread her legs and masturbate her to orgasm.

Somehow they seem to go together for her and her hugs and kisses after are proof.

I have been in a relationship with my sub girlfriend for more than a year but she still has a lot of trouble staying still during her punishments. Do you have some advice? I don’t like to tie her up or restrain her in any way. However during spankings she puts her hands in the way or she even gets up and tries to run away.

Is she trying to get you to chase her or restrain her? Have a conversation about it. "Why are you running away during our sessions? If you continue, I'll have to..."

I have tried to talk to her and she said she can’t help it. When she does that I usually just let her calm down for a bit and then we proceed. Thank you for the advice, I will try to add extra swats if she does that again

Maybe she’s trying to control you?

That's a hard one. So many clips online depict someone just taking their correction without much movement or verbalization. I remember trying my best to hold position while my mom corrected me, but sometimes that was much easier said than done. I cried, I fidgeted, etc. That said, she knew I was trying and helped guide me through each and every correction.

Maybe she’s trying to control you?

how would she control me by running away?

By letting you know you're not really in charge....espescially if she's able to get away. Tie her down once and see how she likes it, then let her know that will be the norm in the future if she continues the bad behavior of running away.

how would she control me by running away?

Because running away stops the punishment and puts her in control of the situation. It is very possible for subs to “top from the bottom” by reacting in manipulative ways. Putting hands back is the same thing. These reactions can, actually, be controlled unless you are giving a severe caning or something.

It’s up to you how much you want to tolerate. This is why if she runs off or puts hands back you should be the one to decide when the punishment resumes. Perhaps place her in the corner until you are ready. That takes the control back away from her.

. Tie her down once and see how she likes it, then let her know that will be the norm in the future if she continues the bad behavior of running away.

He already said he didn’t want to restrain her, though. There are other ways to stay in control. The biggest thing is not to let her make you angry. Calmly take her to the corner and tell her the spanking will resume when you decide and not before, and now it will be with a harsher implement/ longer/ harder, and that it won’t end until she learns control. Even if it has to continue another day or time.

Thank you, I haven’t thought of it this way, I just let her decide how much time she wanted to take before resuming, but I won’t from now on. I am not that good at dealing with this because when she acts like this, it makes me mad but it also makes me feel guilty because I thought that maybe I was hitting her too hard. But I never used anything else than a belt.

Make sure you’re using a safe word so she can give you a signal that she really wants you to stop

Make sure you’re using a safe word so she can give you a signal that she really wants you to stop

That goes without saying. Perhaps a better approach is to Use Yellow to ease up vs running away and Red to stop. Gives her a better out without disrupting the scene.

Yes but should easing up be up to her? I mean it’s a punishment after all..(I am open to change my mind I’m not that good at all this 😃

I would first question her desire regarding being the sub or bottom. Is that what she wants? Does she expect to be punished in ways other than spanking? Or is she taking on the role of being purposely disobedient as part of the play? Or is it beyond play to a 24/7 way of life? One that she doesn't care for?

In play with a mistress I am the bottom. But it's play, I agree with what will happen. I have attempted to shield my bottom from her spanks as part of the play, as part of my role knowing mistress will not be happy with my interference. But I am not trying to stop the spanking. Is your girlfriend trying to completely stop the spanking? If so, go back to what I first stated. Do she really want this?

On the other hand, mistress has taught me how to take a hard spanking. Not easy, takes practice! But I must stay relaxed, no clenching. It hurts more. And breathe deeply in each spank and exhale. May seem silly, but it works.

Or just maybe you need to spank less hard? And one should be able to tell by the body language if it is getting to be too much. And as suggested, safe words.

The best thing I can think of without pondering for awhile, is to have a frank and open discussion with her. Be honest with her if you find her struggles stimulating an arousal of your own and ask her if that in turns her on as well. In my mind it would seem the best thing is to have a calm and very honest discussion with her. It certainly works for mu husband and myself on any behavioral issues that crop up., Denise

Guys this is totally consensual. We did talk about this, she said she just can’t control her reactions, we do have a safe word that she could always use but she never has. I sometimes think that she does it on purpose just to make me angry because I give her some time to calm down, and she always gets back into position by herself, no need to force her

@qwerty29

You can also experiment with a few different implements like hairbrushes (solid wood) or wooden spoons. Both have a very nasty sting but are easy to control. She may be able to take them easier. I suspect she is bratting you on purpose though. I had a girlfriend years ago that I spanked that used to get wild and crazy with kicking and flailing until I got an adult spanking and learned that although it does sting A LOT, you CAN actually stay still and control yourself. After that, I got a lot more strict, and my girlfriend was very appreciative of the new strictness. I suspect once you clamp down, yours will be as well, and the bond will grow between you.

@oldskoolotk thank you for your help, I appreciate a lot. I will let you know if being more strict will work

I wish i would have had a “safe word” when i was a kid and mom was chasing me around the back yard switching the back of my legs! No way could could stay still for that punishment!