I just wanted to recount what happened at my first Pap smear. I scheduled an appointment for a regular annual physical.
When I arrived at the office, I checked in with the receptionist and she announced “you’re here for a physical,” which did create some embarrassment. I felt sort of self-absorbed to be taking up a doctor’s time when I’m not really ill.
The nurse called me back and did the usual weight, blood pressure, oxygen level and temperature check. She asked me when the date of my last menstrual cycle was and I told her about a few concerns I had. She asked if I wanted to have a pelvic exam and I said “whatever is recommended”. She asked if I saw a gynecologist and I said no.
She put the blue cloth gown and white drape on the exam table. She put the speculum and other supplies on the cart right next to it. She said she’d ask my NP if she wanted to do a Pap smear or not, and shortly returned to the room telling me to take everything off and put the gown on, open to the back, with the drape over my lap. She clarified that I can leave my socks on. After a few minutes rifling through drawers to find the speculum light, she asked me if I had any questions about the gown. I said no, and she left for me to get changed.
Before I even had time to get my shirt off, the NP walked in the room asking if I was ready. I said “not really, she just left a second ago,” and she told me to just keep getting undressed while she sat down. She was sitting down at the computer and the nurse walked back in the room while I awkwardly tried to hold the untied down up and take off my pants. I didn’t have a chance to take off my underwear when the NP asked me to sit on the cloth chair next to her computer. She talked to me about the issues I had brought up and clarified that I was not sexually active and never had been, and that I had never had a Pap smear before.
She had me sit on the table and checked my nose and throat. She got annoyed with me for jumping back and gagging when she put the tongue depressor in my mouth. She had me drop my gown to my waist and lay down for the breast exam. She didn’t bother covering me with the sheet, which surprised me. She had me lift one arm at a time and felt around the entire area, explaining that I can check myself in the shower. She had me then awkwardly stand up with the gown half on, half off and told me to take off my underwear, and she’d go get the nurse. They both walked back in while I was still trying to get my underwear off, which was very awkward. She had me climb back up on the table, lay back and scoot down. She placed my feet in the stirrups and showed me the speculum, explaining how she’d open it and take a sample from my cervix.
She said “you’ll feel my hand,” which I did, and then she put the speculum in and started opening it. It hurt pretty bad. It stung, and the nurse kept saying “breathe, breathe” while I was squirming and gripping the cloth drape over my abdomen. The NP said “if you can count to 10, then I’ll be out of here.” I counted to ten, but she still had to take it out and put it back in and open it even wider to readjust it. She said “hopefully I got some cells” and then finally took it out, maybe 30 seconds later.
She then showed me her two fingers covered in gel and explained “now I’m going to use gel to insert my fingers and check your uterus.” She slid them in and I couldn’t really feel anything besides her other hand pushing on my abdomen. It only lasted a few seconds and then she had me sit up. She said I looked pale and made me sit there for 5 minutes because she thought I might pass out or something. She finally left so I could get dressed, but she walked in on me again as I was getting dressed to leave referral papers for me.
I wanted to get a chance to take pictures, but since everything was so rushed, I only got one of the exam table with the drape and everything laid out. It’s not that interesting but I can try to post it anyway.