Motivation for Domination

What motivates you to erotically dominate someone else? What feelings do you experience during and after a session or, if you live "the life", when you think about it during a day.

Open to all, but I am most interested in the women's point of view. That doesn't mean I, and/or others, won't read and consider a male point of view. Maybe save the submissive's/bottom's POV for another thread?

Well this is an interesting question.

I have always considered myself to be a submissive ( hence my user name).,however about a year ago now, a friend suggested I should try to be a Dr to him occasionally.

This friend is also my Dom. However the request was not made as his " Dom persona" nontheless ,I suppose if I am truly honest, I only agreed because I wanted to please him.

Turns out I actually do enjoy it.

I also have a sub, again this was during a chat with him, he told me he craved a woman to humiliate him , so again as a way of pleasing him I agreed to become his Domme.

Feelings I experience?

During a session I am very much " in the zone" almost like an actress I suppose.

After session I am always surprised at how aroused I am and will often mastrubate whilst rewinding the consultation in my mind.

Good question! In our home my wife and I have a fairly 'democratic relationship'! Domination anyway is not really a part of our living arrangement in general broader sense! Though it does come into play I suppose in some of our role play which centers primarily around spanking anyway.

Open to all, but I am most interested in the women's point of view. That doesn't mean I, and/or others, won't read and consider a male point of view.

Males can be a Dom as well so giving their view would give weight to both sides of the topic.

Now a bit for my reason for Dominating my sub. I am more comfortable being in charge. Being the organizer and such. It just is who I am. Being the firstborn, the guardian of the younger siblings, was my role and it just carried over into adulthood and marriage.

Maybe after thinking about it I'll come up with more to add.

Being somewhat of a control-freak.... liking to have all my things in their proper place..... everything neat and clean....

I am more of a take charge kind of person. Everything has it’s place so maybe I have a little OCD at times

@Rosario I love how You think as a submissive male...feel free to contact me if You wish...I would live it! I love being put in my place by a Dominant wonan!

I never thought of myself as a domme, although I have often enjoyed being on top during sex.

But my husband confessed to me a little while ago that he'd like me to treat him as a little/baby girl. At first I was shocked and a bit petrified - was he really a man? What happened to the man I loved etc. But when he explained his feelings, and we started to experiment a bit I found I actually loved it.

I think it's the power over someone who is physically much stronger than me.

Power is quite the aphrodisiac.

Mine started off in college found myself in a FWB relationship with a lecturer even though I hate to admit it sometimes.. still very much new to the whole domination concept. He was a submissive male always being, he always told me about kinky ways to have sex and how much people are into it that I didn’t know about.. we were together secretly for about three years it was truly incredible and life changing now these days I find myself craving such relationship it’s a feeling I can’t help i still try to play sometimes but i haven’t found anything a stable partner so far

@Shannon25 I would love to serve a Dominant woman*

@ Shannon25 I am a bit too old & definitely several thousand miles too far away to help but I sincerely hope you find the partner you desire. Finding vanilla sexual partners can be fraught enough but opening up about your D/s & any other kinks requires a degree of courage I certainly haven't always had. Good Luck. Al.

I started as a sub but very quickly learned I was too independent and opinionated for that to work. I then started to top. This is not a lifestyle choice for me as I simply have too much going on to dedicate the time and effort a full-time sub needs. This is strictly a sexual, playtime thing.

Why top? Power! I love having a larger, stronger male consent to and submit to my desires. Seeing him fully erect and straining , having to wait until I allow him release is the greatest turn on for me. And I love when I push him past his limits and he simply loses it and takes me.

I love You Dominant attitude...and would gladly submit and accept the erotic torment of tease and denial.

So for me, I thinking being a Dom comes from several things. First, a deep need to be seen and understood. To be admired even for what I want and how I can craft an experience. To be sought out for the thing you can provide. I think it also is very important that I really intuitively feed off the energy of the other person in the scenario. They are few turn ons better than knowing I am turning them on, that I am able to fulfill their needs and hopefully surprise them a little, to meet a need they didn’t even know they had. But all of that plays in to the other critical point, a deep desire to be in control.

I tend to agree with the notion that we often seek out control because we don’t feel it in our lives outside of “the fantasy.” There are so many things in life that are simply up to chance and fate. It feels liberating to be able to go into a scenario where you have everything figured out and under control, where it all is going to plan.

And yes I take deep enjoyment from doing all that work, for weaving the whole thing together. Letting the other person simply enjoy, liberating them to express themselves as they want. That is deeply fulfilling.

One reason I like to Dominate a girlfriend is an ego trip. For example, if a girlfriend is willing to let me spank her, that tells me that she respects me and trusts me.

I also like to teach my friends and my girlfriend things. Sometimes by dominated my girlfriend I can teach her something. I have given essays as punishments in the past.

I love being a dominant woman because it allows me to fully own my confidence, boundaries, and voice. Dominance, to me, isn’t about force..it’s about self-assurance, clarity, and leading with intention. In a world that often asks women to shrink, I’m choosing strength and certainty feels empowering.