Relationship Jokes - if you gotta put up with them, might as well laugh

Went to my favorite little dive bar a couple afternoons ago. I had not seen my favorite barmaid in the whole world for a long time, but it was my lucky day, there she was. We have been friends for a long time and I started to chat it up as we always do. She’s a woman in her 60s who loves to tell me stories about her life.

Today, she's griping about her marriage. Her husband is controlling, spends too much money, and never has a nice thing to say about her.

She says, "We don’t even sleep in the same room anymore. All we do is have hallway sex. Ever heard of that?"

Me: furrowed brows

Her: It’s when you pass each other in the hallway and yell "Fuck You!!!!"

A man runs home from work.

The second he gets home he finds his wife of 20 years, takes her into the bedroom and throws her on the bed, and pulled some blankets over them.

The wife was shocked, the man hadn't been this way since they were young!

Then the man turns to her and says: "Look! My new watch glows in the dark!"