My ageplay origin

So for me it's like this: I practice ageplay because my childhood was really a pure nightmare for me. I can't and won't go into it any further, because these are topics that don't belong in this forum , just this much: I was pretty close to the edge, but then ageplay became like my lifeline! When I become my “little me”, I basically replay my childhood , but this time in a better/prettier way. I'm just trying to compensate for my bad/dark past, which works very well for me. In addition, it is now a great balance to my very demanding job, in which I usually have to be very dominant.

I can fully understand; grew up with csa some of which pretty sadistic I can relate to the benefits of RP and its been big benefit for me personally.

For myself … my fantasies began in early childhood, and were very vivid. In those days, the fantasies largely involved myself, as I was then.

As I got older, I remained a kid in my fantasies. For me it just felt right, and natural, and exciting. I never imagined it could be any other way.

I was grateful to find people like myself on the internet, though I have also been shamed for my fantasies (by fellow kinksters!) as well.

For myself … my fantasies began in early childhood, and were very vivid. In those days, the fantasies largely involved myself, as I was then.

As I got older, I remained a kid in my fantasies. For me it just felt right, and natural, and exciting. I never imagined it could be any other way.

I was grateful to find people like myself on the internet, though I have also been shamed for my fantasies (by fellow kinksters!) as well.

It just goes to show that there are despicable assholes even among those who are supposedly more open-minded than the general population. I mean, it's normal/expected not to all share the same kinks, but to ridicule/shame fellow kinksters? Ugh. I find that despicable.

I’m finding myself attracted to women decades younger than me, despite being almost 70. (Young adult females, not minors). It reminds me of my younger days, which were definitely more enjoyable.

Unfortunately, not even one of them has ever expressed a reciprocal interest. In all, I’m not sure that I would want to be young again. I wouldn’t want to have to deal with the unnecessary pressure created by today’s world.

I’m finding myself attracted to women decades younger than me, despite being almost 70. (Young adult females, not minors). It reminds me of my younger days, which were definitely more enjoyable.

Unfortunately, not even one of them has ever expressed a reciprocal interest. In all, I’m not sure that I would want to be young again. I wouldn’t want to have to deal with the unnecessary pressure created by today’s world.

But what if you knew then, what you know now?

For me it was more of a factory setting. I don't really remember a time I wasn't at least fascinated by diapers and the possibility of wearing them. All the way back to 5 yrs. old I remember wanting to wear diapers and act younger than I was.

I don’t know the origin. I just like that time and fantasise about me as a child.

@Little_Emily I am very sorry for the trauma you went through as a child. My age play origins/"interests" are similar but, I think, definitely not the same.

I experienced trauma as a child too. My father was an alcoholic, and things were quite bad from when I was about 6 all the way until after I turned 13. I believe that my emotional development was stunted or even halted. So that while my friends and peers matured (emotionally), I saw myself as younger and younger, relative to them. Partially in terms of interests, but more so in terms of seeking security and supervision, rather than freedom and independence. My self concept, has always been that of a pre-pubescent boy. Which fits, even at 13, since I was a very "late bloomer". So, to me the difference between 11 and 13 is mere degrees, not a distinct difference between periods of my life.

I also relate to @drooaygah in that I was fantasizing from an early age as well and, generally speaking, the way I saw/see myself in my fantasies has never changed. Even as I grew older. So, for me, age play isn't something I *do*, it is something that I live. Even when I am "playing" with someone where there is no overt role play, in my mind I am still going to that image of myself as a pre-teen/tween boy, and experiencing the activity through that lens. In fact, that is very true of most things in my life. With friends, with work, with leisure time, I am experiencing them all through the filter of seeing myself as a boy to this day.

@Little_Emily I'm sorry for what you went through. But I hope you're having fun in your safe place today, which is your Little Space. In my profile I write about some of the things that I think made my ABDL side blossom. There were several things that happened, also in my childhood. Things like cartoons, a younger sister, and growing up around lots of little kids.

Honestly… that’s how it is for me too.

I am pretty sure that I wrote about this in another thread/topic, but for me it’s also a thing that stems from my childhood. I missed out on a lot of stuff in my early years and think that diapers, pacifiers and those kind of things became a substitute for love and care. Maybe my mind made a link to those items and has mistaken them for love and care, I don’t know. All I know is it was very early on that I had an affinity with the above and always wanted to have them in my life. When puberty hit it became sexual and that complicated things very much. A very confusing time to be honest. I was looking for myself, not knowing who and what, and also how, I wanted to be and had a side dish of ABDL-struggles as well. Not to be all dramatic about it, but looking back it was pretty hard on that young dude.

Still I am happy that I found this awesome ‘hobby’ and lifestyle, cause it still cushions the blows in life, sets my mind at ease, makes me more confident when I go out sometimes and makes my solo sex life a lot more fun.

Spike