Boyfriend wants MFM

He says he thinks I'd like it. I don't think I would, but he keeps mentioning it. I wonder if he just wants MM contact “by accident?”

I'm not among those who'd say such things as “don't knock it until you've tried it”. Over time, we just know ourselves well enough to know that something simply isn't appealing to us. If you don't think you'd like a threesome with another man, then trust your gut. Is it a hard limit for you, then? If not, maybe you could try it once and draw a final conclusion a posteriori. If you've known your boyfriend for a while, you should be able to know whether it's his true intent (i.e. wanting physical contact with another man). If it's really what he wants, would you be willing to just let him have that experience with another man without you having to be there?

I If it's really what he wants, would you be willing to just let him have that experience with another man without you having to be there?

I would concur with Sadistic Daddy. Give him the green light to have a MM experience and see where that goes. If he is suggesting having a guy join you, then, I think it is kind of a way for him to get permission to have a sexual experience with another guy but with your approval.

I would be willing to speculate he is working through his own sexual issues with regard to being bisexual. I say give him the space to go down that road and see where it goes. Trying to suppress his urges will only cause stress for the both of you. And if he goes through this process and comes out on the other side being comfortable with being bisexual, you need to either accept it or be prepared to walk away if can't live with it.

It doesn’t necessarily mean he wants MM contact. Asking him if that’s what he wants and giving him your blessing if he says yes is a great idea. It will get you discussing it. If he says no, it may be that he has a fantasy of you being his slut. That’s fine and if you don’t want to do it that’s fine too. Just be aware some men have this fantasy.

So what is so wrong with wanting MM sex? Few people seem to be 100 percent straight or gay. Why does society seem more accepting of two women together than two men? It seems no one bats an eye when there is a FMF combo but frowns upon a MFM combo. So what, just because men or women may be attracted to their same sex does not necessarily make them gays or lesbians forever thereafter. People should not have to be relegated to being a gay or a lesbian just because they may be attracted to their own sex some of the time. It is just an expression to human sexuality.

The only way to know is to try it out. That is his deal to decide not anyone else's. He has some decision-making to do involving his sexuality and relationship with you.

I ask you though. Could you handle it if he tried it and liked it or even just tried it? This seems to be the real question. Think it over and have a discussion about your emotions and values with yourself. Write things down could you handle being with a guy that does it with other partners? Could you share your partner? Would you like the possibility of having a sexual possibly romantic relationship with a second man simultaneously? How do you feel? After that is decided the two of you can talk about your relationship. Be honest with yourself and your partner. There is no such thing as feeling the wrong way. It is how one feels.

There's also the possibility he's not interested in any M2M sex, just wants to see you with another guy (e.g. watch) or to try DP (or something like that). If you're not comfortable with it - don't do it regardless if you'e worried about M2M sex or just worried about being with two guys. It's your body!

Maybe someone has made a proposal similar to….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HumfQ0xklFU

Bad princess makes some good points. it is always a big decision to involve another person into a committed relationship . things change and you need to be comfortable with where you are at and who you are before you start I think . I'm curious and wife and I have discussed various scenario's but just haven't had the opportunity to go any further

A number or years ago I was in Dallas… for an event… not a really sleazy motel… Got a deal! As I was getting ready to head out… I heard talking from next door! We shared a locked door. Curiosity got the best of me… There was a 3 way going on next door! MFM! The wife was concerned about the MM stuff! When the visitor left… she was ALL over her significant other… At that point in my life I was playing with many women… And wish I'd have knocked on the door and mentioned that I'd LOVE to fill in! Wish I had taken the opportunity… one of life's regrets!

@latchon2me : If he's only after MM sex, he'll get it somewhere else if need be. I think it's a fine move of his to involve you. MFM sex may or may not mean many things. It doesn't necessarily have to end in DP, nor does it have to end in MM. So everything is possible and therefore very exciting.

Tread carefully.... think about unintended outcomes....once the genie is out of the bottle you can't get it back in.... sadly, in my opinion and from experience, something is lacking when extra-curricular activity is wanted. Sorry to be downer...

It would be useful to know more about the length & health your relationship with him. Opening up a relationship beyond the pair of you could be opening Pandora's Box. Does he have same-sex urges he'd like to explore or seek your tacit approval of? Or is he straight and just wants to see another guy fucking his wife, pretty common. When a husband drags his unwilling wife off to a swinging party, a quite common story is that to her surprise she loves the variety etc, whilst he quickly feels insecure at this and tries to put the brakes on the idea he actually started. You just don't know how it would all play out.

I think you should talk about this first. What does he want/not want the extra guy to do and with who? If he has same sex leanings, which I'm not saying is wrong, I think it might be good for you to know that fact first before you decide how OK you'd be with witnessing this.

@BulgeInPants When a husband drags his unwilling wife off to a swinging party, a quite common story is that to her surprise she loves the variety etc, whilst he quickly feels insecure at this and tries to put the brakes on the idea he actually started.

Sounds like you have some experience there - would enjoy hearing about it. I can relate as having experienced it myself.

Sounds like you have some experience there - would enjoy hearing about it. I can relate as having experienced it myself.

@reddevil No not personally experienced, but know others who have. There will many here who have successfully opened a relationship up to others and enjoyed it, in which case good luck to them, plenty of folks will be envious. But I do think it's a high risk experiment, especially where potentially unwelcome changes in sexual preferences are hinted at, as in the OP. Better to have that discussion before there's another body in the bed.

I recently met a guy of around 60 who soon explained he could still never settle for too long with a female partner as he always thought there might be a better match/offer just around the corner. One he hated to think he might forever miss out on and so could never stopped looking out for. His latest partner had understandably given up on ever getting commitment from him, even at that late stage in life.

The risk in always looking for something better in life is that you may never appreciate what you have and could actually end up with nothing.

I recently met a guy of around 60 who soon explained he could still never settle for too long with a female partner as he always thought there might be a better match/offer just around the corner. One he hated to think he might forever miss out on and so could never stopped looking out for.

You'd think that by 60 people would have learned that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence ... is that naive optimism on his part or being in a state of constant discontent?

You'd think that by 60 people would have learned that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence ... is that naive optimism on his part or being in a state of constant discontent?

Yes it was quite a tragic situation to behold. A not unlikeable guy, but no oil painting either, quietly pissing off the latest nice women looking to settle down for good but who he was teaching to mistrust him. We may all read the reviews and compare notes with others when looking for our next Car, Holiday, PC etc. But when you've settled for one it really is best to stop searching the market.

Not enough information. Since this is purely speculation, I'll jump in. There can be any number of experiences he is looking for and MM could be one. There are quite a few males that get off on men looking/doing at their girl. There was a guy at the ABS that was hard as a rock sucking another guy and jacking off, but he did not cum until he showed us pictures of his girl. That's what he wanted. We won't know, at least for now...

There are quite a few males that get off on men looking/doing at their girl.

Yup! I'm one of those! For a variety of reasons - it makes her look more erotic/sexy in my eyes/mind, it makes her seem like someone new, a stranger to me, the power she has over the stranger excites me, it seems something naughty for a husband to do, oh and yes, I like seeing the guy get hard what his perkeroo looks like... ETA - there's an element of my being cuckolded that excites me; that the stranger is able to excite her more than I can do...

I am a Bi male.I had a girlfriend,a few years back,who I told her I was Bi sexual,she was so excited and wanted to watch me and my best friend have sex,he did not agree,as he was very DL about being Bi.But we broke up,but she still wants to watch me & another(togeather) she calls me often too.