Telling Girlfriend?

I realize this is a question asked every day in the AB/DL community, but I don't know what to do.

I don't even want her to participate. I'd be too embarrassed for it to be fun, and she already said when we were joking around that “pee stuff” was too much for her. Our sex life is vanilla, but I enjoy it. I never want to overstep her boundaries. I just want to be able to be honest with her and not have to hide, because I can't imagine hiding this forever. I've tried giving it up but it's really the best stress-relief in the world, and I don't want to move in with her without disclosing this part of myself.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 years now. I love her a lot, and I don't want to lose this relationship, though I know it's a possibility. I should have told her earlier, but I've never told anyone before so I never had the courage. I'm worried I'll break down and cry tbh. I'm ashamed of this side of myself, and I know how weird it must look to an outsider. But I don't want to freak her out by acting like it's a huge weird thing either, because at the end of the day it's just a fetish.

In the event that it's be too much for her I'd totally accept it, but what scares me most is that she could tell people. I like her family and friends, and I wouldn't want them to know.

If you have any advice or experience with the subject, I'd love to hear it.

To start with this is my opinion for a diaper fetish and a relationship. It's totally different than a MEDICAL NEED. I'm assuming that it's just a 100 % fetish for you.

Yes I think you should have shared with her way before this. I also assume the you are totally, truly in love with each other after dating 4 years.

If she is truly in love with you then why would she tell others your fetish? Everyone has something hidden in a closet. Just be prepared if she doesn't accept this.

Ask yourself, is the diaper fetish more important than your relationship. Is there something else that can replace this fetish solo or involving her?

I would think that there would be something that you could do together to relieve the stress, especially living together. Ask her if she has any ideas, or thoughts. By this point both you should be able to communicate in an adult manner.

I'm a DL that enjoys wearing diapers, BUT I'm also totally urinary incontinent and have a legit MEDICAL NEED for wearing diapers. If I truly love this person and had to pick which one, then I would let go of the fetish. A fetish CANT replace true relationship.

This is my opinion only and want wish you luck.

I was there 44 years ago. Secretly indulging in my diapers while dating, Keeping an iron lid on this dark part of my life. My then girlfriend and I were dating for 3 years and I proposed. She was overwhelmingly happy. I was painfully torn. Knowing my secret would have to come out.

I decided to go cold turkey on my diapers for a month to see if I could let it all go. I figured if I could go a month there was a good possibility I could put it all behind me. I packed up all my goodies and forgot about them. …for all of about an hour. I went a few days and was really suffering mentally. Totally stressed out. The clock was ticking on our wedding day and I just kept getting more and more worried and stressed. I finally came to the realization that my diaper desires were too strong to deny. It was then that I realized this was part of me as much as my arms and legs. I made the decision that I had to tell her. I couldn't live a lie for the rest of my life and live happily. It just wouldn't end well. I felt that it probably wouldn't end weel if I told her either. So I made up my mind to confront her and confess my big dark secret.

We stopped at my place before a date and I stammered and stumbled trying to find the words. I ended up breaking down sobbing. I couldn't have made a worst impression If were to try. I told her I had something very bad to tell her about me. But it was important that she know before went one step further together. I bared my ABDL soul figuring this was the end of our relationship. But I knew this was better than a big lie to her and me,

I can't say that your girlfriend will respond as my now wife did. It broke her heart to see me in so much misery. She thought I was dying of some health issue when I began to tell her. (to me it is a terminal health issue). When she found out she embraced it and my abdl needs. And we have been soul mates ever since.

WARNING!! I was prepared to let her go and move on in my life. It would break my heart, but I saw no good outcome in lying to myself and her. That was my thoughts on the likely outcome. I would have lived with it although it would have hurt me deeply. I must also say she told me years later that she thought she could “Fix Me” and make it all go away. Of course, that didn't work. I would make a point of telling her that also. You won't change (most likely).

For me the truth about my abdl life was the only answer. I had to admit to myself that I have a problem that could be insurmountable in a marriage. This was the right decision FOR ME only. My abdl needs have caused TONS of problems in our marriage. At times I still wonder if I made the right decision. But then we're still together and have lived our lives better together than many people we know. Our regrets are few.

Please. Don't take this as advice. This is just the path I took. It worked out. But it could have turned out much different. I was prepared to accept that outcome. Life ain't simple sometimes. In fact, it's downright tough. Only you can make the “right decision” for you. In your heart you will find the “right decision” it might be horribly painful (it was for me and could have been for worse) but when it's passed you can look back hopefully at ease that you did the right thing. Good luck on your decision….

Similar story here. After many cycles of diapers…new girlfriend…binge and purge…trouble with girlfriend…buy more diapers…repeat. I decided by about the time I was in my mid-20s that I was never going to give up my diapers. I decided from that point on, if I was ever going to have a lasting relationship / get married that the girl would have to know about my diapers. I had no intention of lying about it, hiding it, or having it accidentally discovered later on. That wouldn't be fair to her, and it wouldn't be fair to me, either.

So, I decided that, going forward, if any relationship got to a certain point, I'd just have to tell her. And if she got up and walked out, oh well, at least I have my diapers. (I've said for years that “girls come, and girls go but you always have your diapers!”)

And that's what I did, very similar to Mr. Metoo, below, I finally told her and she didn't care, she said she'd seen far worse, this wasn't harmful, and she was even intrigued by it. So, I went and got out my diaper box and let her diaper me and she actually found this to be rather arousing. Since then, her interest in it has come and gone, but she's always known it's part of me and never cared one bit whether I enjoy it or not.

She's actually so used to it that she pays no attention to it, and I now almost wish she did have more of a reaction (I'd enjoy the humiliation).

So that's my opinion, after a certain point you need to be honest and risk losing it all--but that's better than pulling her into a committed relationship, only to have her find out about the big “secret” later. And you know that eventually she will. You'll never give up your diapers--try as we may, none of us ever do. And you can't hide something like this forever.