The Three Biggest Lies

David Allen Coe said it best,

The Three Biggest Lies are:

This will only hurt for a little while.

I'll only put the head of it in.

I promise I'll never try to cum in your (insert location here).

I would add…

I promise I'll give you a call.

I'm a little short tonight could you pick up the bill?

What are your favorites?

Faith

• Your check is in the mail
• We're from the government and we are here to help.

· “It's not you, it's me.”

· “I'm not racist/homophobic, but…"

David Allen Coe's singing about the Three Biggest Lies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hlgUALw_SE

Lyrics to the entire song: https://genius.com/David-allan-coe-3-biggest-lies-lyrics

It’s not the money but…

that dress looks great on you…

im being completely honest here…

“It is nothing personal.”

" Trust me"

“I love you.”.

“It’s a bargain”

”Lowest Price of the______”

“No ….. that dress doesn't make your ass look big.”

(Your ass makes your ass look big.)

If elected I promise …

You’re a nice guy……”BUT,” “ I just want to be friends,” ” I have a boyfriend,” “ I’m not looking for anyone,” “ I prefer a guy who’s….,” “ I’m here visiting with friends…. and we’re leaving now.” Those were the bs lines that I got sick and tired of, when I was single.

I'll think about it.

I'll talk to your father about this.

It's in discussion.

I'll be there when you need me most!

I promise!

If I said it, it is the truth!

I always take responsibility for my actions!

I would never lie to you!

The check is in the mail.

I would never lie to you!

That's my favourite.

Cum inside me. I’m on birth control!

Cum inside me. I’m on birth control!

Hello daddy …

Exactly dahiana

“I'm from the government and I'm here to help”--the most terrifing sentence in the English language!

“If you need something just call."

“No one will ever know.”

“Don't call us – we'll call you.”

I am an Engineer and I am here to help.😂

“ this will hurt me more then it will hurt you”.

• I’m fine, nothing’s wrong (or "No, I'm not mad at you")
• You’ve lost weight
• It's so great to see you

“I'll pull it out before I cum!”

I am an Engineer and I am here to help.😂

Thanks, @Naughty_Elf that took me back a few years.

I'm an electronics tech. In the 50s and 60s I repaired thousands of car radios. The Western Auto used to sell rear seat speaker kits which were very popular with the kids. There was a waitress where my wife and I went often who got a Mazda convertible for her high school graduation in the 60s and she wanted a rear speaker. Her father was an EE so he bought one of those kits and installed it. The radio worked about 10 seconds then SMOKE!!! Most electronic things never work again if you let the smoke out. The kits were made in the days of tube radios, with the advent of transistor outputs in the late 50s the speakers HAD to match them exactly. I had a great time kidding her that you should never hire an engineer to do a technician's job.

I am an Engineer and I am here to help.😂

I'd substitute a few other occupation in that sentence @Naughty_Elf. Lawyer, some medical professionals, and other “overly educated know everything” types. Sometimes they just don't help.

The crews on our drilling rigs always would use that line. All in good humour.

I am an Engineer and I am here to help.😂

This has become something of a political joke. And mostly baseless, because professional people like that do not come somewhere spontaneously out of the goodness of their hearts. If they are at someone's doorstep (or more likely at a company) it is because they were asked and contracted to put their expertise to help in solving a problem someone is having.

These kind of trained specialists/people do not just magically show up somewhere without being expressly asked.

And they do expect to get paid for their time.