Telling a new person about you

I am wondering how you told your significant other about your diaper fetish? I have had some vanilla relationships and I can never

decide when to tell that person about my diapers. If say something too early on, they don't really get to know you. If you tell them too late, then feelings and emotions are involved and they may not like or want that! How do tell someone?

Well why do you wear diapers?

The biggest mistake I ever made was not telling my fiance I liked wearing diapers and rubber pants. We married, raised a family, but I never told her about my fetish. Instead I had to wear secretly when ever the opportunity arose, hide my diapers, rubber pants, and diapers pins. With a busy life, I seldom had the chance to indulge myself, except when I went on business trips. Usually I'd go out to a club where I might find adult entertainment and secretly wear diapers and rubber pants, have a few drinks, meet a lady and wet my diapers throughout the night. That was such a lonely way to enjoy my fetish. Our marriage ended after 25 years-she never l found out I was a diapers lover. I was still young enough and knew I wanted to meet a woman who I could love and tell about my lifetime yearning to wear diapers and rubber pants, wet and mess myself, how it all started, hoping that after my disclosures, she would understand, offer her support and willingness to love a guy like me. Not long after I started meeting girls, dating and always wore diapers and rubber pants, even wetting myself during dates. If we dated more than twice, my rule was to tell them I had diapers on and go from there. As one would expect, the girls had a wide variety of responses running from “you're disgusting, you're a pervert, you're a baby to ”is that all? Seems like no big deal. Or even, that could be fun."

And then I met a girl I feel in love with the second time we saw each other and couldn't wait to tell her. I put my best cot and tie on over my diapers and rubber pants, took her to a very nice restaurant, had a great dinner and wine and near the end, after a very intimate and sometime arousing conversation, wetting my diapers often, I told her my deep, dark secret. Her response was much better than I hoped for. She smiled, placed her hand on my crotch and squeezed, saying “I've wanted to do that all night. I love being with you and kind of suspected you might have something to tell me.” We've been together ever since.

If I would stay overnight with someone, I would put on a diaper before bed and say “its because I need them”. And I really need them for peace of mind and for occasional accidents.

This is a tuff decision, I would think it would be easier if it was a medical need vs a fetish. Myself being incontinent and having the need for diapers I would definitely let them know about it by the second outing.

I probably would do the same as a fetish if the fetish is that important to you. Everyone has something hidden in a closet. If the fetish wasn't that important I would possibly wait to feel things out.

I've discussed this in several other posts you can find here. But basically…

I've always had a fascination with / attraction to all aspects of diapers; as a kid I'd longingly envy younger kids who wore them and discovered that I loved the smell of wet diapers / peed-in clothes (mine or ones from girls, I was never attracted to the scents of other males). When I went through puberty and discovered masturbation this was part of it, also this is when I discovered that I loved the smell of girls' panties (which usually was a mixture of female scents and pee).

Over the next 7-8 years this turned into a major cloth diaper fetish and began to be a problem of sorts--I loved my diapers and I also loved girls, but the two seemed to be mutually exclusive. So, for about 13-14 years it was the “binge and purge” thing. I'd have a relationship with a girl, we'd have a fight or break up and then I'd be back to my diapers, then we'd make up or I'd find a new girl and try to swear off of my diapers…over and over again.

So I realized fairly early on that any relationship with a girl would also have to include my diapers. But the idea of letting girls in on the secret scared me to death. So I learned to drop hints and look for signs. A good time to do this was if / when the topic of someday having kids came up. I'd make some remark about “changing all of the wet stinky diapers” and if the girl reacted negatively ("Oh I don't want kids because I can't stand the idea of diapers!") that made it pretty clear that she'd also never tolerate mine. This happened most of the time.

But once or twice I'd find girls who didn't seem to mind, “Oh I wouldn't mind that, I babysit a lot and change diapers and it doesn't bother me at all” etc. So in these cases as opportunities arose I'd continue to find out more.

And usually, my introducing the idea that I wanted to wear the diapers coincided with us becoming intimate. That's a good time to discuss fantasies and after asking about hers, she'd ask about mine and I'd usually say “I want to be treated like a baby" then--depending on how that went--eventually, the rest of it.

This (as documented elsewhere) had varying results. But, bottom line, pretty early on I knew that I loved my diapers and could never have a long term relationship or marriage without the girl knowing about, approving and (hopefully) being part of it. I knew I could not hide it. At some point, as the relationship became more serious and the usual discussions (politics, religion, etc.) were had, one of them had to be about my diapers!

And it was scary but also liberating. I always knew that I had everything to gain and little to lose--yes, if I did this and the relationship didn't work out I'd lose the girl but I'd still have my diapers and eventually another chance to try it again.

It's kind of like that old story about W.C. Fields, who once said “Every time I see a beautiful woman I ask her if she'd like to go to bed with me. 9 out of 10 times I get slapped, but the other one time? Boy do I have a wonderful night!”

So, the thing to do is slowly “test the water”, if that yields positive results then eventually you have to bring it up. It's part of you, they need to know it and understand it and accept it--or not. But you have to find out, and not doing so isn't fair to your spouse / partner and it isn't fair to you, either.