How do you bring up medical kink?

Okay, unfortunately I'm single. But even if I weren't, it occurred to me that I have no idea how to bring up my kinks to a potential partner.

Other kinks like spanking, dirty talk, stuff like that are easier for me to bring up, they are quite common after all. But I wouldn't know how to tell a partner that I'd like to participate in medical play especially since I'm quite nervous about it. It would be super embarrassing for me especially because a huge part of my medical kink is to not be in control and be treated like a part of the job instead of as a person. (Kinda funny how the humiliation aspect is too humiliating so I can't bring it up lol)

And since I'm pretty inexperienced and new to the scene I thought maybe someone here could give me tips on how to share my fantasies with partners

It not terribly difficult to discuss with someone you are comfortable with however it is not always a reciprocal interest. In that case you either need to be ok not playing or find an occasional play partner to create scenes with. I prefer my exams to be clinical and avoid sexual contact with the doc.

In the past I would test people by “accidentally” clicking on a video of it and watching their reaction.

There are obviously difference angles on how to approach the subject but for me, I feel as follows: Medical fetish has been a life-long kink of mine. Not many people have a whole room in their home dedicated to their fetish like I do. I could never be in a long term relationship and not include this regularly but she has to embrace and want it as much as I do, not just 'let me' enjoy it on occasion. With this said, if you introduce this to someone that knows your friends and family and she is appalled by it/thinks you are weird, you run the risk of your deepest secrets being exposed and judged forever.

You can't UN-ring the bell.

Well for me being a lesbian it may be different. But I am a lipstick lesbian. Usually on the second or third date and sleeping over I will bring up if they have ever seen inside another woman or how do they feel about it when they go to the doctor. Sometimes I will ask if they like toys and let them look in my nightstand drawer which is full of toys and four speculums. One is a medium plastic Graves and the other three are metal Graves in small medium and large. I watch their reaction. Usually, they get interested pretty fast and want to look so I let them look inside me. Then they usually want to know if they look the same inside and I ask if they want to see. Then I will insert a speculum and ask them for their phone. I can show it to them like that or record it if they like. Of course, I have a stethoscope and other medical equipment because I am a nurse. For reason they find it easier to talk to me.

Been a tough subject with my wife but she knows all the clues are there. I love enemas and being pegged.

If I met someone I wanted to get serious with, I would not bring up any kink or my desires. I wouldn't want to ruin it.

If I met someone I wanted to get serious with, I would not bring up any kink or my desires. I wouldn't want to ruin it.

@sundaybrunch Is there some point you would broach your kinks, or hint at them? Would you be satisfied in a relationship if you suppressed them forever? Fortunately for my wife and I, we cautiously introduced our kinks relatively early on. We didn’t blurt them out on our first date! Some stuck, some didn’t. We hit a happy medium and had/have a beautiful relationship.

Sorry, I was talking about kink in general, not just medical kinks. Didn’t read the tags assigned to this thread, but I think what I said applies.

For medical play, it started out with the question did you ever play doctor as a kid? This is where our conversation started then more questions came about like why did you play doctor as a kid and what did you like about it. Then finally the question came would you like play as an adult. Before long, we built our medical room.

If you're single…then who cares! Honestly, if you want a fulfilling and lasting relationship you need to be honest from the start. Bring it up as a routine “get to know you” conversation. Ask them “Do you have any kinks or fetishes?” Then go on to describe yours. If they don't like it, ask if they're comfortable with you playing if you do pursue the relationship. Most of all, be honest with yourself and your partner or potential partner. The last thing you want to do is get so far into a relationship and the actually reveal yourself and then it not work out because of it. Find someone who respects you for who you are. I know it can be tough to do that but it will be the best in the end.

Honestly, if you want a fulfilling and lasting relationship you need to be honest from the start. Bring it up as a routine “get to know you” conversation. Ask them “Do you have any kinks or fetishes?” Then go on to describe yours.

This approach sounds so typical from a self-help/improvement/get to be a success book: lay it all out and honesty will be its own reward.

I don't really think that life works out best that way. People are so easily shocked at things and it seems better to bring up such intimate matters slowly and incrementally, bit by bit. Not in a ‘let it all hang out’ manner.

People are so easily shocked at things and it seems better to bring up such intimate matters slowly and incrementally, bit by bit. Not in a ‘let it all hang out’ manner.

Totally agree with this. The first time I opened up about this kink to anyone, it was with someone I'd known for a while and who I knew had pretty liberal views on sex and played very freely on his own. But kink hadn't been something he engaged in, so I don't think he knew what to do with my niche sexual interest to the point that I got the feeling that he thought it defined my sexual being more than it actually did.

This approach sounds so typical from a self-help/improvement/get to be a success book: lay it all out and honesty will be its own reward.

I don't really think that life works out best that way. People are so easily shocked at things and it seems better to bring up such intimate matters slowly and incrementally, bit by bit. Not in a ‘let it all hang out’ manner.

I agree that not dumping all of your kinks on someone all at once is a good idea, but I also agree that it's good to bring up kinks/ fetishes early and try to be as honest as possible. Even I'm not dating someone who I know is not explicitly kinky, I try to date people who seem open minded and exited about sex. I think that it's best not to “trick” someone into seeing a video or getting at the conversation in a roundabout way. Instead, I explain that medical kink is important to me and which elements turn me on the most. I do hold back on some of the more intense details: For example, I would say that I get turned on at the idea of a nurse giving me a handjob, but I don't say that it would be enjoyable for me to be bound and given enemas.

Gloves are a particularly central part of my kink, so I usually start off by asking whether we could incorporate them into sex/ anal play. From there, if the relationship progresses, I might move towards doing a full medical scene and adding more things to the repertoire.

The most important thing to remember is that you should be with someone who wants you to be happy and fulfilled, meaning that even if your kinks aren't reciprocated, a good partner would be curious and willing to explore them with you.

I wouldn’t even know where to start My now ex husband wouldn’t indulge me on my fantasies his loss will be someone else’s gain if I find the right person

I hope you do find the right person @chelle300 , everyone deserves the right partner that you can be fully open with, without shame or insecurity. Bringing it up quickly is probably the best way forward, you might get rejections but before long someone will be into the same and you can take things from there.

Id dip my toe in the water by testing theyre reaction to a few websites or pics first. Or asking the opinion on some fantasy play , even Rachael did it with Ross in friends.

This approach sounds so typical from a self-help/improvement/get to be a success book: lay it all out and honesty will be its own reward.

I don't really think that life works out best that way. People are so easily shocked at things and it seems better to bring up such intimate matters slowly and incrementally, bit by bit. Not in a ‘let it all hang out’ manner.

You're right on. Most people don't want deep honesty. They want something they are comfortable with.

It's so hard to find someone compatible, that by bringing up kink, it just might destroy the possibility of a good friendship.

I hope you do find the right person @chelle300 , everyone deserves the right partner that you can be fully open with, without shame or insecurity. Bringing it up quickly is probably the best way forward, you might get rejections but before long someone will be into the same and you can take things from there.

Not true. There is no natural law promoting everyone gets someone they want or deserve.

Many years ago, on a date:

Me: “So have you ever wanted to spank someone?”

Date: “I've never thought of it, never thought of hitting a woman.”

You're right on. Most people don't want deep honesty. They want something they are comfortable with.

It's so hard to find someone compatible, that by bringing up kink, it just might destroy the possibility of a good friendship.

Sunday you’re right on. But if a medical kink is what you’re looking for, why not risk it. Is that really a loss If they don’t satisfy what you’re looking for?

Sunday you’re right on. But if a medical kink is what you’re looking for, why not risk it. S that really a loss?

It doesn't matter. Most kink is a turn-off to vanillas. Imagine if you met someone you liked, and she brought up liking extreme bondage. This is not about meeting someone for play. Say it's a date. Would you want to keep going with the friendship?

It doesn't matter. Most kink is a turn-off to vanillas. Imagine if you met someone you liked, and she brought up liking extreme bondage. This is not about meeting someone for play. Say it's a date. Would you want to keep going with the friendship?

Sure I would. Maybe not to meet (I’m married), but I would indulge if I were interested. In that person. I really hope you find a compatible partner. You deserve it!

Not true. There is no natural law promoting everyone gets someone they want or deserve.

That's not really something I postulate either, maybe you are taking my post too literal. Saying “everyone deserves to be happy” does not mean that you're claiming there's a natural law working behind the scenes to make everyone happy, it's a statement of the perceived ideal world wherein everyone is indeed happy, knowing fully well that we do not live in this imaginary perfect world. It's an expression of support and wishes for a better future.