When I used to wear diapers just for convenience and not 24/7, before my incontinence started, I always thought, "Too bad I'm not incontinent and don't have a reason to justify wearing diapers 24/7"... Because of my overactive bladder, I had to go to the bathroom more than 20 times a day, which really interfered with all my daily activities. Whether at work, where I always had to excuse myself during meetings, at the movies, having to leave 2 or 3 times during the film, or at night, having to get up 2 times or more every night.
However, when my bladder started contracting involuntarily, I wasn't prepared for it. One thing was dreaming of a reason to justify 24/7 diaper use, and another thing entirely was actually suffering the consequences of this real need. At the beginning of the pandemic, nobody knew yet that this was a consequence of Covid, and I thought it was my fault for not seeking help to treat my overactive bladder throughout my life.
The saga began in February 2021: blaming myself for not taking care of my overactive bladder before, as I never prioritized it, I was now going from one urologist to another. No one could explain why my bladder became uncontrollable. They tried everything: physiotherapy, dietary restrictions, medications — Retemic, Vesicare, Migrabegrona, Trospium Chloride, etc., all with severe side effects — and nothing worked. I even saw a doctor abroad. The episodes of involuntary contraction didn't follow a pattern; sometimes the bladder was empty, and the contractions still happened. Depression set in, it affected my job, my marriage ended, everything was just falling apart. Therapy. Disorder. Psychiatric medication. I managed to get a remote job. My family was my support system. Luckily, I had someone to rely on.
In December 2022, a discovery: my current urologist came across academic research showing that those with overactive bladder experienced a severe worsening of their condition after Covid. And, in January 2023, I finally discovered it wasn't my fault: it was Covid. Therapy began to show results from then on.
After 2 years of trying medication without success, I had to resign myself to using diapers. I had to embrace the idea that just as people with vision problems wear glasses, those with incontinence use this other accessory, the diaper. You can't live the rest of your life lamenting "how good it was before".
Diagnosis: Overactive bladder due to neuromuscular deficiency of the detrusor, showing intolerance to the use of muscarinic receptor antagonists, maintaining a condition of urinary incontinence and urinary urgency. Does not respond well to medication, with significant intolerance and side effects to medications.
Gradually, I accepted the reality of having to wear diapers, not for comfort, but out of necessity, and now they are part of who I am. I had to learn to like wearing diapers again, and today I accept myself as an incontinent man and genuinely love the diapers, because without them, I wouldn't be able to have a life.