I suddenly had the irresistible urge to do some anal play today. My ass was hungry and wanted to get stuffed. Unfortunately, I don't have any butt plugs or anal toys available at the moment, so I was forced to improvise with food and household objects. I inserted three frozen bananas and a small frozen potato (peeled), and then followed these up with a long metal hammer that was in my toolbox (just the handle obviously, the head is sticking out of my sphincter). I am using cooking oil as lube, which seems to work fine. It's quite slippery, doesn't irritate my anal cavity, and enables me to slide in large objects easily.
I don't know the exact size of the hammer, but I estimate it is roughly 10 inches long and 1 inch in diameter. However, it is extremely rigid and heavy—much heavier than a comparable anal probe of similar size. I was unable to insert the entire hammer on my first try, maybe only 60% of it before I encountered significant resistance. So I gave up and took a break, just holding in the bananas and potato. But after an hour or so I tried again, using much more oil this time. I was slowly and meticulously able to guide the entire handle inside, and it felt absolutely amazing as soon as it went in. I was thrilled by the feeling of it smoothly getting through the resistance I was encountering earlier. I love how my sphincter is clenching tightly around the neck of the hammer as I struggle to hold it in. Some of it keeps sliding out, so I'm sitting on a chair from time to time just to push it back in.
The bananas and potato have been in for at least six hours now, and the hammer for maybe two. However, I am really struggling to contain everything and although most of the hammer is staying inside just fine, I cannot hold in the mushy mixture of banana and cooking oil much longer, which keeps oozing out and making a nasty mess in my underwear.
Just for good measure, I decided to improvise with some urethral play as well, which always goes very nicely with anal play. I found some hexagon Allen keys in my toolbox, and picked out one of reasonable size. It was probably 7 or 8 mm in diameter. I washed it out nicely with soap and water, and then lubed it up with the oil. I laid back on a towel and slowly inserted the Allen key into my urethra. I immediately felt a pinch as it slipped past the opening, but to my surprise it glided in almost effortlessly, guided in by its own weight. I didn't feel much pain, even though I did feel my urethra being filled and stretched to an almost uncomfortable degree. However, it was definitely more pleasurable than painful. Once the Allen key was fully inside, I relaxed and began stroking my penis.
The feeling of both my ass and penis being stuffed to the max is pure ecstasy, it delivers me the most mind-blowing orgasms. Anal play is great but there is nothing like feeling the walls of your urethra tightly clenching onto a solid object inserted deep inside it. That's a totally different sensation and level of pleasure that unlocks the most explosive orgasms. I find that I am able to extend my orgasms and have multiple orgasms much more easily by incorporating urethral play. This is because the sound, or plug, or whatever you are using is blocking your ejaculation pathway. In fact, I need to work much harder to reach orgasm when I've stuffed my urethra, which is good because it extends and prolongs my orgasm. Sometimes, I am even able to ejaculate without reaching orgasm, which also helps to extend and prolong the orgasm.
Just a word of caution: I was certainly a daredevil here, doing things that aren't necessarily safe, particularly with the impromptu urethral play. There are certainly UTI concerns when using anything other than sterile water-based lube so that is always the best option. I definitely don't recommend using cooking oil for urethral play. I was desperate so I decided to use what I had at my disposal. However, I think I'll be fine since the Allen key was relatively short and didn't extend all the way down to my bladder.
Have you ever improvised for anal and/or urethral play when you didn't have any sex toys at your disposal? If so, I'd love to hear about your experience!