"Modern intimacy, modern loneliness, and the advent of the sex robot." New Yorker 4/11/22 Zoe Heller

This is a book review of Noreena Hertz' “The Lonely Century”. I'm not even going to try to give you a synopsis, ya' gotta read it!! Don't know if it's on-line, but you might try. You might even want to buy a copy of this week's New Yorker (outrageous newsstand price, but…). Read the WHOLE article. Comments? (I call it a wrist-slasher of the first water!!)

duhwizzard (sigh)

Hi duhwizzard, and others. Yours is a frustrating post! The book review in The New Yorker that you mention does not appear to be online. Still, there are other reviews up there. I have printed off the ones from The Guardian and from Kirkus Reviews for reading a bit later. But what are you telling us? What did the review you mentioned mean to you? Why are you posting about it on Zity? Maybe quote a few passages from the New Yorker review - that would help!

Thanks - Ken

Ken - Sorry to be so dense…my apologies. Long review, I really wouldn't be able to do it justice (review OR book). A couple of passages that really hit me up was one referencing the contemporary male's predilection for internet porn…and the phrase “sexual anorexia”; the other point that was most interesting dealt with the evolution of AI and its impact on human sexuality (hence the sex robot). I guess I really didn't want to get an in depth discussion going, just wondered if there was anyone else out there who might have read it and if they had the same depressing reaction to it as I. I posted it on Zity primarily because of sexual focus and because…Zity is cheaper than therapy!!

Be well.

Https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/04/11/how-everyone-got-so-lonely-laura-kipnis-noreena-hertz

Is this the review @duhwizzard you were referring to??

Rigel - You got it!!! Thank you so much.

Thanks to duhwizzard (post #3 ) and to Rigel (post #5 ). I'll shortly read the New Yorker review (rather longer than the ones in The Guardian and Kirkus Reviews that I mentioned).

- Ken

Further to my last (post #7 ). Have now read Zoe Heller's review of the book ‘The Lonely Century' by Noreena Hertz. (I see that the original review was rather cheekily called “Down With Love?”!)

No, Hertz's book isn't really suggesting that we do away with love! It does seek to reassure us in the same way that, last century, some social commentators sought to reassure us against the perils of ‘alienation’. It seems that humanity may still have the edge on robots, even ‘sex-robots’. From Heller's conclusion: ‘What makes life with humans both intensely difficult and (theoretically) rewarding is precisely that they aren’t programmed to satisfy our desires, aren't bound to tell us that we did great and look fabulous. They are liable to leave us if we misbehave, and sometimes even when we don't.' (But contradicting this is a Spanish-made bot named Samantha that has actually been programmed to be erratic, just like some people!)

The review can occasionally make you laugh. How about this? ‘[O]ne Replika customer, Ayax Martinez, a twenty-four-year-old mechanical engineer living in Mexico City, flew to Tampico to show his chatbot Anette the ocean.'

All things considered, I wouldn't mind having a sex-robot in my cupboard. But would it be unhappy in there?

- Ken

At this point, I guess I'm going to have to read the book…and NOT on a Fire!!! @Kenneth177's point is well made; but what little bit I'm hearing about the evolution (?) of AI is just a bit scary. Add to that the “ads” I've been seeing re: sex robots and you gotta wonder, eh? Would satisfying your needs whenever you wanted get boring? Would you need to provide your bot with a bot to keep it happy? Is there room in the closet!!??!!

Stay tuned…

(By the way, Ken, did you ever return that mysterious call? Inquiring minds want to know…lol!!)

. Add to that the “ads” I've been seeing re: sex robots and you gotta wonder, eh? Would satisfying your needs whenever you wanted get boring? Would you need to provide your bot with a bot to keep it happy? Is there room in the closet!!??!!

I'd take ads about AI sex with a large dose of salt. I remember the late 1990s and all the talk about Virtual Reality Sex. You were supposed to be one step away from being able to enter a virtual world and have whatever kind of sex you wished, with whomever you wished. We all know what came of those claims.

I really do wish there were sex robots available. It would get rid of all the fuss and mistakes out of trying to gauge a partner's sexual mood and invariably getting it wrong more often than right. Not to mention trying to figure out how to broach your specific sexual idiosyncrasies to a partner and trying to figure out theirs.

I really do wish there were sex robots available. It would get rid of all the fuss and mistakes out of trying to gauge a partner's sexual mood and invariably getting it wrong more often than right. Not to mention trying to figure out how to broach your specific sexual idiosyncrasies to a partner and trying to figure out theirs.

There goes the mystery/fun!! (lol) And besides, would a sex bot shove a finger up your butt before it delivered your favorite “infusion”? Would it know which nozzle you were in the mood for and what to do while you were “holding”?

Add to that the “ads” I've been seeing re: sex robots and you gotta wonder, eh? Would satisfying your needs whenever you wanted get boring?

I thought I read that one of the AI robots was programmed to occasionally “have a headache” or “not be in the mood” - based on ones interaction with them. At that point, you could swap out your AI robot for a real wife!!! 😄

O.K. I mostly agree with Ken177 , But you must realize that true A.I would have a will of it's own . It could “turn” on you any time it should choose so . What is turned now as A.I. is just really good programing . It does not “think what is good for itself” It does not “think” what is good for you will benefit itself . So if one should engage in sex with a “doll” one is in realty having sex with some one's else's idea of what sex is . That doll , no matter how good the programming would not try harder if you gave it more pleasure . It's programming can only if you do this it would do that . No matter what you do you will never inspire love or a true response from it . You will never have the joy of learning her/his/it's wants, need's or true company . So in my opinion and it's just my opinion it's a dead end . And that make's her book a dead end to me . now that is just my own thought's I don't pretend i speak for any one else . If i was sat in a room and left in private with one I might speak to it or maybe even touch it just to gage it's response's . But I just don't think I would or could have any kind of sex with “it” Any one who did would have to come to the conclusion that it is just masturbation with a toy .

There goes the mystery/fun!!

When people get older and know their time of enjoyment on Earth is running out, they really don't need mystery and trying to fathom another person's mood and preferences, making the whole process of finding a sexual partner much longer and more complicated than it should be.

If you're still 20 or 30, then it's a different set of circumstances. You will have time on your hands to waste on this kind of stuff. Who wants to go through (sexual) courtship when they are past 50 or 60? Sex robots sound like a sensible idea, if anyone really ever gets so far as to truly develop them.

@agracier - in general I agree with you, but I don't think your contention is a universal truth. I know of several couples who are in very loving relationships and that extends to their lovelife….and a couple are WELL over 70. It think that it is probably true that many are enjoying sexually related “activity” purely for the physical pleasure in many instances - I'm admittedly one of them - but I think that precluding the possibility of the “mystery”, etc. after a certain point in life (i.e. AGE) goes a bit far. Just sayin'.

p.s. - I would still be in the market for a good sex robot, but hell, I can't even find a really good (non-human) male masturbator!!! lol

The concept of sex robots isn't new! Related Post about sex robots providing blowjobs from back in 2017:

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;topic=98278

Referenced an article about a Blow Job Cafe staffed by sex robots:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/a-blowjob-cafe-staffed-by_b_13373700