Enema Cataclysms

What have you tried with an enema that was, “Well, Schnitzel Gruber, Let's don't do that one again, Please!”

The Coffee Enema is supposed to be a relaxing, slow fill that is savored. I usually get it on the bed with a rubber sheet underneath and maybe try to go to sleep while it trickles in.

But reading that the coffee needs to focus at the heptic flexure,,,

I decide to borrow a tilt table and encourage it to reach in there better. All was going good, the first half quart was pumped in and the colon tube was nicely winding in with its delivery toward the transverse colon. As i went to tilt back, the bag was catching on the edge of the table bed and needed adjustment. I was mostly horizontal when the catch occurred. As i twisted to my right to fix it, it was not coming loose and going back to start position, threatened to pull it completely off the frame. So i relaxed and pumped in some more for good measure, relieving some of the weight in the bag. Then twisted more to the right to have a better look and grasp of the situation. As i reached over with my left arm and head hanging off the right side, the entire table rig dumped over in the middle of our living room rug. The mess was huge and it was as if i had been caught in a spiders web. Its bite had frozen me, while i leaked and oozed.

I promised never to go there again !! The only bright spot was getting it all cleaned up without getting caught in my fetish.

I have written about it more than once already, but the one real cataclysm I have had was when I was in Simms position taking a perfectly ordinary 3-qt enema like I had taken may times, when suddenly the nozzle detached from the bag and went up inside me!!

Catastrophe was avoided, but barely!!

Nothing really bad, other than having a nozzle slide out unexpectedly and spewing the mix all over the place. And the occasional inability to hold back the outbound flow during the 4 ft walk from where I administer the enema and the toilet seat….

Elaine

Many years ago before my wife an I had kids, we gave each other enemas on a regular basis. From time to time, one or the other would hold a two quart enema while we engaged in sexual intercourse. The evening it happened, she had already given me a two quart soapy enema, then the first of two 2½ quart salt and baking soda rinse enemas in the knee chest position using a curved douche nozzle. Once the second 2½ quart rinse enema filled my colon, I rolled over on my back, my hard penis sticking straight up, with the curved douche nozzle still buried deep in my rectum. My wife straddled my waist and slowly slid my penis into her vagina as she sat down, keeping her weight off my stomach with her lower legs. Once deep inside her, she started grinding her hips around on my penis and slowly going up and down. As she neared orgasm, her speed increased and my hips started coming up to meet her thrust as I neared my orgasm. That’s when it happened, our thrusting got a little too hard on my stomach. Out came the douche nozzle along with at least a quart or more of rinse enema all over the bathroom floor. We were at such a point in our orgasms, we never realized it happened until it was over. Luckily the water was clear, but it was still a mess to cleanup. Afterwards, we got a couple of butt plugs and once the enema was completely in, the douche nozzle got replaced with a butt plug and we didn’t have that issue going forward. In fact, we got a little braver, once we realized the butt plugs worked for their intended purpose. We purchase a second 2½ quart douche/enema bag, so we could take our final rinse enema together, after we’d both been cleaned out. As each bag emptied a 2½ quart enema into its recipient. The douche nozzles were replaced with butt plugs and we engaged in sexual intercourse in a variety of different positions. We primarily used the bathroom for this activity, but did venture into the bedroom a few times.

Large mineral oil enema - no matter how many rise enemas after, I still leaked oil during the night and messed up the bed… never, ever, another oil enema!

OOOOkkkkkkk….Up to this point, I had no real interest in this thread and, frankly Scarlett, really had nothing to add. UP TO THIS POINT!!!! Now, I may have an amusing anecdote to add. I should say, I'm not sure whether it was amusing or that it really pissed me off!! But of you can't laugh about it, why bother? Anyhow….

I've recently found a little routine that I really enjoy. Short version, wine enema and then run one off, Usually, it involves a small bulb enema or two to clean things out, a nice wine enema (about two 5 oz pours up the butt) and “running one off"). Generally, it's a solo affair and is done when there is lots of time to enjoy. Present time:

Wife is off to the grocery store. She generally goes for just one or two items, but she has NEVER come back with less than 20!! She is a SHOPPER of the first water and ANY shopping trip for her is a 1 to 2 hour affair! Me thinks…what a great opportunity to have a nice one! She leaves the house and I head for the bathroom to set things in motion.

While I generally take a bulb or two to clean things out before starting, I had just had a goodly dump and was sure things were in good order. So, I grabbed the 12 oz Mikacare bulb (with hose) filled it with 2 “generous” pours of really cheap chardonnay and headed for the bedroom to begin the routine. I had previously laid out next to the bed a recently acquired battery powered vibrator (so long Magic Wand!!) Got the wine in and was beginning to really relax when…phone!!! Usually it's spam…political donations, extended car warranties, Windows tech support (lol) or whatever)… but timing was right so I knew EXACTLY who it was…Wifey!!! (sp?) She was going to try a new recipe and wanted to make sure she had put all the needed ingredients on her shopping list. Remember, I was, at this point, in the bedroom with about 12 oz of wine up my butt!! And I was getting quite mellow to boot!!! I, of course, KNEW who it was, figured there would be no real problem, and…fool that I am!!…ANSWERED the phone! Well…

First, I had to find the recipe…this would involve a trip from the bedroom, through the nook and living room, into the kitchen…no problem, right? WRONG!!!! Little squirts from the moment I got off the bed to answer the phone (of course, it's on HER side of the bed) found out what she wanted, headed thru the nook and the living room into the kitchen and started to look for the recipe where she THOUGHT it was!!!! It's NEVER where she thought/thinks its was/is… and I'm SQUIRTING ALL THE WAY. I finally found it (that's ANOTHER story….a long one!!) and I'm STILL SQUIRTING!!!! (I'm in the kitchen, now, having already befouled the bedroom, nook, and the living room) and there's MORE to come!!!! Anyhow, I finally got off the phone and headed down the hallway past the dining room (just a little on the runner in the hallway) and made it to the powder room off the dining room hall way…REALLY let loose there!!! (just inside the powder room!!!!). Lucky me!!!

After a good 20-30 minutes of cleaning up, I finally got back to the original mission. Fired up the battery powered vibrator and…you guessed it…BATTERY DIED… before mission accomplishment!!!! Oh, well…..

End game!!! LAUGH!!!!

duhwizzard