Masturbation: From taboo to acceptance

Maybe I'm wrong, or maybe I'm stating the obvious, I don't know.

But it seems like masturbation is far less stigmatized and a more accepted practice now than it was when I was growing up as a teenager in the '70s. Back then, among us boys, if anyone admitted to masturbating or was caught doing it or rumored to be a masturbator, they would be ridiculed incessantly and made to feel ashamed and deviant.

Even in the mid- to late-80s, when I began dating, I struggled to discuss it. I was 20 the first time the topic was broached was when I was dating a gal who, after we had fooled around a little in my car one night, asked me bluntly if I masturbate. I was taken completely by surprise. I hemmed and hawed briefly, flushed with embarrassment, thought about lying, then figured what's the point? So I responded with a meek “yeah.” After an uncomfortable moment of silence, I asked her, “Do you?” Without hesitation, she blurted out, “All the time.” LOL! It put me at ease. But, oddly enough, the same question was posed unexpectedly by another gal about four years later, and I clearly wasn't all-in yet on the “masturbation is a natural activity train” as I hesitated, was embarrassed again, and responded with some half-ass answer like “I've been known to.” WTF? Again, I posed the same question to her and she was quite open about her proclivity for self-stimulation (we even did it together a few times after that night).

I've since had no issues telling women I've been with that I do this. And while it's something I wouldn't exactly discuss with my buddies (nor would I want them to discuss it with me), it seems like it's more widely accepted today than it was when I was growing up.

Just an observation. And, yes, I am going up to my room to masturbate now.

I think a lot of things are more accepted now than they were years ago,i think that could be the internet as you can look at anything you want now and realise you are not the only one into this or that kink.

That's how it was, all right. In 19th century, Victorian times, ‘self-abuse’ was taboo, with discouraging tales to tell you that it would make you go blind. I'm in two minds, though, about what the Hindus call ‘brahmacharya’. My respected yoga teacher, a Hindu himself, explained to us that to keep your semen intact was strengthening. (Mahatma Gandhi practised it, though he would surround himself with beautiful women and all but have sex with them, l gather.) The idea was parodied in the Stanley Kubrick film DR STRANGELOVE where the maniacal Jack D. Ripper spoke of keeping one's ‘precious bodily fluids’ unspilt!

- Ken

Now medicine has proven that sperm stagnation can lead to negative consequences. Therefore, if there has been no sex for a long time, then masturbation is simply necessary.

On the other hand - masturbation brings some variety to intimate life. These are other impressions, other sensations and pleasure! Probably because in our time it has become more acceptable than then.

it seems like masturbation is far less stigmatized …now than it was when … in the '70s.

I am afraid, I cannot judge or compare with that time :-)

Rather I think, it is a culture kind of thing. I was raised in a pretty strict and religious family in Poland. And church and society has a clear opinion about sexual stuff incl masturbation, although I heard it changed much over the decades. However, I early learnt that the limits of what you tell in public, with neighbors, with friends are different of how strict you practise it in family … And of course it is different by gender and so on.

When I came to Germany for a longer time or visited Austria or Switzerland, I faced much more sexual openness, how to speak or joke about sexual stuff even at colleagues at work, or how sexual is shown (eg. also at beach or at festivals) and I had the feeling, at a much younger to a much older age. Don´t know, if it is just a sterotype of thinking, but I assume, it is even more in southern countries or in Brazil or so. Not really sure, how Asia is or how different eg. Japan to Philippines or Thailand.

My mother considered teenage male masturbation as some kind of disgusting yet unavoidable practice. When she caught me masturbating when I was about 10 (thus before teen age), she thought I certainly could not have discovered it myself so interrogated me in case some pervert had shown it to me. In any case, she was pretty negative about it, though not to the point of prohibition (perhaps because such prohibition would be hard to enforce). This was 1980s.

There are documented examples of boarding schools in the 1950-60 that enforced anti-masturbation policies for boys and girls, especially having to sleep on the back, hands visible outside of blankets.

Regarding peer opinion, let's say among teenagers or young adults, my impression is that in the 1980s-1990s masturbation was not so much considered a shameful perversion as something for losers who can't get a boyfriend/girlfriend. Also, masturbation was perhaps more acceptable for young men than young women; a girlfriend told me that she masturbated but was ashamed of it.

There isn't really any choice but accept it. Its simple fact almost everyone does it. Less taboo more it is considered a private thing where as now people happy to admit they do it.

Now medicine has proven that sperm stagnation can lead to negative consequences.

They have found a higher incidence of prostate cancer in men who have infrequent ejaculations. It is believed ejaculation removes various toxins that build up in the prostate that can ultimately lead to cancer.

Masturbation and sex are discussed much more today than the past. Look at all the ED aids that are advertised, accessibility to sex toys, STD treatments etc. Here's a good article from JAMA about frequency of ejaculation and prostate cancer. There have been several studies that support the inverse relationship - but there are also a lot of other factors that can be related to cancer; overall health, smoking, previous STDs, alcohol, physical activity, reporting accuracy etc. One notable observation they make in this article is that more sexually active men tend NOT to get tested as frequently and that may skew the curve.

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/198487

A doctor from the Mayo Clinic debunked the idea that frequent ejacualtion helps prevent prostate cancer - several other studies support it"

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/prostate-cancer/expert-answers/prostate-cancer/faq-20057800

"At this time, there is no conclusive evidence that frequent ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate cancer. Some studies have suggested that men with a higher frequency of ejaculations may have a slightly lower risk of prostate cancer. However, this difference appears to be very small. Other studies haven't supported this conclusion."

Many of the articles promote 21 ejaculations per month as the healthy number - but that probably varies with age. Sounds like a good number to me regardless of whether it prevents cancer or not!!

I grew up in the 80s. I have told this story many times. Mom and Dad are very religious as in church every Sunday and Wednesday. If my sister or I were caught with our hands down our panties we would get yelled at. We were always told not to touch there except to wipe and bathe. I followed that rule at least until I was twelve. My sister who is two years older than me didn't. I was supposed to be staying overnight with a friend but her father got sick and they were taking him to the ER. My house was on the way so they stopped on the street and let me out. They watched until I went inside. Mom and Dad were gone somewhere because the car was gone. My sister and I shared a room and I had heard her moaning many times and felt sorry for her. I thought she was having nightmares. Well on this day when I got inside I heard the same moans. I walked up to the bedroom door which was cracked. We kept the door cracked a little if we were doing something we could get in trouble for. As soon as we would hear the car drive in we would stop talking on the phone or whatever bad thing we were doing. But on this day there was no car. It was just me. I got to the bedroom door and my sister was naked masturbating on top of the covers. I watched until she noticed me and sort of freaked out. Then she talked me into taking my clothes off. She told me to do what she was doing and I hesitated. Then she touched my clit and rubbed a little and asked if that felt good. I replied yes. Then she went back to doing herself and showed me to put a finger between the labia and get my finger wet and rub where she rubbed me. I did it and I was surprised at how wet I was. It felt great. She told me that she and all her friends do it. Of course, I wanted to be a big girl. But she had another reason for showing me. She knew if I did it too I would not tell Mom. I would never tell anyway as I was not like that. I asked her why she was on top of the covers. She said as soon as she would hear the car she would jump up and put her panties on and begin looking in the closet like she was changing clothes. The summertime was so much easier because we ran around in bikinis. We were always forced to wear PJs when we went to bed. You did not want to get caught naked. Like if you took a bath and forgot your clothes to wear or PJs and ran across the hall to the bedroom you would get yelled at and threatened with a grounding. That is why we stay nude around here. It is like being rebellious. Mom and Dad were here once and my sister was vacuuming and caught the handle in her sweatpants pocket, turned off the vacuum, and said shit. Mom said oh my land. Well, I am sure you are used to wearing your bras and panties when you do this and nobody is here. My sister's girlfriend was at the counter reading something and she didn't even raise her head she said in a low tone," you have no idea." Mom said what? We all started laughing. Anyway, after my sister taught me how to masturbate and that it was not bad. I had to show my best friend and talked her into doing it.

Now it is accepted at least in the US culture. There are even moms who teach their daughters to masturbate instead of having sex with boys and taking the chance of getting pregnant. I have friends who say they caught their daughter masturbating and they just said excuse me and turned around and closed the door and left. I had another friend who told me about her son masturbating in the bathtub with Crisco oil. There were a few of us and we had been drinking when she brought it up. At first, she thought it was her washing baby oil off after sunbathing but it dawned on her it was winter. She kept having to clean the tub so nobody slipped. Then she went in the bathroom right after her son took a bath. There was an oil film in the tub again. So she confronted him. She said she told him that she knew what he was doing when he took a bath and it was alright but, to please clean the tub after so nobody slips and gets hurt. She said he did not try to deny it and said yes ma'am. With that story, we could not stop laughing because someone said he is the Crisco Kid.

Then talking with others on here who have kids some say they have purchased their daughter's toys instead of letting them use theirs after they had been caught. Then some have caught their daughters with toys using them and said they just said excuse me and shut the door. Some the daughters masturbate in front of their moms. I asked my sister once if she ever did that while getting her enemas. She looked at me like I was crazy and said WTF kind of question is that. Mom would have had a heart attack.

I grew up in the 50s, and sex hadn't even been invented yet! ‘Good’ boys and girls just didn't do those things. No idea how it happened, but in senior year, the homecoming queen and captain of the football team… Yep- pregnant! Talk about a major scandal. The word ‘pregnant’ wasn't even used in mixed company back then.

I know my parents were aware of my masturbation and wet dreams, sticky sheets and all, and after a school dance, my little white Jockey shorts were always sticky from humping the gal I was dancing with. And the sly little smiles from them as the shorts were filled. Ah, yes.

Well, I know that in sex ed classes, masturbation is taught to be normal and all.

But for all of that and all of the literature produced in women's mags and in the media, I have yet to know of even one friend of mine who will admit to masturbating or even having masturbated when younger. It's simply a subject I have never heard discussed.

Maybe my friends are a bunch of prudes or are too polite to talk about such matters, it still doesn't change the fact that it isn't discussed that I know of. And maybe just as importantly, I myself would never be the first to admit it either or start on the subject. It would be ever so incongruous to my circle of friends.

When In my sixties, I was visiting with a friend of mine who was twenty years older. We had had a good visit and laughed and enjoyed the past as older men do. For some reason, the discussion turned to showering and we were laughing about the “drop the soap” joke and other silly things and he asked, “Do you enjoy soapy hands?” “Of course”, I answered before I thought, and then we both laughed again. Then he said, “You didn't even hesitate. You're the first person I've ever known to admit to what we all do.” We laughed and I said, “You just did.” It was a fun discussion and I thought he was leading up to wanting to jack off with me, but he changed the subject and I was relieved and disappointed both.

Soon after that, I was visiting with another friend who was my age. I had arrived at his apartment on the ground floor, and could see him through the cracks in the blinds. When I got in and after we had greeted each other and mention the weather and things, I said, “You need to be careful. People can see you through the blinds when you masturbate.” He jumped up and asked, “How did you know I - - - - -” and then sat down. He was bright red and I felt a bit sorry for him. I said, “Because we all do," and changed the subject.

Other than that, I've never discussed it with anyone, but I would enjoy it if I did.

Growing up in the 50s we werent shy about our masturbation adventures and my pals & i would discuss it openly and the coach at jr high would tell his team players not to jackoff before a football or basketball game,as it would weaken your legs! That was a myth,but it kept him in control of the teams.

Back in my younger days masturbation was never talked about unless it was referred to in a joke of some sort. All the boys I knew joked about it but no one ever admitted to doing it. We shared Playboy magazines “out of curiosity” but if anybody knew you rubbed one out, the ridicule and humiliation would have been relentless! I think we all knew what was going on but it was "Don't ask, Don't tell"…

Growing up in the 50s we werent shy about our masturbation adventures and my pals & i would discuss it openly and the coach at jr high would tell his team players not to jackoff before a football or basketball game,as it would weaken your legs! That was a myth,but it kept him in control of the teams.

Sounds like my experience as a teenager in the 50s. We alluded to it often in school with accusations like, you made the windows rattle at my house last night, in front of others m&f. Of course girls never did it. I had a group of friends with whom I got together to masturbate each other having contests to see who could shoot the farthest. When doing the guy next to you to see who got him off the quickest or slowest. I had a few who loved to do me because I had a foreskin and they didn't so it was fun to play with that. I'm sure other guys had friends they got together with too. I think the girls did too but they just wouldn't admit it. One guy said he and his sister used to do each other and that she would join us when we were at his house but she never did.

I had 2 nephews, one my age and the other 2 years younger. When they came to visit we always played in my room which usually became us with our pants down/off sitting on my bed playing with each other. One time my mother came in to tell us supper was ready. She just turned around and left and never said anything about what we were doing.

I was in military school in the early 60s and rumor had that they put salt peter in the milk to discourage masturbation! Well it didnt work as myself and roomate would masturbate quite frequently!

I was in military school in the early 60s and rumor had that they put salt peter in the milk to discourage masturbation! Well it didnt work as myself and roomate would masturbate quite frequently!

“Saltpetre,” (the term refers either to potassium or sodium nitrate) has no effect on carnal urges. The story that this chemical was put into soldiers' food to decrease their sex drive is a total myth. "

https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/history-you-asked/what-saltpeter-used-and-it-true-it-reduces-certain-carnal-urges

I was in high school in the early 70s and masturbation was a frequent topic of conversation and a common activity. So your experience certainly is not mine.

I also grew up in the early 60's and masturbating was discussed openly. I think I masturbated with almost every guy that I knew including my girl friends brother. Those were the days.

“Saltpetre,” (the term refers either to potassium or sodium nitrate) has no effect on carnal urges. The story that this chemical was put into soldiers' food to decrease their sex drive is a total myth. "

It is good for invisible writing though and making fuses for home made fire crackers.

“Saltpetre,” (the term refers either to potassium or sodium nitrate) has no effect on carnal urges. The story that this chemical was put into soldiers' food to decrease their sex drive is a total myth. "

It is good for invisible writing though and making fuses for home made fire crackers.

Many mental health practitioners have such an annoying and invasive way of asking questions about that. I’m a senior citizen, and I still masturbate. I’ve been doing it since age 11, and find that it relieves stress and being horny, better than anything else. You don’t have to worry about paying for lawyers, or wasting time and money. There’s nothing illegal, or wrong with it. For the religious folks who don’t approve, as well as the political police, they need to just mind their own business.

it seems like masturbation is far less stigmatized and a more accepted practice now than it was when I was growing up as a teenager in the '70s.

I don't know about the 1970's, but in the late 1940's when I began pounding away; it was never talked about so I had no clue about it being normal.

@roscoe and others: It was rumored in the old days that the (French) army put "bromide" in the food of the draftees to reduce carnal urges.