Any Asexuals on here?

Hi! So for some context I am a sexually positive asexual and have a lot interest in certain kinks such as medical, bondage, ageplay, glove to name a few.

So I was wondering

1.) how would you go about this and

2.) is anyone else on here like me?

For me its more about service to someone else as I cant see myself having any kind of sex but I will happily learn about kinks and other peoples experiences interest me. So yeah, anyone else?

@Bridg presumably you meant to title topic :

Any Asexuals

@Bridg presumably you meant to title topic :

Any Asexuals

Yeah let me fix that

First you have to define what you mean by having sex. That could for instance mean you are not willing to engage in penetrative sex, vaginal, anal or oral. That would be perfectly acceptable as a condition.

But perhaps you would care and wish to engage in various kinds of sex/intimate/fetish play with various degrees of nakedness and exposure with or without orgasm. That too is not uncommon and a valid option should you so wish.

All you need to do is set the boundaries and parameters beforehand and hope it works out.

Personally this kind of play would be something fun and attractive to engage in. No penetrations, no orgasming but still many other kinds of play. Once again, for me personally that is also sexual activity, but of a different kind.

First you have to define what you mean by having sex. That could for instance mean you are not willing to engage in penetrative sex, vaginal, anal or oral. That would be perfectly acceptable as a condition.

@agracier It gets very complicated!!! A short internet search enlightened me about asexuality (aces) and also left me totally totally confused. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, just like homosexuality, bisexuality, and heterosexuality. It is both an identity and a spectrum. Asexual people are sometimes known as ace or aces for short. The OPs original reference to acesexual most likely wasn't a typo! It’s a defined term (google it). LGBTQIAP+, the A stands for asexual spectrum, or a-spec. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/327272

Some aces may want romantic relationships. They can feel romantically attracted to other people, which may include the same sex or other sexes. Other aces prefer close friendships to intimate relationships. Some will experience arousal, and some will masturbate while having no interest in having sex with another person. Some asexual people do not want to have sexual contact, while others may feel “sex-neutral.” Other asexual people will engage in sexual contact to gain an emotional connection.

Other common identities which fall into the asexual or aromantic spectrum include:

• Aromantic. Aromantic people experience little or no romantic attraction. They prefer close friendships and other nonromantic relationships.
• Demisexual People who are demisexual experience sexual or romantic attraction, but only after they have formed a close, emotional connection with someone.
• Graysexual or grayromantic people identify somewhere between sexual and asexual.

There is a wide range of identities on the asexual spectrum, from people who experience no sexual or romantic attraction to people who engage in sexual contact under some conditions. Many asexual people form meaningful, lasting relationships, and some get married or have children.

Hi! So for some context I am a sexually positive asexual and have a lot interest in certain kinks such as medical, bondage, ageplay, glove to name a few.

So I was wondering

1.) how would you go about this and

2.) is anyone else on here like me?

For me its more about service to someone else as I cant see myself having any kind of sex but I will happily learn about kinks and other peoples experiences interest me. So yeah, anyone else?

I'm a heteroromantic asexual. I like romance (with the right person, but I'm currently single), but won't engage in sex at all ( no vaginal, anal, or oral), but will undress and put on a gown so a “doctor” can perform thorough, very invasive exams of my breasts, vagina, and anus/rectum as I'm strapped to the table with my legs spread uncomfortably wide and the “doctor" may masturbate me during the exam if he decides it's necessary.

I used to think that l was asexual, but probably that was because l was a heavily repressed gay young man. But I still had medfet-type interests - mainly about myself in medical or surgical situations. To force myself to eventually have sex, l first had to intellectually conceive the idea of offering myself to an older, experienced gay man. Hmm!

- Ken

Hello, I don't consider myself as asexual.. But I'm still a virgin man as 43 years old, I've repressed my desire about women.

@Bridg So you would serve someone, but it would have no conventional sexual desire for them? Yes, I see (I think).. Would you also work on yourself, on particular areas, for a kind of sexual pleasure, to advance knowledge?

@Bridg So you would serve someone, but it would have no conventional sexual desire for them? Yes, I see (I think).. Would you also work on yourself, on particular areas, for a kind of sexual pleasure, to advance knowledge?

Yep, exactly! I dont feel sexual desire for people but with negotiation and research ill happily look into specific kinks a partner would like to ingage in. Yes, working on myself (if you meant masturbation of any kind) is how I found out half of my kinks and made me look into others to expand my knowledge so I'd happily do it more ^^

I’m asexual! More leaning to sex-negative tbh. I love my fetishes (medical play, primarily giving injections), but so far I’ve only used them as an aid to non-invasive masturbation, and I dunno if I’ll ever go further. I mean, if there’s a genital in front of me, I’ll finger or rub it, but my partner can kindly not return the favour. 😂

I’m asexual! More leaning to sex-negative tbh. I love my fetishes (medical play, primarily giving injections), but so far I’ve only used them as an aid to non-invasive masturbation,

From definitions I've found, being asexual means ‘not involving sexual activity, feelings, or associations.’

So, since masturbation most certainly is a type of sexual activity, I surmise that the term ‘asexual’ is too broad and not precise enough. Is there a term to describe someone who doesn't care for physical sexual contact with other people, but still has sexual feelings, even if only indulged in only with themselves?

From what I've seen on the web (right! be all and end all authority on everything!!!) - some asexuals do masturbate but “feels little to no sexual attraction”. According to some literature, asexuals can still have sexual desire and sex drive. From what I've read (conflicting definitions)- I'm more confused as to what it really means to be an “ace” or asexual person. Here's an article

https://www.healthline.com/health/what-is-asexual

@agracier Is there a term to describe someone who doesn't care for physical sexual contact with other people, but still has sexual feelings, even if only indulged in only with themselves?

That sure sounds like where I am now in my life - I love looking and masturbating, but no desire to actually physically engage with anyone.

I fell into this group somewhat by default several yrs my wife had her female pluming removed because of cancer and it changed her.Sometime later was tested and found to be autistic +dd and became incontinent.I may not be a charter member in the group none the less.

I'm not asexual, but post and lurk on asexuality dot org. I joined that just simply because I'm disabled from birth, and at 46, have never even had a date. And that, alone, made me think I was asexual. So, I wanted to educate myself. Turns out, I'm probably pretty far from being asexual, but I seem to be aromantic. Romance is another spectrum that is dealt with on that board.

As for learning about kinks and other things within sexuality, this very board, and ones like it (certain subreddits, Pink Toxins, FetLife etc in my case) have been wonderful. I enjoy talking about my own fetishes/kinks, and sometimes learning about ones that others around me have. It's psychological, and I enjoy that. I'm not sure if that's what you're getting at at all, but I hope you get an answer that's right for you.

I am! I don't experience sexual attraction to other people (which is the only criteria for the definition - to the people arguing that feeling aroused/having a libido/having a kink invalidates anyone's asexuality, that's not true). I do lean towards sex-negative, and I find I am not interested in sex itself or what most people would consider sex acts. I find myself on this forum because I am aroused by certain medical situations and find they satisfy my libido. It's been a bit of a journey figuring that out and finding my place in the queer community, but it's really freeing to have language to talk about it and folks to talk about it with!

cheers!

@Bridg I'm not asexual, but often think I'm on that spectrum. While I enjoy “traditional” sex, my primary fantasies/interests are much more kink-focused, and I've found it difficult to make partners understand that often I don't want kink play (spanking, ageplay, some medical) to progress to oral sex, intercourse etc.

I am! I don't experience sexual attraction to other people (which is the only criteria for the definition - to the people arguing that feeling aroused/having a libido/having a kink invalidates anyone's asexuality, that's not true). I do lean towards sex-negative, and I find I am not interested in sex itself or what most people would consider sex acts. I find myself on this forum because I am aroused by certain medical situations and find they satisfy my libido. It's been a bit of a journey figuring that out and finding my place in the queer community, but it's really freeing to have language to talk about it and folks to talk about it with!

cheers!

I feel like you literally just described me oml. Kinda wanna sob at how you worded all that.

Going over what I wrote here

That sure sounds like where I am now in my life - I love looking and masturbating, but no desire to actually physically engage with anyone.

Clarifying - when I'm looking at pictures/images of women I do have all sorts of thoughts and sexual desires for them - but it's all in my mind.

Thank you all for your answers! Since posting this I have found a micro label under the ace spectrum that I feel fits me: aegosexual. When translated from Latin it means sex without self-exactly how i feel about it. It was interesting reading everyone's comments both from asexuals and allosexuals!

Labels are all very well, but do they actually fit anyone? the complex and varied nature of human sexuality i think defies easy segregation,

for example i am attracted to younger guys, my fetish is for medical examinations, and I find circumcision erotic, however I have had sexual encounters only twice in my fifty years, does that make me asexual, or just incredibly unlucky in love?

however I have had sexual encounters only twice in my fifty years, does that make me asexual, or just incredibly unlucky in love?

I would say that the intentions and longings you have are more determining than any actual occurrences of sexual activity.

Many people lack the necessary social/personal skills in finding partners for sexual activity. That doesn't mean they are asexual though.

Pardon my dumb ass but what is a "Asexuals"…😆😆

Pardon my dumb ass but what is a "Asexuals"…😆😆

An asexual is someone who does not experience any sexual desire nor wishes to.

This is a simple explanation even though individual situations can be more complex and nuanced.

I'm happy to have found this thread, and I'm sorry to bump it by responding years after the last reply... but if it's relevant to me, then it might be relevant to somebody else out there, too, and isn't that the whole point of this site?

Just recently, I've begun to come to the realization that I might be somewhere on the "Ace" spectrum. It feels embarrassing to be my age and still figuring out my sexuality (or lack thereof), but I suppose it's better late than never.

My only real turn-on is medfet. While I recognize when someone is attractive, I don't feel the urge or desire to have sex with that person. Yes, I masturbate, but when I do, I have never fantasized about having sex with someone - instead, I always imagine a medical scene: i.e., examining a patient, myself being examined, or witnessing an exam. Even when I seek out "spicy" material online, straight up intercourse (m/f, f/f, or m/m) doesn't do it for me. I would be open to a romantic relationship if I were to meet the right person, but searching for that person has never been a priority for me.

I always just thought I was weird, and maybe I am, but it's comforting to know that there might be others like me out there.

Trust me, you aren't alone.

@Matt2327

That is a very good description of how I go about things in my fantasy life and thoughts. You are indeed not alone.