As a child, were you aware that your parents lived a Domestic Discipline lifestyle?

When I was growing up, my father was in charge of family discipline. My sisters and I were disciplined by both mom and dad, but according to Dad's rules/leadership. He expected Mom to be a strict disciplinarian when he was not around, but she was required to bring very naughty behaviors to his attention, so he could correct us properly. If our misbehaviors were relatively minor, Mom would put us over her lap (naked, in the master bedroom), and attempt to correct us with the hairbrush or the bathbrush. If our minor misbehaviors continued, or we were guilty of major transgressions, we received Mom's discipline, and were then sent to our bedrooms until Dad got home. When we had an appointment with Dad, he dealt with us in his workshop (still naked, and bent over his sawhorse), where he corrected us with his carpenter's ruler, his leather strap, and/or a stiff-but-flexible “hickory switch”. A bare-bottom paddling/tanning/thrashing from Dad was feared and, as a result, was an effective deterrent against behavior that would earn such punishments. Therefore, workshop appointments with Dad were not a very frequent occurrence. A rebellious attitude was definitely adjusted over Dad's sawhorse!

My sisters and I were also very aware that Dad was in charge of adult discipline. If Mom deserved discpline, she would have a punishment appointment with Dad in his workshop. But, he always said that he refused to make and enforce rules that he was not also expected to follow. If he determined that he was guilty of behavior for which his children or his wife would receive discipline, then he insisted that he receive the same punishments that he would administer. When this happened, he would give Mom the authority to correct him in his workshop.

Was anybody else aware (or strongly suspect) that their parents had an adult Domestic Discipline relationship? If so, were your parents simply open and honest about it, or did you find out in spite of their efforts to keep it a secret?

I rarely speak of my Dad anyplace, much less here, but, this posting hit me square in the face and some triggers went off. I cannot say that I/we have been brought up in what is now commonly referred to as a “Domestic Discipline” home. But, discipline has always been paramount in our home by both parents, both coming from strong, mixed, ethnic backgrounds with immigrant parents, which I think has something to do with it. Don't get me wrong, I/we were nor are ever beaten per se but there's no such thing as “loss of priviledges; time outs; groundings, etc.” If you break the rules, which frankly have always been “firm but fair” you get a spanking! End of story!

That being said, it went for my Mom too. Mom's always been the executor of the spankings, whether at her or when Dad was around his initiation. But, Mom was also spanked and it was not a sexual thing, as best I can tell. It was overheard and accidentally seen on few ocassions. It was done in the same manner by Dad as we got ours as if Mom was trained to give and receive in a certain way. Lecure, chance to explain actions, admissions and discussion, and then over the lap. Mom got her share as well. SO, I would have to say that depending on how you want to define it, I/we have been brought up in a “Domestic Discipline” home, as best I understand the phrase. I will say this, though, Speaking only for myself, not for my sisters, it has kept me straight and focused and I don't think I would have been able to grow and succeed as I have thus far, or take on the responsibilities in and outside of home that I have as well as I'd like to believe I do without having those firm but fair boundaries.

If my parents practiced domestic discipline, it was a well kept secret. I have no reason to believe that my dad spanked my mom.

I wasn't an eyewitness but there were two incidents where my dad spanked my mom. I heard him being stern with her and the distinct sound of a hand spanking with my mother crying.

My own parents didn't, but I know it does happen. There's a girl I know called Tracy whose dad spanks her mum and she enjoys it. Tracy also loves being spanked by men, so it's obvious where she got that from.

Reading Bottomfromthetop's account it sounds like somebody shpould have reported his parents to the authorities. That is no way that parenst should discipline their children !

Although I imagine that it is all his fantasy !

@JSChallenger A lot of abuse happens if it can be masqueraded as “care” or “discipline”, unfortunately.